Should I continue with him as a friend?

[kamani]

I am happily married with a 6 year kid and a loving husband. I had a colleague in my office and we have known each other for 3 years. Though we don’t get much opportunity to talk to each other, whenever it happens for office duties we are made to spend hours in each other’s company for long hours. Most of the time, two of us were not alone, and there was my other friend in my office room. During these instances we found that we have so much in common and like each other’s company.

He is also happily married with a kid. About one year ago I realized that I love him but I was so careful not to hint it to him in any manner, unless something subconscious made him notice it. Inside I was yearning for his company more and more and this affected my routine work as well. I was terrified by this feeling, that he would notice it and was purposely looking down when I passed his office room each day. I avoided talking to him and smiling at him in small audiences, as before unless we met face to face, as it was unfair not to greet him ‘Good Morning’ and so on.

Please believe me I haven’t had sexual fantasies on him, I can’t think about him that way!

He thanked me for the friendly advices I gave him which led him to ultimate success. He enjoys sharing his professional and personal achievements with me.
His behavior towards me was always soft and friendly with some respect in it. When I asked any question on his subject matter for official reasons, his answer was very clear and explicit; it seemed he enjoyed educating me on it.

I have noticed that when it comes to his official duties I had the highest priority among others. He greets and smiles at me as usual. In one or two instances when there was no one around absolutely, I have noticed ‘love’ in his eyes. (I’m not sure.). We have never dined together even. No flirting, never.

I don’t entertain even a thought of cheating my husband or his wife.

Few weeks ago he got a transfer to another office, with more benefits. Actually he applied for it and he got it. As usual he thanked me for my guidance, though I couldn’t remember what I had told him.

He left my office. None of us asked for each other’s contact numbers or email address. However I invited him to visit ‘us’ back in the office (Of course, always my other colleague is in the room with me). He said ‘OK’. I’m desperately missing him now and I don’t know what he feels. I still want him as a friend.

He will be coming for the farewell function due to be held for him next week. Should I continue with him and his family as a friend? Or should I bid him farewell forever?

Please advice, I have nobody to talk this issue with, not in my country even! This hurts me a lot.

All your responses are welcome while I wonder what the male point of view on this would be!

[HeartIsAching]

I'm thinking he's aware of your feelings, maybe has feelings of his own, and rather than make a mess of his life he requested the transfer deliberately.

Let it lie. He did the two of you a favor.

[kamani]

Thank you very much, you were the very first to console my heart.