Dating an Older Man

[equestrienne]

I'm 22 and I have been acquainted with this man who is around 35 (give or take a couple years - not sure of his exact age) for 4 years. A few months ago, he randomly started joking around with me one day and we have been talking/joking around more and more since then. Several mutual acquaintances have told me that they think he has a thing for me and I get that impression from him too, based on a lot of things he has said and done.

At first I chose to ignore it because of the age difference. However, lately I've been feeling more interested in him. I realize that people develop crushes all of the time and not every crush has to be acted on. I admit the age difference does still bother me a little. I normally do date older guys but the oldest one was only a 6-year difference, not 10-15.

Should I try to put aside my feelings about the age difference and see where this goes? Does anyone have an experience with dating someone considerably older, and if so, how did it work out for you?

[Kromat83]

I usually date someone around my age too and my girl is 4 1/2 years younger then me,
because the maturity and experience in life is similar.

Your still trying to find where you see yourself in the future, while he already has an idea of what he wants.

I think there is a reason why you two are hanging around each other, and if he makes you happy and you both love each other and the maturity is there, and you respect how he treats you, then age is just a number.

How many times have we passed someone up, because they were too old, or too young ?

We don't determine who we love, when we feel something with that person, it happens on its own.

Ask yourself, are you willing to put in the effort to make it work, or is he just too old for you ?

Only you can decide how this relationship develops.

[FlaCooln]

Age is nothing, but a number. I'm 31 and I have dated younger and older than myself. It really depends on maturity. I would be open with him and see if he is looking for more. Put the vibe out there and get a little filrty with him. If he has any sense he will take the hint and ask you out.

Lots of guys like younger women. My ex was 5 years younger then me, but she kinda acted like an old lady and was always tired. The most important thing is to find someone that you can connect with emotionally and physically, regardless of age.

[ashley89]

I know people who are married, the wife is 18 years younger than the husband. it is really up to you and how you feel about this guy, if he treats you right and makes you happy I would go for it. also you said give or take a few years, so he could be younger than you think. it really isn't too big of a deal but you have to make that call

[Rowen]

What you have to remember is that age is but a number labeling your time on this Earth. It in no way decides if you're meant for someone or not. When you can accept that, you can be open to dating many types of people.

The oldest I've dated is 7 years older, but the oldest I've had interest in was 13 years older. While age is typically associated with maturity, I know a number of people in their 40's and 50's who act like teenagers. And I know a few teenagers who act like they're in their 60's. Everyone is different. Just remember that. Age is unfair to judge on.

[Boisdevie]

Two points come to mind:
1. You've been dating for 4 years but you don't know his exact age? Seems a bit wierd that.
2. You've been dating for 4 years but only now you're asking whether the age difference is a deal breaker? Why now and not before?
My own view - he's way way older than you. Like any guy he'd be really pleased to have a nice young woman in his bed. BUT I think such an age difference is way too much.

[vashti]

Don't buy into stupid platitudes about age being "just a number". You never hear anyone saying that once the younger partner hits their 40s.

For the record, not only did I date someone older, I married him. The age difference mattered less in the early days, and more as he got older. The younger person frequently outgrows the older one as they develop into full-fledged adults.

[dickriculous]

Don't buy into stupid platitudes about age being "just a number". You never hear anyone saying that once the younger partner hits their 40s.

For the record, not only did I date someone older, I married him. The age difference mattered less in the early days, and more as he got older. The younger person frequently outgrows the older one as they develop into full-fledged adults.

Hey, don't shit on young women chasing old men! We males need women like OP. Otherwise, who will change our diapers for us when we get too old to control our bowels?

[basilandthyme]

The thing I've noticed when some women date older men is that they cite his 'youthfulness' as what attracted them to him. And then the women outgrow their guy as they mature.

[basilandthyme]

Two points come to mind:
1. You've been dating for 4 years but you don't know his exact age? Seems a bit wierd that.
2. You've been dating for 4 years but only now you're asking whether the age difference is a deal breaker? Why now and not before?
My own view - he's way way older than you. Like any guy he'd be really pleased to have a nice young woman in his bed. BUT I think such an age difference is way too much.

Just for clarity's sake: the OP said they've been aquainted for 4 years. NOT dating for 4 years.

[toknow]

I know you think you are young, but you are not. In no time you are going to be his age. Approaching it with the mindset I'm young and beautiful is the wrong way to go. Find substance in your relationship beyond physical beauty and don't rely on yours. If you like him and you want to spend time with that person, then what is the problem. An advantage is that you will not feel threatened of losing him to women younger than him which happens very often when a woman gets older. Age is temporary.

[Rowen]

This is the first time I've agreed with toknow.

[michelle23]

lol only narcissistic morons trade in their wife for a younger model lmfao-that is not something I will be worried about in 10, 20, 30, 40 years time haha.

As long as you take care of yourself and make an effort to look good and don't turn into a slob-he will still think your beautiful-even with a few wrinkles or an extra 5-10lbs. A man does not expect his wife to be perfect forever-they are realistic you know. We all age-its a fact of life..

[toknow]

I agree it's not right to leave your wife for someone just because they are young and beautiful, but it happens a lot. And note I didn't say it will happen to her, I said she won't worry about it happening to her - she won't have a reason to worry.

michelle23: "...that is not something I will be worried about in 10, 20, 30, 40 years time haha"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have little control over that. You seem very sure about it, but you shouldn't be.

[michelle23]

[QUOTE=michelle23: "...that is not something I will be worried about in 10, 20, 30, 40 years time haha"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have little control over that. You seem very sure about it, but you shouldn't be.[/QUOTE]

If a man leaves me for someone else it is irrelevant who she is, her age, how attractive she is etc etc. I would not see that as a reflection on me. I would see it as a reflection on him and I'm strong enough to get over it, move on with my life and meet someone else who deserves me so no I will not worry about it. I know I have a lot to offer and I don't think my man would get bored of me to be honest. If he did-its his loss