My ex gf's friend bloodied me but I walked away, did I do the right thing?

[SteveBuicks]

Dont lower yourself to revenge. You did the right thing by walking away. You never hit a girl no matter what and getting someone else to is just as bad. Most people will think you were a man for not retaliating so give yourself a pat on the back

I'll keep that in mind. I spoke with my friends about what happened a couple days ago and I was given almost the same opinion. While most of my friends agreed I did the right thing, only 2 were actually asking me why I didn't punch her back. I don't care. That's not in me. I don't want to lower myself to animalistic level just because she's an animal.

I'll still maintain my same view on this but yes it does gets upsetting how some women are willing to take advantage of this. My new rule:
1) If it happens in a relationship, it would be over and will report her.
2) If it happens again with another girl; will report her as well too.
3) Will try to block an upcoming punch if I were to see one. She just caught me off guard.

As much as I was upset, I don't think it's really sexist the ''Don't hit a girl'' phrase. It's said for a good reason. If I had gone the route certain men go ''Oh hit her back'', I would have probably either broke her nose or send her to the hospital. Generally we can do more damage to the girl than vice-versa no matter how big and strong she appears to be.

[SteveBuicks]

i just think pressing charges is a bit extreme. would he do that if a man punched him?

Unless he was some extremely weak/small man or old guy, I would sock him right back. It's easier to solve things when it's another guy trying to fight you than a girl.

I just don't punch girls, extremely weak people, children or the elderly.

[Wakeup]

No one is disputing that you remained a gentleman. Steve. But yes, Michelle was being sexist when it came to some of the things she was on about. And, please do mean that you will report her (or any other woman) that hits you in the future. Its not "over-reacting" but rather teaching a woman who hits that there is consequences to her anti-social behavour.

Cheers.

To add: The saying is: "A gentleman never hits a lady." Well a skank who sucker punches you is hardly a "lady." Regardless you remained the gentleman.

[SteveBuicks]

No one is disputing that you remained a gentleman. Steve. But yes, Michelle was being sexist when it came to some of the things she was on about. And, please do mean that you will report her (or any other woman) that hits you in the future. Its not "over-reacting" but rather teaching a woman who hits that there is consequences to her anti-social behavour.

Cheers.

Well true. I'm willing to also bet that if I were one of those men that hits back girls, that girl would have had me charged right away. She seemed like that type that would destroy a man's future. In fact, she was actually telling me ''What you gonna do now hit me, do it you POS, do it and you'll see''.

It's crazy to think how much these type of girls are willing to go that far to get a reaction from us. She basically tried my belief. For all I know, I would have lost if I did what she was asking for.

[HeheMan]

I'm not going to say you did the "right" thing by walking away - but you definitely did the smart think. Had you take any physically retaliatory response, you would have been the one taken to prison ("Primary Aggressor" laws designed to ensure that the woman is always innocent), or at least you would have made yourself look really bad and possibly gotten your @$$ stomped by multiple other men, and the she would have been all justified "OMG, what an @$$hole, he hit me and I'm just an innocent defenseless woman!"

The problem with our society is that the media is full of depictions of women abusing men, from simple slaps to outright punches and kicks to the groin. This is considered "acceptable behavior" and in many situations is used as humor. Any implication of violence against women by men is met with harsh reprisal, and the men who do so are depicted as being punished/killed for their transgressions.

To make matters worse, men who speak up over this are told gender-shaming phrases such as "man up" or "stop being a pussy". Many women think it's "empowering" that they can hit a man and get away with it - in fact many women feel justified in hitting men over a variety of reasons, and people automatically assume that if a woman hits a man, he somehow deserved it. Men are not allowed to hit women back, and this has led to number of deluded women thinking they're actually as strong or tough as men because men often (prudently) back down from fights with women or refuse to use full force.

It puts a man in a double-bind: If he backs down from her, she automatically becomes strong and empowered and he's a sissy wimp running from a girl. If he hits her back, she automatically becomes the innocent victim of abuse by a man and he's scum who needs to be hunted down and punished.

In this way, women who hit men are lower scum than men who hit women. At least women have defense. Men don't have anything but to take it and "man up".

i just think pressing charges is a bit extreme. would he do that if a man punched him?

He would actually be allowed to defend himself against a man punching him...

[HeartIsAching]

I'm not going to say you did the "right" thing by walking away - but you definitely did the smart think. Had you take any physically retaliatory response, you would have been the one taken to prison ("Primary Aggressor" laws designed to ensure that the woman is always innocent),

Your knowledge is outdated.

[HeheMan]

She seemed like that type that would destroy a man's future. In fact, she was actually telling me ''What you gonna do now hit me, do it you POS, do it and you'll see''.

Women who hit men are well aware of the double-standard which protects them from a full-on retaliation from their victims. There is no doubt in my mind that had you reacted with your full capability you could have rendered her unconscious. She is aware of this, but she is also aware of the strong social forces and influences that have conditioned you against such a reaction, and she is also aware that should you actually lay a hand on her, you will burn for it.

Basically she is scum, and anyone telling you to "man up" is scum and unaware of the issues of sexism and gender-bias at play here.

You should totally press charges against her. Take pictures of your bruises face/bloody clothes, talk to the witnesses, and take her to court. She needs to learn that hitting other PEOPLE is unacceptable in civilized society and that doing so has consequences.

[HeheMan]

Your knowledge is outdated.

Just replying to let you know that I'm open to discussion on any topic, but am unable to do so if you're just going to post one line with no elaboration or support.

[HeartIsAching]

Let's just say I have... intimate knowledge on the intricacies of domestic violence laws.

[HeheMan]

Let's just say I have... intimate knowledge on the intricacies of domestic violence laws.

Okay. Maybe you can explain what happened to me then.

I was living with a woman back in 2006-2007. We used to fight a lot. The fights were very intense and would last for days on end, but never physical. Well, one day I was ignoring her and not fighting, and she picked up a kitchen knife and attacked me. I threw my arms up in defense and she managed to cut me open along the dorsum of my left forearm. I shoved her to the ground and ran to the bathroom to cover it with a towel (it was bleeding profusely). I ran back into the kitchen to call 911, but she was already on the phone. She called the police, saying I had hit her.

The police arrived and I explained what happened, as they handcuffed my uninjured arm to the handrail outside of our house. They took a statement from her, but didn't seem very interested in what I had to say, even though I was clearly the injured party and bleeding everywhere. (None of the officers even bothered to apply a tourniquet, even though I knew they had IFAKs and it was well within their capability to do so, and I requested one several times.) As the ambulance was pulling up, they asked her if she would like to begin the process of filing a restraining order against me.

It was only until I was at the hospital (in handcuffs after being sewed up) that a social worker came in and asked me my side of the story, and then offered me services.

What happened?

[HeartIsAching]

Depends on the state you were living in.

Honestly, you got some sexist cops.

The first time my ex called the cops, they told both of us that we were BOTH in danger of going to jail. That got her real quiet.

[HeartIsAching]

The problem here is that while laws have been written that equalize violence between men and women, they're not always applied appropriately.

[HeheMan]

Depends on the state you were living in.

Honestly, you got some sexist cops.

The first time my ex called the cops, they told both of us that we were BOTH in danger of going to jail. That got her real quiet.

Well there you go.

The cops can be sexist and the man will get arrested and charged. Even if it was self-defense, he now faces an uphill battle.

It's much easier for a man to make his case in court if he didn't hit the woman back. People respond very strongly to the idea of a woman being hurt, especially if she presents pictures of her face bruised or whatever.

[HeartIsAching]

For example, where I'm living now if a cop shows up, they're likely to ask my wife what she did to piss me off... no, I don't know that from personal experience, but anecdotal evidence from others.

[BlueMoonSal]

OP next time a woman does that, have her charged right away. It makes sense. If anyone (man or woman) is going to act like a wild animal, then jail is the best place for them to spend time.

If a man or woman hit me, I would report them right away and make sure they get real time. I think the only single time anyone should ever hit back someone is in absolute self-defense esp. when your life is at stake or the attacker is going to seriously injure or kill a close member. In other words, only use force in extreme situations. That's the difference between hitting because your life was in danger and you trying to get them away from you and hitting because ''but he/she hit me first, I'll teach them a lesson not to mess with me''. In the latter, you're just as bad as your attacker.