I'm lame at talking to women....I need a point in the right direction.

[THX]

I've decided to pull myself up by the boot straps and go back out into the dating scene. I went out Friday, Saturday, Sunday and tonight trying to shake off the rust.

My conversation skills suck. It sounds like I'm conducting an interview. "Where are you from?" - "What do you do?" - "How do you know these people you are here with?" etc etc. This goes on until the woman leaves or I spare her of further boredom by leaving. Every once in a while I will say something witty and pertinant to the convesation but it is so rare that I always notice it and think, "Holy @#&$ where did that come from?"

I don't know how much of this you are born with or without. I guess a few instances where I was drinking and caught fire, ( conversationally speaking ) makes me think there is some potential for improvement.

My question is how do I learn how to have mutually satisfying conversations with women?

Right now my plan is to just keep plugging away at it. Thinking as I become less nervous by desensatizing myself, my thinking will be more clear and relaxed. Forcing myself to adapt to my environment until I feel at home in it. Still I can't help but wonder if there are ways for me to be more proactive.

[BennyJamesField]

just be you
that works for me
making them laugh is always good
dont followup their answer to yu question with ah ok or another question. make some sort of innocent joke or something.

[basilandthyme]

Those things you've asked are all standard 'small talk' repertoire for me. Perhaps you're not working well enough with your second and third comments?

After you find out where she works or where she's from, try some open ended questions. "Oh, so you're a country girl. How was it growing up in the country?" and let her run with it. "oh, you know John from College....what was he like back then?". "You're in advertising? How is the current economic downturn effecting your business?"

And if there's something you can relate to, feel free to add in some comments.