So, an update to my situation...me and my bf are on a break. Originally he said I was controlling and didn't like what he saw, but I think there are a lot of other issues too...

He's 35. His dad died when he was 22. He became responsible for the family, taking care of his mom and sister financially. He didn't finish college and has taken care of the family business since his dad passed. We have been talking a bit more about this "break" and he's said he resents his life and how it's turned out...he's mad that he never addressed being unhappy before. He's angry because this isn't want he wanted (the family business) and after having met me he realized that he wanted a different future for himself. I was the first girl he brought home to mom, so he's been with many other girls, just never serious until me. He feels he's responsible for his mother's livelihood, though she isn't sick and he has a sister. I think she keeps him feeling guilty so that he is afraid to let go. For example, she said at one point maybe she should off herself and make everyone's life easier. He was very upset when he told this to me and I just think it's so unfair how she has treated him over the years, and though I haven't said much about it, I think this could be him coming to a realization?

He wants this break to really think about things. In his words he needs to really think about if we can solve problems together, if we can be happy together, and if he can be positive about his changes in his future. He says he was sorry for leaving me in the dark by not communicating to me when he should have. I told him I could understand why he's so overwhelmed because he's addressing everything in his life not just us. His response is that everything revolves around us.

Of course over the time we haven't been talking or seeing each other I've reflected over my behavior and I've come to grips that I have been a bit demanding, and that at times I think my way is the better/correct way and I just didn't let him live with the decisions he made.

I guess this post is more of a vent then looking for advice. I know all I can do is give him his space to figure things out. I've set myself (without his knowledge because he didn't have a timeline) a date to how long I will allow him to figure things out. We've agreed to not date people since we're only on a break and he still feels that I'm his gf. It's so difficult for me because I feel like I'm a problem solver (which is a bit controlling I guess) But I know that I can't solve this problem for him...it's tough letting go. But perhaps we're just at really different points in our lives and he needs to figure out what path in life he wants.

Comments are welcomed