is there something wrong with my guy??

[kimi86]

I am in relationship with a guy for 3 years now and its been great.But... He is always too strong and never shows his weak side.. I mean he is very strong minded and very practical.. very patient.. never looses this temper(remains quiet when he is angry)... I have never seen him vulnerable.. I have male friends and they all open up to me .. but my boyfriend never does.. He is never ever sad or low enuf to need any consolation or a small hug for me.. Ofcourse there are times when he is low and I know that because I know whats going on in his life.. But he doesnt seem to need my support emotionally ... I wonder if there is anything wrong?? and can i do anything to loosen him up a bit??

[Wakeup]

I have male friends and they all open up to me .. but my boyfriend never does..

and that's why you didn't friendzone him like the rest of the men in your life. You were attracted to his masculinity and now you want to change him into your girlfriend. Why?

[kimi86]

oook.. but now i am ready for his weaknesses as well.. he needs to vent it out somewhere

[VincenzoG91]

Sounds like an old-fashioned manly man. Nothing wrong with him, and trying to change him into somebody else is unhealthy. Accept him as he is or break up with him.

[thebloodycoon]

I totally agree with the advice that you should not try or force him to change about that particular matter. That's just the way the man is and there isn't some really big need for him to change, if you think about it.

[thirdofsix]

the best thing to do is to make sure he knows that you're there for him if he needs you, but accept the fact that he just might never need to vent. some people are good at dealing with their problems by just remaining calm and giving it some thought.

[Boisdevie]

What is it with women. You get a man because there's stuff about him that you like. Then you start to want him to change to suit you. Listen honey, he's dealing with stuff in his own way. If the way that HE deals with HIS problems isn't good enough for YOU then end it and save the poor guy a lot of hassle.

[basilandthyme]

You've been given great advice so far.

Your guy is who he is. It's up to you to either accept him for who he is or move on. Quite frankly, I think you should be grateful that he's not needy.

[HeartIsAching]

Yeah... don't spend the next 20 years changing him. Then you'll be back on here complaining that he's not the man you married.

[Sixpacj]

and that's why you didn't friendzone him like the rest of the men in your life. You were attracted to his masculinity and now you want to change him into your girlfriend. Why?

Hahahaha good.... because of penis envy most probably... Why do women do it, why do you think? To make him feel, at least sometimes, like she feels most of the time?

[vashti]

He is always too strong and never shows his weak side.. I mean he is very strong minded and very practical.. very patient.. never looses this temper(remains quiet when he is angry)... I have never seen him vulnerable..

Aww, jeez. Do you spend ALL your time looking for problems that don't exist? Stop it!

[searock]

I actually see the OP's point... she doesn't want him to become a crybaby or something, she is just asking for more emotional intimacy. Which I think is a huge part in any healthy relationship. I love a guy who is strong and masculine with everybody else, but sometimes emotionally opens up with me.

It's one thing to appear emotionless and controlled with strangers or even friends, but when in a committed, loving relationship, a guy and a girl (or guy and guy and so on) should feel safe enough to open up with each other. Maybe he just hasn't reached that point yet, maybe he will never reach it with her, or maybe he hasn't experienced anything that made him feel extremely sad (or whatever) since he's been with her. Or maybe he's afraid that she won't like him as much anymore, if he opens up with her.

I agree with the fact that she shouldn't try to change him (which she never mentioned, btw, she was just asking for info as to why he is like that).

[Fruitsss]

Hmmm, everyone have feelings . and everone deal with them differently.

So maybe he have them but he hides them cause of things he have been true as a child .
So he use that way to protect himself. or grew up learning that a men doesnt show when he is sad.

Emotions need a way to get out of our system. So if he dont have any of that i would be afraid of him.
Cause people like that are a walking time bomb , that may explode one day for all the pain and sadness of all those years and situations. And how they will explode may be horrible with what ever consequences.

If he have learn to block his feelings cause of horible things he have been true, u cant make him be normal sudanly.
he needs years of therapy to get back to normal.
but anyways what u can do is talk to him about it. and ask him why he doesnt show it. and that its okay to show them its all a normal feeling everyone have.

And often when someone feel save with their partner they will show their feelings automatically.
and also talk about it . so u cant force that.

[Fruitsss]

Or maybe u just want him to be the way u saw the males in your family act.
If he have his own way of get his emotions out , its not a big problem.

if he never gets them out ...........i would be concerned. but first u have to know if he really dont get them out.

[smackie9]

Just another silly female feeling she isn't being loved enough and needs some grand gestured to show that her man can't live without her....**thumbs down**