Daughter and Adult Toys

[StephRose]

I apologize if this isn't the right forum for this but I thought posting on a parenting forum but seem fishy...still might but any help here would be appreciated.

My 15 year-old daughter and I have always been extremely close and she has always been able to tell/ask me anything. Recently, she came to me and told me how many of her friends are starting to have sex but that she wants to resist and hold-out for someone special. She made sure to preface it though with that she is a normal teenage girl with questions, curiosity, etc. She then proceeded to tell me how she wanted to get an ‘adult toy’ for herself but with no credit card, no driver’s license, etc she needed my help.

After I picked my jaw from the floor, I bought myself time saying we would discuss on the weekend when I am not swamped with work. Now I sit here running through what to do. On one hand I realize how lucky I am/how great she is for holding off exploring with someone else and that a toy is a much safer/better option, especially at this time. However, I can also say I never dreamed of taking a mother/daughter trip to the sex shop. I could buy from amazon for her but I have never even bought for myself and only used once and I assume she doesn’t know what to get either. Plus am I really going to pay for my daughter’s ‘toy’? Sends shivers down my spine.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? Did you resolve it? Thoughts?

[smackie9]

So you are shocked to you see that your little girl has become a women that desires sex. I watched an eposide of Oprah, where she had a sex therapist come on and explain how providing a vibrator to your daughter to help curb sex with boys. I totally agree with this. Just keep this simple, she just needs a nice little pocket vibrator, so all you have to do is pick one up for her. They fit in the palm of your hand and are inexpensive.

Hats off to your daughter, she is quite mature for her age.

[Illusional]

i'd say, just go along and buy one for her. at least she is open enough to be straight forward and ask you about it herself. on the other hand, if you won't buy it, she'll just find someone who is of age (maybe an elder bf) who is willing to give her a helping hand.


raverboy

[Wakeup]

If you're going to disucss this with her then I suggest you tell her to experiment with her own fingers first so that she can bring herself to orgasm without the aid of a vibrating toy. If she gets used to only cumming from a buzzzzer, then It's more likely she'll have a hard time getting off with just ordinary boy parts.

[HeartIsAching]

I'd suggest that you have an open and honest conversation with her about it, and tell her that it makes you uncomfortable...

Then get online and order one.

[smackie9]

then It's more likely she'll have a hard time getting off with just ordinary boy parts.

What the? I never had a problem .....

[TheCafeTerrace]

Your daughter is less prude that you - good for her. Just get her a rampant rabbit or something, they're pretty good from what I can tell and last time I was in a sex shop they were on offer at £20 a pop. Get one for yourself too.

[Wakeup]

What the? I never had a problem .....

I didn't say she would definately have a problem, I said it is more likely that she may. If she becomes accustom to only coming with the aid of BOB Battery Operated Boy Friend, then the odds of her ROB Real Boy Friend not being able to duplicate what gets her there will be increased.

I'm not saying don't ever use one, I'm just saying do what she can do with fingers, palms rubbing etc which her boyfriend, if he's good (and observant) WILL be able to duplicate.

[vashti]

If you're going to disucss this with her then I suggest you tell her to experiment with her own fingers first so that she can bring herself to orgasm without the aid of a vibrating toy. If she gets used to only cumming from a buzzzzer, then It's more likely she'll have a hard time getting off with just ordinary boy parts.

I agree with you. Also, if my daughter is old enough to want an adult toy, she is old enough to pay for it herself.

I am also not "cool" enough to provide hookers for my son.

[MaidenMinx]

I agree with the fingers idea, but don't be surprised if she tells you she's bored of her fingers.

Here in Australia I have seen basic toys in pharmacies and the health section of supermarkets, in the same section as the condoms. See what's available there. Keep it simple and plain.
This might help (google is so handy)

http://www.blogher.com/buying-your-first-vibrator-beginners-guide-best-vibes

[Wakeup]

but don't be surprised if she tells you she's bored of her fingers.

If she's bored with her fingers then she's had some experience with trying to make herself orgasm, in learning what turns her on using natural means. If thats the case then she knows how to show a guy how he can get her there too so a buzz isn't too soon at that point (IMO).

I'd still tell her to buy her own though so telling her about the pharmacy type vibrators (by Trojan for example) seems to be a good idea. Discussing sex and educating our children is important as is them being comfortable enough with us to ask us anything. Asking/telling is one thing but being involved directly in their sexual experiences/growth by purchasing aids for them is quite another... time to let princess do her own shopping... when she's of age. I don't think the sex shops here will even sell to a minor. 18+

[StephRose]

Thank you everyone for thoughts.

I mentioned it here at work yesterday and most tended to agree, if I/we can get over the awkwardness it is a better option than not. Living here in NY I have alot of options. Apparently, according to a co-worker, there is a store designed almost just for women and much less seedy than your typical sex shop.

Talked to my daughter yesterday and we agreed to head there this weekend. They have employees trained to really listen and recommend your best choice. She can deal with the employee as I wander around and avoid the topic.

[smackie9]

I bet she has been already enjoying her fingers and palm since she was 12. She's got 3 years or more under her belt doing it manually.....now she's ready for something different.

[StephRose]

I'd consider myself very lucky if that is all it has gone. She is an amazing daughter in all aspects and is very blessed in her looks as well. She has looked to be in her 20s since she was about 12. Boys have taken notice but she has kept her head down in books, dancing, etc. Couldn't be luckier.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Haven't read the other responses, but you are going to really **** this up if you don't get it for her. She'll probably just start banging dudes.