Any help on my situation

[time2findhelp]

Me and my wife have been married almost 3 years now. She puts her family at the forefront, visits them almost 3-5 times a week and visits her nephew and neices more often and they come way before me. I should mention her nephew and niece has had a rough time in the past but not anymore but she yet thinks she should spend more time with them. If I want to spend time alone or by myself she is not happy, I have to go everywhere with her.

We have arguments of moving to a different city or town as I am finiding it hard to get a job where we live, and have huge debts. She keeps hold of all the money and does not even help pay any essential bills or debts including the rent.

I also am threatened day in and out if I want to get a job or a job with long hours she threathnes to leave. She knows we need the money but yet any communication on that matter she says I don't care or love her and I am the one who is the cause of arguments and the failure. I have suggested marriage counselling and she is not interested.

She even says more often she wants a divorce and wants to leave and later when the argument dies down will not mention anything and the same thing happens again. She doesnt do any chores in the house, even getting a glass of water. I am almost on decision time as to live this way all my life or should I leave.

Any help on my situation would be helpul.

[Boisdevie]

You're not happy with the marriage. So leave. Easy peasy.

[Wakeup]

I also am threatened day in and out if I want to get a job or a job with long hours she threathnes to leave.

You can't see this (yet) due to your codependency but if she did leave you, it would be THE best thing that every happened to you.

Read up on what ails you (Codependency) and perhaps if you get a light-bulb moment, you'll get the strength to either stop letting her break your ballzzz or, you'l actually get out of a marriage that makes you hate yourself. You hate yourself because you allow her to control you while you resent it. You likely argue all the time while you try to control her and fail at it. You VOLUNTEER for everything she lays on you and you take it. Why?

[Cerby]

Sounds like you've let her walk all over you in your relationship and it has finally hit the fan. WakeUp has good advice.

You're essentially her bitch because you're afraid to say no, but the Codependancy article you find will tell you that.

[Boisdevie]

You're essentially her bitch because you're afraid to say no, but the Codependancy article you find will tell you that.

Bet she won't let him read it.

[time2findhelp]

It was never so bad, its got worse recently. I have tried speaking and all i get is if you don't like it leave. I tried to get help before from doctors and other agencies but they were useless.

[searock]

Why don't you leave then?

[Cerby]

It was never so bad, its got worse recently. I have tried speaking and all i get is if you don't like it leave. I tried to get help before from doctors and other agencies but they were useless.

Call her bluff, pack up and go.