Feel betrayed

[Dead Pegasus]

Hey everyone, I have a problem that I have been trying to deal with and could use some advice.

My ex and I were together for 4 years and I was madly in love with her. I separated from her at the beginning of the year because I felt we weren't going anywhere. I wanted to start a family and move in together. I also felt I was holding our relationship together and putting in 90% of the effort.

I broke up with her but I still really loved her.

She now has a new boyfriend. I knew this would happen and it would be painful. But its worse than that

It seems she met him 6 months before the end of our relationship at her workplace. Her working relationship with this man ended 4 months before we separated but she kept contact with him and I didn't even know he existed.

I feel betrayed and totally foolish.

I don't quite know how to deal with this. I feel like everything I knew was a lie and she used me.

Sorry for the long post. Any advice or experience would be much appreciated.

[Cerby]

I can understand why you might feel betrayed, but in reality, this has nothing to do with betrayal.

You dumped her while you still liked her after 4 years because it wasn't working. She is now dating someone else, whether she knew him before you broke up or not, it really doesn't matter now. You were together for 4 years, so I doubt she was using you either, unless you have something to back that up.

Getting hurt sucks, but you'll get over it.

[basilandthyme]

I can't see that she used you. All I'm seeing is that you ended things, so she moved on and formed a relationship with someone she already knew.

[Dead Pegasus]

Thanks for the replies. I guess from what I said I would think the same and at first I did think this was happening.

But the more I seem to dig the worse it seems to get. She was keeping secrets from me while we were together and she started lying about where she was going or who she was meeting.

I know this because on two occasions she said she was out with her sister or her best friend and it wasn't true. Her sister said she knew nothing about it when I asked her and my ex changed the story on me and said she didn't invite her because she changed her mind. But i genuinely trusted her so I believed her. Now it seems very suspicious.

She also created a secret facebook profile and hid it from me. I know they were friends on facebook but i was totally oblivious.

I don't know if she was cheating. I still can't bring myself to think that was true. But there was definitely something suspicious happening. It hurts to think about but I can't seem to stop.

[Boisdevie]

Who cares what she did. It's over. Move on and stop being a dick.

[Fruitsss]

the fact is, its over between u and her. so move on/\\

look at the goods and bad stuff and tell yourself that u can better be single now then fooled for some more years, and itwas just a slut.

[Dead Pegasus]

the fact is, its over between u and her. so move on/\\

look at the goods and bad stuff and tell yourself that u can better be single now then fooled for some more years, and itwas just a slut.

You're right. She's not worth spending any more time thinking about.

Good thing is that i'm not single at the moment and am seeing a great girl now. Just finding out all this stuff this week has dredged up old memories and bad feelings.

Cheers!

@ Boisdevie - I was asking for advice and your language is totally unnecessary. There seems to be only 1 person being a dick in this thread and it's not me.

[Cerby]

This is the unfortunate state of this forum.