Why can't I forget her?

[atraxus]

I have a problem I am just not able to find a solution to , and it's been haunting me for years. Way back in1965, when I was just 16 years old, I met a girl of 14 who I absolutely worshipped. We had so much fun together all that spring and summer, but later that year we had an argument and I said some hurtful things which brought the relationship to an end. I bitterly regretted saying what I'd said, but the damage was done and we never got back together again. I have never seen that girl since, but the guilt I felt at the ending of that relationship I still carry with me to this day. In February 2010 I found out that the husband of this girl, or rather woman, had sadly died. I felt that I needed to express my condolences and contacted her father asking if he would be kind enough to pass on my sympathy on her sad loss. A short time later her father got back to me and told me that his daughter remembered me but, in her words, " she didn't want to bother." I have bowed to her wishes and not got in touch with her, and I now know that I never will. I think about this girl/woman all the time, perhaps because I still carry the guilt of the break up of the relationship all those years ago. I am happily married and there is no question of my marriage being at risk because I am not looking to revive the past, but I would just like some sort of closure after all these years. If anyone can provide me with advice I really would appreciate it.

[searock]

Have you considered therapy?

[Little delights]

Im sorry to hear your going through this, but this was a while ago. She has moved on from that situations years back. Ever heard of the saying, time heals all wounds? You guys broke up fro a reason, haven't spoke for years for a reason, and thats how it should be. Just let it go, you have an amazing wife who you should devote your time to, not thinking about a past gf of yours.

[Wakeup]

I have bowed to her wishes and not got in touch with her, and I now know that I never will.

Then there is your closure. You should, if you've not got some mental deficiency, be able to completely let this go now. No offence however: I would have been totally creeped out that after all these years you were still able to find me, know that a love one of mine had died and that you were contacting my relatives about me.

Freaky shit that! Time to forgive YOURSELF and get on with your life guilt free. She doesn't care about what happened all those years ago and neither should you.

[AnnonymousMan]

lol this reminds me of one of my ex's. I was 16 and she was 14 ironically. Our relationship ended when she had to move to another state which devastated me. To this very day I still think about her sometimes. You don't need therapy as searock claims. My situation ended when I contacted her on facebook a year ago and basically brought everything up and we talked for a few hours. This helped a great deal in my situation. As for yours, I am not sure. Sounds like you want to reignite things you once had with her which won't even work considering you are in love with the 14 year old version of her.

[lylufy]

Look at your happy family now and put your guilty deepest in your soul !
Sometime the imagine or regret feeling occur and make you feel confuse, you face with it, talk to yourself "it is past. It did closure".
Do you want to break your great family because of your regret feeling with the person who died ?
Try to control your weak ! You're a husband , a father and must have responsibility with its happiness.