Originally Posted by
holdingon
I feel like a selfish person to walk away from someone who i feel adores me
Actually you're being very selfish by staying. You enable him to be the unmotivated, unemployed drug addict that he is by staying. Why would he change anything when you're micro-managing and caretaking him while he continues to be the shiftless bastard that he is?
but im sick of feeling like im doing it all on my own.
That's because you are doing it all on your own.
Truly- i resent him, i love him but i do resent him. I resent him for not trying to lift the financial burden off of me, for not caring about himself enough to quit smoking weed, for not having ambitions in life and for being a weight on my shoulders. I love and care about him and dont want to see him unhappy- but i just simply cannot do this anymore. Am i just being selfish for expecting more from him when he tells me everyday he cherishes my love for him.
Love isn't enough. You need to leave him and let him grow.
You should join Al-anon to learn about codependency and enabling and how to detach and stop the need to caretake. He's got a drug addiction. You have an addiction as well that being codependency.
http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/codependency.htm
Start there ^^^ and work on you so that you educate yourself which will lead you to have the strength to leave and let him grow into a decent member of society. If he's too far gone to want to be a decent member of society then that's his burden to bear not yours. Google for an al-anon meeting near you.
Good luck, holdingon.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion