Promiscuous?

[Hallihun]

So I'm new here, but needed some place to vent as my personal life is in shambles. The title doesnt describe me, but it sure feels this way.

So a little background about me, I'm a serial dater. Sounds silly, but its true. For someone who is independent, and high achieving in all aspects BUT my love life, I tend to think im an idiot. Why do I have to continuously be in a relationship??? Anyways, throughtout high school, I've had several boyfriends, for fun mostly, but in my final year of school, I met someone who I've dated for a year and a half. I then found out that he cheated on me, and not long after that I was in another relationship with a man much older than me, for another year and a half... that didnt go down well either, turned out he cheated on me too, hmmmphhh... tells you a lot about me eh? It took me a while to get over him, a yr? but the way i got over him was meeting a new guy... which really shouldn't have been the case... but thats how I met my last ex. We dated for 3 years... and we were planning to get married. Stupidly thinking he is the one, in fact, I could describe him as my soulemate. Honest man, very sincere, and literally my other half. Unfortunately for us, its your typical romeo and juliet scenario where our families just couldn't handle it and made life difficult for us. We did try a lot, but the more we wanted it the more we rose against our parents the more we fought each other... so we mutually agreed that it wasnt getting anywhere... was a good call then, not so much now. Its been a year and a half since our break up... fine, i thought, Im better than that, better than pleading his family for acceptance... I got busy with uni, and just focused on my career. After graduation... I went on holiday with my bestie, and let all loose. We partied everyday and night, and it was just insane. I think I ended up with at least 15 guys over a period of 6 weeks!!! No regrets tho, i was having the time of my life. That holiday just changed my life, and I thought to myself, allow serious relationships!!!

I've moved to a new place now for work, with my new identity of a party animal. Every week, my colleagues and I would go clubbing, and every week, I'd end up making out with someone but managed to stop and get myself home before things got crazy. I've got a reputation now, and I'm not sure Im happy about it, but oh well! So now for the real issue, last friday, I met this amazing man at the club, he is a friend of a colleague. And unlike the typical drunken make out session, we spoke a lot, and then left the club to walk down the Pier. There was a bit of romance there, and I just felt the affection of a man again, and it made my tummy curl. I invited him over, as it was getting too cold outside, and we spent the night together. When we woke up in the morning, I wasn't expecting much, but he was so gentle and subtle with me that I couldn't get him off my mind after he left. Lucky for me, he actually messaged me a few hours later... and i thought wow, this might be going somewhere. I got excited all of yesterday and today, and Im so desperate to see him again. He just ticked all the boxes. Although, in the long term, we would face a lot of issues, mainly cultural and religion, but for now, he seems to be a great lad. In his texts, he told me I was sexy, and that Im a great person to talk to, and I blatantly thought the same of him, he told me he'd definitely want to get together again when he comes up next to visit. And that made me feel like Im not just a one night stand...!

Today, I decided to initiate the text. I asked him how he was, he replied 4 hours later (ohhh the agony of waiting!). He asked if i've recovered from friday night, and I told him bluntly, that I cant stop thinking of him. Pathetic i know, but its true. I mean look at me getting advice now on this forum! He replied to apologise, said that he did have a good time, and loved my company, but he cant see us progress as we live in different parts of the country, and with our busy jobs, its just not gonna work out. He did mention however, that he would love for us to stay friends. I felt so down after that, although my reply was a laugh and said of course i'd love to be friends, and that he should let me know when he is up here again. I just feel so down right now, and so disappointed in myself for falling for romance again and wanting romance again as opposed to my casual flings! I don't know what to do, why couldnt he have just been an ass and I'd get over it instantaneously. I really felt the chemistry, and I thought he felt it too, I understand his reasonings, but I wish he could just give it a go. I dont know what Im saying right now, or what I want to hear from you guys, but I really needed an outlet and have posted it here. How can I get over something that never started? I never had a problem with my flings, but why cant I get over him? How can I get over him?

[iamaninnocentma]

Give us the facts man. The only people that will read all that are women and gays.