I am in an extremely complicated situation with a guy and no we are not dating.

[Titania]

Hey guys!

So I am a female, 18 and there is guy that I am into, who is male 24.

First off I'd like to know if you think this kind of relationship would even work? I have my doubts but I just can't stand the thought of not being with him. He is 6 years senior to me and just started working at the beginning of the year, whereas, I have recently gotten out of high school last year June and am already doing my Pre-U. Basically we are both in entirely different stages of our lives.

Putting the age difference aside. I've known him for about a year and a half now and I've had feelings for him for about 10 months now. He basically started the fire if you ask me because he would flirt with me last time and me being an introvert would usually just shut him down. But, he kept at it. Either flirting is in his genes or he liked me that much.

I only started responding to his flirtations after 4 months. We flirt like crazy. But the thing is we could only talk once a week because we meet up at a social event every saturday so I have absolutely have no alone time with him other than chatting him up in the virtual world (facebook, texting, calling, and the occasional skyping).

To make it worse there are times when I can't talk to him for 2 weeks, sometimes a month and the longest being 2 months because I am sitting for a very intense course of which I need my extreme focus on. So usually I would stop talking to him and kinda go incognito but when he chats me up I do reply. He once asked why I didn't chat him up for awhile. I told him I was busy with exams. From there he just didn't chat me up at all.

Recently I have gone incognito again and it's been two weeks now and not a peep from him. He did ask me when my exams are all going to be over. I told him in June.

Infact, when I gave him the excuse of me being busy, which was in January 2013,I did not see him until March 2013 after that and the first thing that he said to me was, "Someones been so busy these days." Jokingly.

Also after that, the flirting is kinda low compared to normal which is actually really disappointing for me.

What I want to know is this:

Do you think it's wise to not communicate to him until my exams are over? Which is from now till June.
Do you think he is waiting for me?

Also, he hasn't really confessed to me. He kinda did but that was in June 2012. He said, "If you're into me I'd go for you" and I kinda just laughed thinking it was a joke *face palm*. But he keeps asking me who I like whenever he has the chance and to be honest I don't really want to be the one to confess first. I keep giving him hints. OBVIOUS hints that it is he who I fancy but he just acts like a block head! And when I ask him if he likes anyone he says; "nope".

^This fact makes me doubt if he really likes me or is just playing around.

In conclusion, I'd like to know:
-Is the age difference going to be a big deal?
-Is there a chance that he is waiting for me?
-Should I stay incognito or should I chat him up? I know for a fact that even if I do, he'd reply but he wouldn't get back to me after that-this I am pretty sure of.
-Should I just tell him that I am into him?

PS: He only has one ex-girlfriend. When he was 17 and it lasted for two and a half years. He has been single ever since. Just thought this info might be helpful (though not sure how it is going to be helpful)

And I myself have never had a boyfriend. I am too mature for my own good and I am looking for a serious relationship.

PPS: I have had feelings for other guys before but this guy...the connection is just so very different.

PPPS: If this post has too little information please do let me know. I am trying to summarise things. It's a very long story. If you prefer I give the details from head to toe I would, unless of course you can guide me from here, that'd be great. Thanks!

[SModfan84]

The age difference is only a big deal if it bothers either of you. I have a friend that's married to a girl that's 13 or 14 years younger than he is (I don't remember exactly how old she is, sorry, but I know it's either 13 or 14 year age difference). So, if it bothers either of you then it will probably be an issue at some point. But from what you've said it doesn't seem like either of you are bothered by it so I wouldn't worry about the age difference.

Is he waiting for you? That's hard to say. Personally, it sounds like he is. But that is just my guess and could be completely wrong.

I would stop being incognito, at least once in a while anyways. Going long periods of time without talking to him will probably make him think that you aren't interested. Which may cause him to not wait for you. Exams are important and you shouldn't put those off or not focus on them. But, if you're really interested in the guy then I'd at least get online and chat with him once a week or something, even if it's just a quick 10 minute chat. From a guy's perspective, it's just nice to know that you want to talk to us every now and then

Should you tell him that you're into him? Some guys don't pick up hints well (or at all) no matter how obvious they may be. I am one of those guys. So, it could be beneficial to just come right out and tell him how you feel. He might think that you're not interested from the fact that you told him you were busy and then go weeks without talking to him. So, telling him exactly how you feel would eliminate any doubt on his end about how you feel. It's a risk putting yourself out there like that, but it could be worth it in the end.

Also, him saying no when you ask him if there's anyone that he likes. I wouldn't take that to mean he's not interested. He may just not want to come right out and say that he likes you because he's afraid that you might not feel the same way about him.

Again...these are all just my personal opinions. I'm by no means a relationship expert. But, thought it might be helpful for you to get a guys perspective on the situation Good luck!

[pcmaster]

Basicaly I dont see anything dificult here. Its still the easy part, you both havent even get together yet. You both should be more open. Guy is pretty good. He tried a lot and get to hear that you like him.

You asked does he likes someone. Better answer would be to question - Do you like me?
However obiously that he is atracted at some level cause investing time and chasing a girl cant leave a guy cool.
Answering to your questions -

1. Yes its going to be a big deal, from negative and positive side too.
2. There is a big chance
3. I think it would be nice to see some inicative from your side
4 If you want make things simplier than yes tell him.


I have some questions too

1. Have you met him in real life?
2. How far apart are you living from eachother?
3. Is there any other guys hitting at you right now?
4. Have you always been nice to him and responded to him?

[toknow]

LOL...I really don't get it. You show him you don't care to talk to him and expect him to keep at it? Don't expect anything from him, but to completely stop talking to you. Why should he, if he sees you have no interest in him. He probably thinks he annoys you, the way you are acting.

Why do people do this - act this way and expect a completely opposite reaction of what's natural. Doesn't make any sense to do that.

And about the age difference. Since men in general age more gracefully then women, chances are by the time you are 40, he'll look younger than you. 6 years is not a big deal at all, especially if you realize how far behind in maturity generally guys your age are, compare to you.

[basilandthyme]

Considering that you're pushing away so that you can study, I don't know why you're disappointed that he hasn't contacted you. Isn't having no interruptions from him the aim of your agenda?

He might be a little interested.....but if another girl comes along and she doesn't push him away, he'll probably lose interest. Let's face it, June is a long time away.

If you want him as a boyfriend, stop pushing him away. And 18-24 is fine if both of you are OK with it.

[Titania]

I have some questions too

1. Have you met him in real life?
2. How far apart are you living from eachother?
3. Is there any other guys hitting at you right now?
4. Have you always been nice to him and responded to him?

1. Yes I have met him in real life.
2. Same city
3. Yes there are
4. I have always been nice to him and responded to him

LOL...I really don't get it. You show him you don't care to talk to him and expect him to keep at it? Don't expect anything from him, but to completely stop talking to you. Why should he, if he sees you have no interest in him. He probably thinks he annoys you, the way you are acting.

Hmm well I guess I haven't really portrayed how our relationship is going too well. I've never showed that I don't care. I've told him I missed him before. In fact, whenever I get the chance, I show that I care, alot. I show plenty of interest in him.

It's just that lately we only seem to speak to each other once in two weeks on average.

I've never ignored him and I have made the effort to talk to him. Maybe the fact that we don't communicate with each other enough is because we both think we are too busy. At least that was his excuse when I ask why I hadn't heard from him in awhile.

Considering that you're pushing away so that you can study, I don't know why you're disappointed that he hasn't contacted you. Isn't having no interruptions from him the aim of your agenda?

This is true, I deserve a slap for this. I shouldn't be disappointed but I am. It's hard when you can't stop thinking about the person I guess....

He might be a little interested.....but if another girl comes along and she doesn't push him away, he'll probably lose interest. Let's face it, June is a long time away.

That is my biggest fear, I know it is a long way. Pushing away is not my intention. Never told him to stop communicating just said I was busy. But I guess it does sound bad.

If I could I'd do my best to keep in touch but truth be told, I am still living under my parents roof and they have old-fashioned mentality. I am under high control as sad as it is. Two words, Indian Parents.