My girlfriend kissed another guy...

[Anonymously_]

We don't have to agree. I just want this cocksucker to stop being such a hypocrite and back up his claims.

You don't have to start insulting me lol, I'm literally laughing at you because using a sample size of a pathetically tiny amount of people is the back-up to your claims I could just as easily say that I know 7 people that have cheated in the past and haven't minimized their involvement. I could also just as easily say you have made up all that shit for your purposes.

[Stickleback]

I have no evidence, that's why my original post said "probably". It's based on observation of others who exhibit similar behavior in similar situations.

It's based on a minuscule sampling. You don't have a trend, you have anecdotes.
Basing a supposition on the evidence of a handful of relationships and extrapolating that supposition to apply to every relationship in this situation is facile.

You have no proof this girl has done anything more than she says. It is unfair to accuse her of anything without it.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You can say whatever you want. You made a claim to a fact and didn't support it. I explained to you the facts that my suspicion was based on. You don't have to believe me and you can call me insecure all you want, but the real fact is I'm just drawing a logical conclusion based on the stats I have...something I'm paid 6 figures to do, and that is provable. I know it's a small sample size, but it's all I've got. It's a pretty rare situation to deal with in my life.

I'm much more concerned now about your claim that the actual fact is that only a tiny percentage of people who cheat minimize it. Where is the support for that claim.

[Stickleback]

You can say whatever you want. You made a claim to a fact and didn't support it. I explained to you the facts that my suspicion was based on. You don't have to believe me and you can call me insecure all you want, but the real fact is I'm just drawing a logical conclusion based on the stats I have...something I'm paid 6 figures to do, and that is provable. I know it's a small sample size, but it's all I've got. It's a pretty rare situation to deal with in my life.

I'm much more concerned now about your claim that the actual fact is that only a tiny percentage of people who cheat minimize it. Where is the support for that claim.

If you're paid six figures to work with figures and basing a conclusion on such a minute sampling, your results at work must be pretty poor.

I'm fairly confident I can dredge up twice that number of people who have kissed another person whist being within a relationship, and not had sex from amongst my friends alone.

Where does that leave your sampling?

The fact is that people act differently and to accuse someone of something based on statistics, and pretty damn flimsy statistics at that, rather than solid evidence is a pretty low thing to do.

[Anonymously_]

I'm much more concerned now about your claim that the actual fact is that only a tiny percentage of people who cheat minimize it. Where is the support for that claim.

I know 5 people that have cheated and haven't minimised their involvement.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I know 5 people that have cheated and haven't minimised their involvement.

Okay, if that is true, then you have supported your claim, but that still doesn't make what you said "the actual fact". Do you understand the difference between calling something a fact, and basing something on fact?


I work with million and billion record datasets, but the principles are the same.

There's not a huge dataset because it's also a rare event, in my life, but each followed a similar pattern. That is significant.

Modeling, mining, and prediction are based on finding patterns and logically coming to a conclusion.

[Starnique]

It's based on a minuscule sampling. You don't have a trend, you have anecdotes.
Basing a supposition on the evidence of a handful of relationships and extrapolating that supposition to apply to every relationship in this situation is facile.

You have no proof this girl has done anything more than she says. It is unfair to accuse her of anything without it.

No, it is trend. Maybe you lack experience with dealing with a cheater but I've dealt with a cheater and I know several of them, girls and guys. Cheaters lie about shit like that. That is a fact. They always minimize their wrong doings. They can be caught dead in the act and they still will lie and minimize their part. If you haven't seen it amongst your friends then that's you.

Also, if my guy kissed another girl. I would be just as pissed about that and at this point in my life, no I wouldn't take him back. I would be like, you kissed her and you probably did **** her and if you didn't, then you wanted to. Why? Because I been there and did it to and I know how it goes. It has nothing to do with insecurity. It's about being smart and using common sense. You don't have to use logic and facts for everything, especially when it comes to mess like that. I don't need the evidence, the kiss would be enough for me. It may be okay for your chic to swap spit ( which is just as nasty imo). It's still shows lack of disrespect which is enough for some people. I don't need to know all the facts because I would be feeling like, why even get into this situation?

I highly doubt that Backup does poor work.

[Anonymously_]

Okay, if that is true, then you have supported your claim, but that still doesn't make what you said "the actual fact". Do you understand the difference between calling something a fact, and basing something on fact?


I work with million and billion record datasets, but the principles are the same.

There's not a huge dataset because it's also a rare event, in my life, but each followed a similar pattern. That is significant.

Modeling, mining, and prediction are based on finding patterns and logically coming to a conclusion.

No, it isn't actually true, but it's also besides the point and when I said 'actual fact', I was being a bit sarcastic. Course I understand the difference, but what you did is you asserted that it's fact that everybody minimises their involvement because a few people who you know did.

[Stickleback]

No, it is trend. Maybe you lack experience with dealing with a cheater but I've dealt with a cheater and I know several of them, girls and guys. Cheaters lie about shit like that. That is a fact. They always minimize their wrong doings. They can be caught dead in the act and they still will lie and minimize their part. If you haven't seen it amongst your friends then that's you.

Also, if my guy kissed another girl. I would be just as pissed about that and at this point in my life, no I wouldn't take him back. I would be like, you kissed her and you probably did **** her and if you didn't, then you wanted to. Why? Because I been there and did it to and I know how it goes. It has nothing to do with insecurity. It's about being smart and using common sense. You don't have to use logic and facts for everything, especially when it comes to mess like that. I don't need the evidence, the kiss would be enough for me. It may be okay for your chic to swap spit ( which is just as nasty imo). It's still shows lack of disrespect which is enough for some people. I don't need to know all the facts because I would be feeling like, why even get into this situation?

I highly doubt that Backup does poor work.

I'm not denying any of that, but you are both accusing this girl based on statistics and not evidence. It is entirely possible she did do more, but it is just as possible that she didn't. In the absence of ANY evidence to suggest that she did, other than "well other people have done it", it is unfair to accuse her of anything.

If the OP thinks and has the desire to attempt to give things a go, and his girlfriend feels the same, that is their decision to make. Disagree with it all you want, warn him all you want, but don't accuse someone of doing something without a shred of evidence. The OP should be making that decision on the evidence in front of him, not the statistical possibility of what might have happened.

[afroman]

No, it is trend. Maybe you lack experience with dealing with a cheater but I've dealt with a cheater and I know several of them, girls and guys. Cheaters lie about shit like that. That is a fact. They always minimize their wrong doings. They can be caught dead in the act and they still will lie and minimize their part. If you haven't seen it amongst your friends then that's you.

Also, if my guy kissed another girl. I would be just as pissed about that and at this point in my life, no I wouldn't take him back. I would be like, you kissed her and you probably did **** her and if you didn't, then you wanted to. Why? Because I been there and did it to and I know how it goes. It has nothing to do with insecurity. It's about being smart and using common sense. You don't have to use logic and facts for everything, especially when it comes to mess like that. I don't need the evidence, the kiss would be enough for me. It may be okay for your chic to swap spit ( which is just as nasty imo). It's still shows lack of disrespect which is enough for some people. I don't need to know all the facts because I would be feeling like, why even get into this situation?

I highly doubt that Backup does poor work.

I'd be willing to bet that the same percentage of people who lie and minimize their cheating actions, also have a habit of telling "little white lies" pretty frequently, or stretching truths/arguing technicalities in truth vs. lies. Seems logical doesn't it? Just an educated guess, but with this in mind.. Let's consider this guy's girlfriend NEVER does this? Never tells little white lies or anything like that, but did cheat.. And was honest about the incident.

There's no way to PROVE that she did more than what she said. Why let your imagination run amuck with what she could have possibly done? All you can do is take her word or leave her.

Personally, if I were in the guy's shoes.. I wouldn't really hold my breath and just go about enjoying life. There are plenty of women out there, go have fun instead of dwelling on petty relationship BS. I know it's easier said than done (I'm stuck in a tough relationship situation myself).. But we have to do what we have to do to make ourselves happy.. That's all it comes down to.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

No, it isn't actually true, but it's also besides the point and when I said 'actual fact', I was being a bit sarcastic. Course I understand the difference, but what you did is you asserted that it's fact that everybody minimises their involvement because a few people who you know did.

Clearly you don't get the difference. I didn't assert my opinion as fact, I said she "probably" did. You asserted a fact when you claimed, "the actual fact is..." I don't buy that you were being sarcastic, but even if you were, it's still a hypocritical statement in juxtaposition to the one you made immediately before it.

Again, we are not looking for anomalies, we are comparing data points of the same anomaly, so our dataset doesn't really need to be a large sampling to start drawing conclusions. Call me when you step up your Stochastic modeling and risk analysis game, I might have a job for you.

[Anonymously_]

Clearly you don't get the difference. I didn't assert my opinion as fact, I said she "probably" did. You asserted a fact when you claimed you actually said, "the actual fact is..." I don't buy that you were being sarcastic, but even if you were, it's still a hypocritical statement in juxtaposition to the one you made immediately before it.

Again, we are not looking for anomalies, we are comparing data points of the same anomaly, so our dataset doesn't really need to be a large sampling to start drawing conclusions. Call me when you step up your Stochastic modeling and risk analysis game, I might have a job for you.

It's seriously like talking to a brick wall. Ok, You asserted that it's fact that she 'probably' did more based on the bullshit fact that a handful of people you know did minimise what happened. Happy? Excellent

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I'm not denying any of that, but you are both accusing this girl based on statistics and not evidence. It is entirely possible she did do more, but it is just as possible that she didn't. In the absence of ANY evidence to suggest that she did, other than "well other people have done it", it is unfair to accuse her of anything.

If the OP thinks and has the desire to attempt to give things a go, and his girlfriend feels the same, that is their decision to make. Disagree with it all you want, warn him all you want, but don't accuse someone of doing something without a shred of evidence. The OP should be making that decision on the evidence in front of him, not the statistical possibility of what might have happened.

Life's not fair, and I really didn't accuse her of anything. I said it's probable, and I advised to act as though she did do more. Why shouldn't he be able to factor in the possibility that she's done more than she says into his decision? I thought he got good advice from the previous posters so I added in something I thought he should also consider. I didn't a decision for him at all.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It's seriously like talking to a brick wall. Ok, You asserted that it's fact that she 'probably' did more based on the bullshit fact that a handful of people you know did minimise what happened. Happy? Excellent

You left out the part about you asserting an absolute fact based on nothing. Add that in and we're good.

Glad we can agree that I'm making assumptions based on insufficient data collection, not insecurity and paranoia.

[Anonymously_]

You left out the part about you asserting an absolute fact based on nothing. Add that in and we're good.

Glad we can agree that I'm making assumptions based on insufficient data collection, not insecurity and paranoia.

I've already said I was being sarcastic and you said you didn't believe me, which is absolutely fine.

You're not reading what I actually said again, I never said you were making assumptions based on insecurity and paranoia. I said to make an assumption like that, in my opinion is insecure and paranoid.