Ladies, I need a complete makeover..

[Love'sReject]

That's...not how it works, you newb...

What do you intend to attract people with then? You have to pull people in with something and so far, you've labeled yourself ugly, you think being confident is negative, you don't want to be funny, and you are constantly negative.

And you wonder why you don't get dates...what aspect of your being are they supposed to be drawn to upon meeting you, exactly?

A) I'm not a fake B) I have taste C) Girls always say they like a well-read guy but they always go with semi-literate bro douchebags D) I'd treat them with respect, which is actually a fault because kindness is pretty boring according to most girls

[basilandthyme]

There are many reasons my husband and I are together....sense of humour is just one of them. We don't marry someone because of just one facet of their personality.

Yes, my husband makes me laugh. And he's also got a zillion other things which I love about him. If he was funny but the rest of his personality sucked, I wouldn't bother with him

[IndiReloaded]

Well, LR. Your choice in the end to flip the switch. Or not. Keep posting, I think it helps you.

[Love'sReject]

You keep mentioning looks. So are you saying that the primary reason someone likes you should be how you look rather than some aspect of your personality?

I didn't realize humor was linked so strongly to appearance. It's funny how no one said, "Being funny makes up for being ugly" but that's where your negative thinking immediately takes you.

I don't think it's shallow to start with physical attraction: a person's ego is strongly linked with their appearance. And it's just natural wiring, a person naturally wants to be physically attracted to a partner..

[Love'sReject]

Well, LR. Your choice in the end to flip the switch. Or not. Keep posting, I think it helps you.

Thanks, Indi. It does help surprisingly: Otherwise, I'd be alone all day and only reading.

Anyway, I'm just really sorry about the things I say but it gets really hard to have this huge barrier in front of me. Now I understand Pink Floyd's "The Wall" completely.

[basilandthyme]

I don't think it's shallow to start with physical attraction: a person's ego is strongly linked with their appearance. And it's just natural wiring, a person naturally wants to be physically attracted to a partner..

there are many older people who still find new love. Their looks have faded, but people are drawn to them nonetheless. How do you explain this?

[HeartIsAching]

When my hubby makes me laugh, it's the biggest turn on. Funny how you get offended and my hubby gets laid.

Bingo. My wife and I were talking the other day, and after a year and a half of (official) marriage, we can't remember a single day that we haven't had a good belly-laugh.

Life is good when you laugh a lot.

[Love'sReject]

Old people are different: they sometimes lower their standards or adjust their preferences in order to find someone to avoid confronting their mortality.

[Hotaru]

A) I'm not a fake B) I have taste C) Girls always say they like a well-read guy but they always go with semi-literate bro douchebags D) I'd treat them with respect, which is actually a fault because kindness is pretty boring according to most girls

You can't prove A fast enough to list it as an asset. B is purely subjective. C is, again, something you can't prove fast enough. D is debatable given the way you talk about women here.

You didn't get what I meant though. Let me try to explain again... Say we're doing our laundry at the same time and you're interested in talking to me...you have only a rather short amount of time to make an impression that will inspire me to continue contact after I leave the laundry room. The qualities you list aren't the ones that grab a person fast, they're things you learn about one another as time progresses. Are you seriously going to introduce yourself and then immediately go into the long list of books you've read, your supposedly superior taste, etc.? That isn't how you meet people, that isn't how you make it to the first date, second date, and beyond.

I don't think it's shallow to start with physical attraction: a person's ego is strongly linked with their appearance. And it's just natural wiring, a person naturally wants to be physically attracted to a partner..

Says the guy who calls himself ugly...what are we supposed to take from this?

What type of girls are you even trying to attract? You can't even keep your own shit straight. You want an in-depth, co-dependent relationship but you want the most important thing to be looks, not personality. Dear God...

[Love'sReject]

You didn't get what I meant though. Let me try to explain again... Say we're doing our laundry at the same time and you're interested in talking to me...you have only a rather short amount of time to make an impression that will inspire me to continue contact after I leave the laundry room. The qualities you list aren't the ones that grab a person fast, they're things you learn about one another as time progresses. Are you seriously going to introduce yourself and then immediately go into the long list of books you've read, your supposedly superior taste, etc.? That isn't how you meet people, that isn't how you make it to the first date, second date, and beyond.

Actually, I wouldn't introduce myself: I'd imagine that would be one of the lamest places to hit on a girl AND I would also imagine you'd be so accustomed to guys doing that that you wouldn't respond positively or even politely reject me.

[Hotaru]

Actually, I wouldn't introduce myself: I'd imagine that would be one of the lamest places to hit on a girl AND I would also imagine you'd be so accustomed to guys doing that that you wouldn't respond positively or even politely reject me.

How is it lame? Are you seriously going to pass up saying hello to a girl because you saw her in the laundry room? My university has 18,000 students, the laundry room may be the only place you'll ever see some of them. Some I would see in passing at the bus stop, some at the library, some walking to class. You can strike up a conversation with anyone almost anywhere and when you think of how easy it is for people to slip through your fingers, you really shouldn't be so hung up on whether the location is cool enough for you or not.

Whether a girl responds positively or rudely should tell you plenty. You keep saying you need a loving relationship, why would you want to be with someone that cold? I've had guys approach me and I've always been friendly. I either express equal interest or I befriend them. The ones who hung around as friends were mature enough to move on and I appreciate it, they're great guys.

[Love'sReject]

I sure would: If it goes badly I'll be completely misconstrued and some girl will say something like "Are you such a lowlife that you think you can find a girl to have sex with in a laundry room? PERV!" and then she calls the campus police.

[Hotaru]

Um, no...just no...

I don't even...there are no words...

[Love'sReject]

Lol, was it a cool story?

Yeah, I imagine I don't have the sheer suave it takes to pull off a really random attempt like that.

[Love'sReject]

Says the guy who calls himself ugly...what are we supposed to take from this?

What type of girls are you even trying to attract? You can't even keep your own shit straight. You want an in-depth, co-dependent relationship but you want the most important thing to be looks, not personality. Dear God...

This is why I figured the caste system is a good one: I don't think I'm attractive so I should either die single or meet someone I'm not physically attracted to at all but having a physical intimacy-less but good loving relationship with.

Actually, I haven't really hoped to attract anyone in a while: I just go on trying to learn new things and try to accept dying alone.