Does ex want me back? What do if i still have feelings?

[youcanever]

Hey everyone,

I need your advice. Ex broke up with me 4 weeks ago and i have been doing NC for 3 weeks and she called me 3 days ago.

Asked how im doing bla bla bla, asked nonsense questions about work and travel. It was obvious she wanted to talk to me. While talking i felt nothing toward her and even wanted to hang up phone.

She also said she will send my stuff back. I said i dont want but she said she will. And after breal up she said she wont send it. Now she says she will. Wtf?

Before she met me she kept talking to her ex and when she met me she stopped it. And when we talked 3 days ago i told her i dont want to be like her ex and speak once a 3 4 weeks and ask each other how we are doing. She said okay take care then and we hung up.

But yesterday and today i have been thinking about her nonstop. She never cheated on me, she never lied to me but she was so selfish and stubborn whch hurt me a lot.

Do you think she wants me back? Should i send her a message and let her know about my feelings so at least when i look back in future i wont regret that i kept my feelings inside. And maybe it changes stuff?

What do guys? Please help.

I was doing okay till she contact me and i now think of her and started creeping on her whatsap and facebook.

What do?

[browncoat]

Talk to her.If she wants to get back together then set boundaries that you both agreee upon. The key to a successful relationship is communication. If she hurt you, let her know in a constructive manner instead of getting angry or hurt. Let her know how you feel, just don't get your hopes too high. She contacted you for a rwason. Find out what that reason is. Good luck

[michelle23]

i think you were doing fine with no contact and should continue with it. shes just pissed that your not begging her for attention and its now a case of wanting what she cant have. if you get back with her-she will just dump you again in a few weeks/months and hurt you even more.

dont ever go backwards-keep moving forward. you broke up for a reason. you just need to be strong and stop yourself from obsessively checking her facebook. it takes time but youll get over her

[youcanever]

i think you were doing fine with no contact and should continue with it. shes just pissed that your not begging her for attention and its now a case of wanting what she cant have. if you get back with her-she will just dump you again in a few weeks/months and hurt you even more.

dont ever go backwards-keep moving forward. you broke up for a reason. you just need to be strong and stop yourself from obsessively checking her facebook. it takes time but youll get over her

It is hard but i will go on with NC. Sometimes i have the nee of contacting her but my mind and heart tells me not to. And when i look back i see that the only thing good in our relationship was sex. Nothing else.

She never told me she loves me or she misses me. If im lucky all i get was "me too". That was killing me.

I dont want to live that down times again. Yes the thought of she will be with someone else hurts but there is nothing i can do. Hope she be happy.

[michelle23]

sex is an important part of a relationship BUT without other important factors it is not enough to keep a relationship alive such as an emotional connection, shared interests, shared values, morals, goals, being able to confide in each other, lean on each other during hard times, lots of affection, mutual feelings, trust, respect etc

You probably already know all that. Anyway you are better off without her coz now you have a chance to find a woman who does tick all those boxes, who returns your love and affection and who makes you feel valuable.

You will be okay, just stay strong. Time heals everything

[youcanever]

sex is an important part of a relationship BUT without other important factors it is not enough to keep a relationship alive such as an emotional connection, shared interests, shared values, morals, goals, being able to confide in each other, lean on each other during hard times, lots of affection, mutual feelings, trust, respect etc

You probably already know all that. Anyway you are better off without her coz now you have a chance to find a woman who does tick all those boxes, who returns your love and affection and who makes you feel valuable.

You will be okay, just stay strong. Time heals everything

Being 19 is an excuse to be selfish and break a guy's heart?

She is 19 i am 23.

Should i man up and initiate contact and take control?

[michelle23]

I didnt say it was an excuse. But a lot of teenage girls still have a lot of maturing to do and act like selfish spoiled brats regularly... and they normally dont have a clue what they want-hence the games, mixed signals, BS..

Why would you want to initiate contact? You broke up for a reason. You said yourself you feel used, undervalued, under appreciated, unloved etc. Why do you want to go back to that?

[youcanever]

I didnt say it was an excuse. But a lot of teenage girls still have a lot of maturing to do and act like selfish spoiled brats regularly... and they normally dont have a clue what they want-hence the games, mixed signals, BS..

Why would you want to initiate contact? You broke up for a reason. You said yourself you feel used, undervalued, under appreciated, unloved etc. Why do you want to go back to that?

Because the idea that she will sleep with soneone else is hurting me.also she broke up, not me.

[michelle23]

But its gonna happen sooner or later man. She broke up with you. You need to accept that its over so you can start to heal. Then you will have a chance to meet someone else who wants you as much as you want her. A 50/50 relationship.

We have all been there. I know it hurts but it just takes time. She is not the right one. The next one might be

[youcanever]

But its gonna happen sooner or later man. She broke up with you. You need to accept that its over so you can start to heal. Then you will have a chance to meet someone else who wants you as much as you want her. A 50/50 relationship.

We have all been there. I know it hurts but it just takes time. She is not the right one. The next one might be

I don know why i bıther so much. She had sex before me too. Alao i had sex eith her too. Her new bf should feel bad about it not me. I did what i wanted. Do i miss? Yes but have no regrets. Weird.

[michelle23]

Its good you have no regrets. Life is too short Now move on and start living your life without her. There is so much more to life than ONE girl who rejected you. Dont dwell on it. Plenty more fish in the sea as they say

[youcanever]

Its good you have no regrets. Life is too short Now move on and start living your life without her. There is so much more to life than ONE girl who rejected you. Dont dwell on it. Plenty more fish in the sea as they say

Yeah they told that when i broke up with my first love but to be honest the 2 fish i met stinks till now. Lets see what ocean bring this time, or it will bother to bring any.

[michelle23]

its okay to feel like crap for awhile. Listen to angry music, go for a long run, punch the crap out of a pillow, even secretly eat icecream and listen to sappy music till you cry if you want. That is fine.. but you can only do that for so long and then you gotta pick yourself up again

[youcanever]

its okay to feel like crap for awhile. Listen to angry music, go for a long run, punch the crap out of a pillow, even secretly eat icecream and listen to sappy music till you cry if you want. That is fine.. but you can only do that for so long and then you gotta pick yourself up again

You are right, im so focused on work, started gym, forcing myself to get better mentally and physically. Than yo very much for your support michelle. Very appreciated.

[michelle23]

Your welcome. All those things you mentioned are a very constructive way to heal so well done and best of luck