Should I Play Along Or Take On Aggressive Mode

[TCO]

First, thanks for reading my post. I am looking into a potential long term relationship. Though I use ‘girl’ below, we both are in our early 30’s. The situation I am in is at work. I am the IT guy and she is a teacher. Physically, I am decent looking body-face-wise but about 2-inch shorter than her

I asked her out in Feb of this year and was told she is currently in 9-yr relationship. ‘We are not married but might as well’ she said. Just before that, her friend (female teacher) told me they live separately on their own and the friend said ‘it doesn’t look good’. During my ask-out, she told me ‘We can go to lunch if you like’, meaning she wants to be friends. Anyway, I was tanked.

Months went on and I tried to forget her but I know she was on the back of my mind. By nature, I am not a stalker and I didn’t do anything that would set her off. But I noticed some incidents. Vividly, two times in which I was talking to other female teachers and she was checking both me and my conversation partner. Another time at the end of last school year, she came and asked me whether I be returning next year; she asked me whether I will quit or return. In charter school settings, people work in contractual basis. But all these months, every time she saw me (and me to her), we always said ‘Hey’.

Recently, about 3 weeks ago, I mentioned to her about work-related conversation we exchanged and that I enjoyed that conversation. I am sure she did too. The next day, I saw her and she winked at me. Right after that, she went face-down and didn’t look anywhere else (but laptop screen). In my gut feeling, it is a bit of unusual for her to do winking. I’ve been winked before by other females in the past but they were just being friendly. This wink-thing brought back my old feelings and left me hanging. Sometimes, I wish girls just knock guys off and hurt their feelings so that guys can move on. In my opinion, leaving us hanging is worse.

Ok, enough talking. My questions:
1. What do you think I should do? More specifically, should I take on more aggressive mode (passive approach, not active) or should I play along w/o emotions. The latter is harder for me since I am *already* in emotional mode with her
2. Say I take on aggressive mode, what is the time frame? When should I stop?

I have really good qualities in different aspects but when it comes to this stuff, I am crippled. Thanks again!

TheCrippledOne

[OriginalWogBoy]

The thing is she is still in a 9 year relationship and at this point nothing can come of this. She just likes the attention you give her. Stop wasting your time lad or you will just continue to be left hanging.

[TCO]

Appreciate it. I'll do what you said