Girlfriend goes to party with a friend

[afroman]

So, the other night, my girlfriend and I got into an argument.

We were both bored on a saturday night watching television. I really wanted us to go out to a party that night with our friend who was in town, but she started whining about it saying "I thought we were gonna stay in tonight, you can go though".. I was kind of annoyed by her so I said "okay, I'm gonna go then".. She then started getting mad, I told her I was going to leave cause she was getting mad now, then she shoved me. I just left.

5 minutes later she's telling me she's going to a rave with this guy (this guy has a bad rep in our friends group for trying to get anyones' girlfriend to sleep with him).. I got pissed and told her she couldn't go cause we both know that guy's a sleezebag (I don't mind her hanging out with male friends, but this guy has all ready tried to step in the middle of our relationship in the past)... Then she went on to call me a schizophrenic blah blah blah insecure..

Later on that night He tried to have sex with her. He asked her, he gave her MDMA too and they both went to a party. I was so furious at this point. I called him up and told him to stay out of my life for now on and to stay out of hers too..


Luckily my girlfriend told me about this, but now she's all pissed that I don't want her hanging out with him anymore. How can she not see that this kid's a piece of crap and not a friend? Friends don't attempt to ruin relationships. She's telling me I'm overly paranoid and probably schizophrenic. I know I'm not because I've been in relationships in the past where I was totally content and happy.

I tried to break up with her, but she kept crying and clinging to me. But she wanted to continue hanging with this guy. It's not that I don't trust her, it's just that her judgement is so skewed and I seriously think that this guy is going to take advantage of her one of these days. If a girl ever tried to ruin our relationship I would immediately cut all contact with them and avoid them like the plague.. Purely out of respect so that my partner doesn't become paranoid.

After this whole ordeal I DO feel overly paranoid and feel like my girlfriend is walking all over me. I really do trust her in saying she hasn't cheated because we still have great sex and she's still lovey dove, but I honestly think I am going to kick this guy's ass if he tries to contact my girlfriend one more time and would rather not deal with jail time and paying for his surgery.

I don't think I'm being overly paranoid at all. This guy has made this mistake multiple times in the past (with a past girlfriend) and I have tried to restore trust in him. Now I just can't.

[Wakeup]

Ugh. Break up with her and then leave so she can't cling and you don't have to see her crying. Who cares if you're paranoid or not. Your relationship with this girl is a mess of dysfunction and your gf is a manipulative doucheprincess.

[HeartIsAching]

Well, you don't trust her, and you are insecure, but it sounds as if you have reason.

[afroman]

Well, you don't trust her, and you are insecure, but it sounds as if you have reason.

This same guy came in the middle of my last relationship, I forgave him for it and he promised not to do it again, but he did. I do trust her, I just don't trust these guys who have an ulterior motive to their friendship.

[michelle23]

Ditch both of them. It sounds like your relationship is stressful anyway even without the douche causing trouble between you. And your excuse "what if he takes advantage of her" is BS. Shes a grown woman with her own mind. If she cheats-its her fault-not his.

Anyway I dont think you should be together. Shes calling you nasty names, making you feel bad and refusing to cut contact with this loser who asked her for sex. If she wont let you dump her in person-do it by text and get on with your life.

I wonder how old you both are? It sounds very immature and childish to me that you cant even agree whether to stay in together or go out without having an insane argument that results in all this ridiculous drama.

[HeartIsAching]

This same guy came in the middle of my last relationship, I forgave him for it and he promised not to do it again, but he did. I do trust her, I just don't trust these guys who have an ulterior motive to their friendship.

No, you don't. He doesn't control her, she does. If you trusted her, you'd trust her to not **** this guy. But that's alright, you've GOT reason to distrust her.

[afroman]

Ditch both of them. It sounds like your relationship is stressful anyway even without the douche causing trouble between you. And your excuse "what if he takes advantage of her" is BS. Shes a grown woman with her own mind. If she cheats-its her fault-not his.

Anyway I dont think you should be together. Shes calling you nasty names, making you feel bad and refusing to cut contact with this loser who asked her for sex. If she wont let you dump her in person-do it by text and get on with your life.

I wonder how old you both are? It sounds very immature and childish to me that you cant even agree whether to stay in together or go out without having an insane argument that results in all this ridiculous drama.

I'm 23 and she's 24. I know if she cheats it's her fault not his, but this guy also throws drugs and booze around like it's candy.
I tried explaining to her yesterday how I think we should break up because this relationship is too stressful to me. I told her that I still cared for her but I just need some time to be comfortable in my own skin, then she gives the "I don't want to leave you though I just want you to be happy". I keep telling her that the reason why I'm unhappy is because I feel nervous about her hanging with guys like this and it makes me feel like I'm not enough for her. This is where the "schizophrenic" and other crap come in. And I KNOW for a FACT I am not schizophrenic or overly paranoid, because I dated another girl for a few months before her and she had plenty of guy friends, but also had great judgement of character and didn't befriend creepy guys like this turd.

[michelle23]

Shes manipulating you "I want you to be happy". If she meant that she wouldn't be calling you nasty names, saying you are schizophrenic etc and she would stop hanging out with this guy when she knows it upsets you.

When you are in a relationship-neither of you should be hanging one on one with anyone of the opposite sex or doing date like activities with others. That is crossing a line and it does quite often lead to cheating so you have every right to be concerned. Dont let her make you feel like your crazy-your not.

You need to break up with her so you can have a healthy relationship with someone who has the same morals, values, beliefs etc as you do and who has enough respect for you and empathy for your feelings to at least try and put herself in your shoes and understand where you are coming from.

It is disrespectful and hurtful for her to call you names also. I call my bf names when we are joking around and he does the same but never in an argument..

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Dump her. Be mean about it. Tell her you don't love her and never did. If you still can't shake her, tell her you cheated on her.

[Wakeup]

I actually agree with that ^^^ bastardly advice this time around. His chick makes my inner cat-fight emerge. C*** that she is.

It also makes me want to bitchslap Op for putting up with her shit and saying bollocks like: "I can't leave her because she cried?" Did she hang onto your pant leg too. pffft.

*reads post back* I'zzz in a mood!

[afroman]

Ugh, he's still texting her telling her "Your boyfriend's taking his anger out on me.". I'm pissed that she hasn't told him to f*ck off all ready. She says she pitys him, I kind of believe her and I pity him too, but that hasn't kept me from telling him to screw and get a life. I would've if some crazy chick was hitting me up (actually have blocked a girl on facebook who was doing this to me). I have come to terms that it is not in my position to tell my girlfriend what to do anymore. I told her if it bothers her too much then it might be appropriate to tell him to stop annoying her. If she refuses to do that, then she just has to deal with his harassing texts because I'm not stepping in the middle of them and ending their friendship. I feel like such a bitch saying this but I guess it makes me insecure and crazy if I advise otherwise.

I want to kick his ass since he hasn't shut his mouth all ready but that would just be INSECURE wouldn't it? It's wrong to be mindful of my own feelings THAT'S SO SELFISH. I guess I'll just put up with it and BE A MAN.

(And to poster WakeUp, she has actually PHYSICALLY clinged on to me when I tried to walk away from her).

I just decided to not take everything too seriously. And to just let it be. I really don't care anymore. If she wants to keep this guy around as a friend, so be it. I'll just man up and deal with it. In the meantime, I'm just going to focus on the few nice things I have in life and hangout with my friends. If she wants to hangout with bozo alone and have him creep on her all the time, so be it. If she winds up jumping ship to this guy, so be it. Nothing I can do about it except stay happy and content with myself.

[afroman]

Crack this wanks jaw, kick her ass on the street, and get a PS3.

I all ready have the PS3 so I'm breaking ground lol.. I honestly don't think she's a bad person, just not my type I guess. We had a great (sometimes not so great) friendship before we dated. It's stupid to get pissed over this, I just need to let it go and move on.

[toknow]

No one here seems to realize you are talking about drugs. She is in control? HAHAHA... If that's the case, so is driving a car with no steering wheel.
If he slips something in her drink, how is she in control.

And this is a one strike and you are out deal, why did you remain friends with this guy.

You are smart to feel this way, completely justified to feel unsure about the situation.

If you could fully trust any of her guy friends with your girlfriend, you would be a fool.

People need to realize there is no such thing as trusting a friendship between opposite sexes or the sex of attraction.
It's completely foolish to disregard the most basic reason why the human race continues to exist. It would be the same as disregarding the most basic principle of your own existence.

[TablesandChairs]

So being friends with this guy (who you have described as a creep and a loser and who has betrayed you in the past) is more important to her than you? Okay. Does she not have any other friends? I wouldn't hang out with some loser who splashes drugs around whether I had a partner or not. She feels sorry for him - why? Tell her that if she wants to feel sorry for people, to volunteer for some charity and do some good.

Eh, her priorities are skewed. Stick to the PS3.

[michelle23]

Ugh, he's still texting her telling her "Your boyfriend's taking his anger out on me.". I'm pissed that she hasn't told him to f*ck off all ready. She says she pitys him, I kind of believe her and I pity him too, but that hasn't kept me from telling him to screw and get a life. I would've if some crazy chick was hitting me up (actually have blocked a girl on facebook who was doing this to me). I have come to terms that it is not in my position to tell my girlfriend what to do anymore. I told her if it bothers her too much then it might be appropriate to tell him to stop annoying her. If she refuses to do that, then she just has to deal with his harassing texts because I'm not stepping in the middle of them and ending their friendship. I feel like such a bitch saying this but I guess it makes me insecure and crazy if I advise otherwise.

I want to kick his ass since he hasn't shut his mouth all ready but that would just be INSECURE wouldn't it? It's wrong to be mindful of my own feelings THAT'S SO SELFISH. I guess I'll just put up with it and BE A MAN.

(And to poster WakeUp, she has actually PHYSICALLY clinged on to me when I tried to walk away from her).

I just decided to not take everything too seriously. And to just let it be. I really don't care anymore. If she wants to keep this guy around as a friend, so be it. I'll just man up and deal with it. In the meantime, I'm just going to focus on the few nice things I have in life and hangout with my friends. If she wants to hangout with bozo alone and have him creep on her all the time, so be it. If she winds up jumping ship to this guy, so be it. Nothing I can do about it except stay happy and content with myself.

Are you serious? Your just going to do nothing and see what happens? Man that is weak and pathetic. Grow a pair and dump her. Your not happy and why should you put up with this bullshit?

Get rid of the bitch so you can meet someone better. Why are you wasting your time on someone who makes you feel insecure? You sound like a decent bloke and you deserve a decent woman who doesn't drive you stark crazy!

Get rid of the clinging damsel in distress. How pathetic is that? Clinging to you like a baby crying? I would never lower myself to that! jeez!