Is this a rebound/distraction?

[hiyaimkayleigh]

My ex (not even 2 weeks since we broke up) has been saying that he does want to try again and what needs to change (talk more openly, spend less time together ect), but he's also said he doesn't know when we will try again, "it could be months, years, who knows, but it will happen".
He has also said he wants to remain friends for the time being.

However, I've just found out today he's been off flirting with other girls, and even arranged for one to go stay at his flat on Saturday (no prizes for guessing what's happening there!). Thing is, this girls seemed to be interested in him all throughout our relationship. Is he just wanting a bit of attention? Or is he looking for a rebound?
All these girls he's talking to are also complete opposite to what I've heard/known his "type" to be. Is that just a way of moving on?

Also can anyone shed some light on rebounds for me? Like how long do they last ect?

I do truly believe he is the man I want to be with, and the one, so of course I want to reconcile in the future, but I'm not holding my breath. I've realised he's putting himself out there already, so I am too!
I want to go NC, and I have tried, but right now it's so hard, 1) knowing theres a new girl on the scene already, and 2) we seem to have slipped up not so long ago so there might be something there, if you get what I mean. (I still haven't come to terms with it myself).

Any advice on what to do?

[smackie9]

Ya write him off and move on.

[4 ratties]

He's just trying to soften the blow by saying you might have something later and let's still be friends. Maybe he was bored sexually and wants to sleep around it doesn't sound like he's the settling down type right now, especially if he's young. Sounds like he just wants to have fun right now. I really would move on for now.

[lalalita]

He's trying to keep you on the back burner while going off and sewing his wild oats. That's not fair to you. It should be all or nothing, not you sit around heartbroken while he's sleeping with other women until he decides it's "time to work things out". Don't be a doormat.

[basilandthyme]

His behaviour says that he has zero interest in you now. Forget being friends - just cut him off and move on.

As for re-bounds? It depends on whether or not he's using her as a salve. If he's using her to dull his pain, a new relationship probably won't work. But if he was really wanting to get out of the relationship, then it's entirely likely that he's done a big sigh of relief and has hit the ground running.

Pay no interest to his 'type'. The man I married is not at all similar to the guys I'd dated previously. Which is probably why it worked so well. Besides, dating the same type all the time gets boring.

[Onthemend]

Don't think about waiting for him, just move on and forget this guy. You're not a thing that can be cast aside and picked up again when it suits him. Get anything that reminds you of him out of your sight. I'd discourage continuing any contact with him, you don't want to poke a fresh wound. You'll find someone better for you.

[VerticalMoon]

The answer as to why he's seeing other girls is pretty simple. He's having fun. He has an opportunity to try out other girls who aren't his type and see what else is out there. I'm willing to bet pretty heavily that at least part of the reason as to why the break up happened is so that he'd have an excuse to try something like this.

It's really unfair to you. He gets to go out and enjoy himself. Then use the excuse that you were having problems in the relationship to justify it. Meanwhile, he expects you to wait around for him. So in case he's still single when he's ready for a committed relationship, you can be his back-up plan.

There's no guarantee at all that he'll still be around in the future. Even this new girl that you're calling a rebound may end up being the one he decides to stay with. I've known several people who broke up with a significant other they'd dated for years, then immediately afterwards getting together with somebody new and ended up spending the rest of their lives with the new person. Contrary to popular belief, not every rebound is always destined to fail.

Ask yourself, "If fixing the relationship is that important to him, then why isn't he with you working on it right now?" The answer is that having the opportunity to be with other women is important to him than you are. I know it's only been two weeks since you guys have broken up. But honey, it's a break-up. He's out there seeing other women. That's about as permanent as it gets. You need to get some self-respect, and let go of the idea of him being "the one."

I apologize if this post is coming off a little harsh. But I'm reading about a guy who's living the bachelor life at the moment. Meanwhile, the girl who is supposedly the love of his life, the girl who saw him as the #1 man in her life, is getting nothing from him. Yet, he's trying to leave the door open with her, so he can waltz back in years later and reclaim her if he needs to. I'm getting really mad at this guy. I think you should be too. It will help you to move on.

Please go no contact with him. If you need to write a list of all the reasons why it would be a bad idea. Then when you feel like contacting him take the list out and reread it.

Best wishes. You'll get past this with time.

[TablesandChairs]

First of all, anyone who tells you 'we're going to get together again...maybe in a month, a year, 10 years' isn't serious about you. Who in their right mind is going to wait for someone after years of being broken up. He must think you're dumb. He probably said it so a) he can keep you on the back burner if things with other girls don't go to plan and b) to attempt to stop you from being with other people. Mind games really.

I would write him off but if you don't...well, start dating other people. More than likely you'll find someone better and move on anyway.

[michelle23]

Girl you need to grow a backbone and tell him to have a nice life. If he really wanted you-you would be together now and he wouldn't be arranging to meet anyone else Saturday night. F**k that-you are better than this. You wait for NOBODY! It is his loss! Move on, go on a date with someone else, cut all contact with him (do NOT stay friends) and the next time he mentions "getting back together" you tell him straight it is NEVER gonna happen, you dont want him, he can go f**k the whole town for all you care coz he aint your problem anymore.