Thinking about the girl I broke up with ALOT

[StartingAgain]

This might be long so please bear with me.

I had a very short but very hot and heavy relationship where everything just went way too fast and we both were kind of stupid and irresponsible about it. At the time we agreed to just roll with it but that was a mistake. We connected on just about every level imaginable but the more I got to know her, there were things about her that I didn't like. My two biggest turnoffs were that she smokes a lot of pot and can be very flaky. She also has a roommate that was WAY too involved in the relationship, which also made me feel uncomfortable.

The day I broke up with her, I initially went over to her place just to have "the talk" but she knew it was coming, did everything she could to dodge it, was playing gossip girl with the roommate most of the time I was there, and because I felt so put off by that I decided to end things. We had a little bit of a "text war" (dumb) over the next week or so and one day she tried calling me like 5-6 times before I finally picked up (only because she called from a friend's number). In her voice, she sounded stoned out of her mind and it was another turnoff but at the same time got me thinking about her again.

Since then, we've talked a couple of times with last night being a very long conversation. She seemed like she was trying to apologize about certain things and/or explain them away but she did it in kind of a roundabout fashion. Aside from that though, we actually just had a normal conversation with a few laughs, a few stories, and maybe the tiniest little tidbit of flirting.

And tonight...I realized that I miss her. I realize that the good things about her outweigh the bad and that I'd like to give her another chance. Her roommate hates me though (for mostly stupid reasons) and because I told the ex that she wasn't what I was looking for at the time I broke things off, I honestly don't know what the best approach would be moving forward and trying to give her that second chance. I also, at this point, don't know where her own interest level's at.

So here I am. Sorry for the long post (at least I gave you all a head's up) but what would some of you gals out there recommend? Thanks in advance and for taking the time to read all of this.

[basilandthyme]

Dude, you're just lonely. The issues won't have gone away - they just seem less severe compared to being alone.

You'll get over this girl and find someone far more suited to you.

[Lissy0404]

If you broke up with her in the first place, means that something didn't work for you or her. Meaning, you just feel lonely. If you want her back, think how far would you go. Do you love her? Do you see yourself with her in the next 10 years? Is she the woman you want to marry? If the answer is no, or I don't know. Then don't call her or look for her again.

[StartingAgain]

You both are probably right. I'd given some thought to whether or not I was genuinely missing *her* or just the *idea* of her. I think it's a little of both.

Thanks for your replies. Maybe I just need more time to sort out how I'm feeling...?