I lost an angel...but should I wait?

**Camolove** · 26-02-13, 07:12 AM

I was in a the most perfect fairy tale relationship for 2 1/2 years. My ex and I were head over heals and we were faithful and spoke about marriage... The last few weeks of my relationship I was going through personal problems and I needed to find myself. I broke up with my ex whenever I wanted her to realize how serious I was about a problem so...for attention(lasted a few hours longest was a few days). The relationship between us was perfect the entire time. I was her first love/relationship and the first person she had sex with. She was my first real love. We had amazing times together but we were help back by her family but I was very patient with her and when my own issues came It was just too much to go to her about. When I left her this time she didn't allow me back.. A week went by and she told me what she wanted was space and for me to figure out things.. at the end of week two an old flame wanted to start JUST a friendship.. I accepted because I was lonely but I kept my boundaries because I had my eye on the prize. My ex and I began to talk but she was cold she was angry I was friends with my old flame and said I lost my chance. I eventually realized my ex had someone who cared for her who was trying to be with her. I told my ex that I was so sorry for the hundreds of texts and calls and I realized that maybe she wanted to move on. She told me that there was someone else but they were just talking and they let them in because I had let my old flame in. We ended up talking about everything and my ex wanted me back so badly she was just afraid and this new person is also a factor...shes confused and I understand why and it was my fault but is it worth waiting.. She doesnt know what she wants to do..if she should go to the person she loves that scares her or go to the person thats new that doesnt even know if they want a relationship with her (they want someone else as well). I feel like I shouldnt be an option and I know that I have to let it run its course because me coming in the middle can cause her to always wonder what if about this person... its only been a month since we have been apart. So my ex is in love with me and her new flame is in love with someone else...it sounds like she entered a rebound relationship thats bound to fail but I shouldnt be an option....

PS

We were engaged...

**rob1984** · 26-02-13, 07:17 AM

if you feel you should not be an option.. then maybe you should not of made her an option.. I think you took her for granted and she wants to move on. I think you deserved what happened to you.. based on you being selfish.. Good luck and hope this is a lesson to you.

**surfhb2** · 26-02-13, 07:28 AM

Yep.....you ****ked up. Lesson learned

**Camolove** · 26-02-13, 07:28 AM

I understand and agree but should I feed her confusion and take a shot at getting her back now?...or should I let her go..allow her to try...and be there if she comes back sometime soon...I'm not ready to date so I'm not missing out of my own possible happiness. I was really good to her as well so I know she cherishes me..but this new person is a new path...we had things set..we are so alike she told me this person is nothing that shes used to and she knows shes not ready to date...and she told me she wishes she could just forgive me and be with me.

**Camolove** · 26-02-13, 07:31 AM

She told me she wanted me to fix my personal issues and come back to her but then allows herself to try someone else?

**Camolove** · 26-02-13, 07:36 AM

Shes not even allowing herself time to hurt...or heal..

**VincenzoG91** · 26-02-13, 07:44 AM

These "perfect fairy tale" relationships never seem to work out. Next time, try to do a better job of communicating, instead of staging break-ups just to get attention.

**Rowen** · 26-02-13, 09:48 AM

The way I see it, what you did is a lot like shooting her in the a$$. She can forgive you and say it's okay, but she's going to feel that pain every time she sits down. So, possibly she'd give you another chance one day, but I wouldn't bet on it, so don't try to get her back.

Instead, see this as a growing experience. You can keep making the same mistakes, or you could learn from it. No offense, but the idea of breaking up to get attention seems a bit overly childish, if you ask me. And what would you have done if you had gotten into a marriage with her? Separated every time you have a problem?

She can try all she wants to "fix" the crap wrong with you, but in the end, it means nothing if you don't make an effort to try-- and not for someone else, but for yourself. Better yourself by learning from this. In the future, love will find you. Now, maybe it's her. Maybe it's another woman. But either way, you'll never know unless you don't change your ways.

**clb12c** · 26-02-13, 10:12 AM

Well first of all, you can't really hold it against her that she asked you to fix your personal problems. You said that you were going through some tough times in your post, which everyone does, and what else is she supposed to do other than wait for you to sort them out if you don't go to her with your problems? She was bound to meet someone else sometime, but I understand that it still hurts.

I personally think that she was right in telling you to sort some things out for yourself. Take some time for yourself to grow. Breaking up with somebody every time that you want to prove something to them is not something that you can do and expect to fly. I don't blame her for wanting time to herself to figure out some things about herself too, especially if you have constantly been leaving her. How would you feel/handle the situation if your positions were reversed? She probably felt as though she was walking on eggshells.

I think that you should give her time and give yourself time. Use that time to get yourself sorted out and meet new people. She will and IS doing the same thing and maybe that is for the best. Don't hold that against her. If, in time, both of you want to talk about getting together then go for it! But until then, don't pressure her. Especially when it comes to this new guy. Even if you end up getting back together she will probably resent the fact that she didn't get to "test the waters" and you're right in thinking that she will always wonder "what if?" And who knows? Maybe you'll find that you aren't ready to be in a relationship right now either, which is also perfectly okay!

I hope this helped, and good luck!

**michelle23** · 26-02-13, 09:18 PM

lesson: dont break up with someone for attention, dont talk to an old flame while "patiently waiting" for her to come back, dont sit here feeling sorry for yourself now that she has moved on.

This is all your own faiult

**pcmaster** · 26-02-13, 11:44 PM

From positive side you needed time for yourself to sort out your problems and now you have this time. So instead of focusing what you are missing focus on what you have. Im sure you will get your GF back, its been only a month so its not too late.

However if you look at PositiveSimona on youtube "how to solve a problem" it will help you bigtime with your GF.

**Boisdevie** · 27-02-13, 12:20 AM