Why do guys feel the need to LIE?!

[MissLili]

I was seeing this guy for 12 weeks. We ended up having a conversation about where we stand etc. He basically said that he gets very busy with work, but he still wants to take things to the next level with me and move forward in our relationship. I was happy to hear that.

So over the next couple weeks we're in touch quite frequently and everything is going well…until one weekend. I told him that I'd love to see him and he says perfect…but he never ends up reaching out to me about hanging out. Finally he calls me on Sunday and tells me he's been so exhausted because of work lately and feels like he doesn't have time to see his family/friends etc. So I told him "I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who I see once every 2 weeks, especially since we live in the same city." He tells me "okay well I don't want to keep disappointing you" etc. So I said "maybe it would be better if we just stay friends." He says "yes, but please don't cut me off or ignore my calls/texts, I still want you to be in my life." So I said fine. We hang up.

I'm livid of course. Why would you say that you want to move things forward with me when in fact you don't? And here's the real kicker.

He spent Valentine's Day with another girl. (He told me he was only seeing me and no one else)

A**hole. I would've LOVED to cuss him out in person, but since we're "over" that didn't make any sense. So I just unfollowed him on twitter (which he noticed because he hit up my friend to see if I was alright). Anyway, I just HATE when a guy takes me for a fool. I swear, this is the kind of sh*t that makes you not want to date. I don't EVER plan on answering his calls/texts again. He can go to hell.

Just had to vent.

[DeanW]

It's not about guys, or girls, its about feelings, human emotions and experiences. I can only guess, he likes to have other girls around him, you, the other one, etc. Some girls do the same. But, lying isnt the a good way to start a relationship or a friendship, I guess he isnt worth it.

[toknow]

Let me make it easier for you girls. If you see the slightest bit of hesitation (and he is not pretending), then he is not interested enough and (with exceptions) you should let it go. It's actually quite simple, we make it complicated.

[ashley89]

he is a dick, just be glad you found this out sooner rather than later. you deserve someone who wants to commit to you and doesn't come up with BS excuses like this guy did. you're smart for wanting to ignore him, he isn't even worth cussing out!

[basilandthyme]

It could well be that he simply changed his mind about you being 'the one'. Changing his mind does not mean that he 'lied' earlier.

And so what if he spent Valentines with another girl? The two of you had already broken up. Why shouldn't he take someone else out?

[smackie9]

He didn't lie to you. He told you he has a very busy life and obviously your expectations he can't fulfill because of it. That's pretty simple. He realizes he can't be there for you the way you want him to be, and accepts that it wouldn't be fair, I'm sure he has been through this before with other girls. Oh well it didn't work out, life is like that. Now you have the opportunity to find someone that is on the same page as you.

You only had 3 months invested in this relationship, that is hardly a commitment. I can see if you were dating for a year and all of a sudden he gets too busy to see you....then you have something to b itch about.

As for him going out on Valentine's Day with another girl.....it doesn't mean he was romantically involved with her, it was just a date, possibly a co-worker grabbing a bit to eat (it was a Thursday night), and who wants to be alone on Valentine's day? You could have done the same am I right?

[smackie9]

From my perspective, he does care about you, but he just can't give you what YOU want in a relationship. Them's the breaks.

[MissLili]

He didn't lie to you. He told you he has a very busy life and obviously your expectations he can't fulfill because of it. That's pretty simple. He realizes he can't be there for you the way you want him to be, and accepts that it wouldn't be fair, I'm sure he has been through this before with other girls. Oh well it didn't work out, life is like that. Now you have the opportunity to find someone that is on the same page as you.

You only had 3 months invested in this relationship, that is hardly a commitment. I can see if you were dating for a year and all of a sudden he gets too busy to see you....then you have something to b itch about.

As for him going out on Valentine's Day with another girl.....it doesn't mean he was romantically involved with her, it was just a date, possibly a co-worker grabbing a bit to eat (it was a Thursday night), and who wants to be alone on Valentine's day? You could have done the same am I right?

Well I know for a fact this girl he was with wasn't just a "date". He's BEEN seeing her. Someone actually told me that he was "hot and heavy" for someone else...he also tweeted that he "loves when a girl cooks for him" on Valentine's Day. So yeah, he can go to hell. His "busy with work" was just an excuse.

[smackie9]

Well where was that piece of information in the first post?

Anyways so you are saying he was SEEING her when you two were together?? yes? or this happened after?

[MissLili]

Well where was that piece of information in the first post?

Anyways so you are saying he was SEEING her when you two were together?? yes? or this happened after?

Yes, he was seeing her while we were dating.

[smackie9]

Here a piece of advice: if you have to ask where you stand in the relationship, or have to ask what direction it is going, that's a red flag and you should be departing.

[smackie9]

Yes, he was seeing her while we were dating.

So sorry it ended up that way. At least you find out now and not years down the road with a ring on your finger.

[KingZ]

Someone actually told me that he was "hot and heavy" for someone else...he also tweeted that he "loves when a girl cooks for him" on Valentine's Day. So yeah, he can go to hell.

I lol'd so hard. There's no way this girl isn't in junior high.

[smackie9]

Welcome to the site, hope you will stick around, we could use more here for advice.

[smackie9]

Oh look the Z-ing troll is back.