Banishing the green eyed monster

[j-white]

I work with my girlfriend (never a good idea). She's a very sociable girl and talks to everybody, already after two months three guys have asked her out, one even inviting her to France, and another 3 or 4 have proclaimed there envy of me. To her.

None of this bothers me. However, there's one musclebound guy that keeps talking to her and making comments, they aren't exactly suggestive but I feel they're heading that way.

I'm sure this all stems from a feeling if physical insecurity next to him. I just need to stop this feeling. She knows I have a problem with him but she can't avoid or not talk to him because I'm being mental.

I feel my chest get real tight and breathing get difficult when I see them talking and I'm sure I become less fun which would eventually push her to him.
She has reassured me but I've started trying to 'catch her out' a little, even though I know a jealous mind will create links where there a none based on coincidences.

Has anybody dealt with this before and have any tips on dropping these crazy thoughts and feelings. It's almost become like a physical pain the last two days.

[HDBadger]

I can see where you're coming from. Honestly, it gets annoying dating someone overly social because lots of guys will take that as a license to flirt with her.

But you can't change who she is. I think this falls under the category of deal with it or leave her.

I will say that if a woman does really want to be in a relationship with you, she shouldn't really feel the need to flirt with other guys, and should dissuade that sort of activity.

[4 ratties]

Is she shutting down his flirting or smiling back and communicating more? If she's being flirty, she's disrespectful and dump her. She likes male attention. Probably daddy issues.

[j-white]

It's not so simple as that though is it?

If somebody talks to me I never just walk off or not respond. If somebody was to make a suggestive comment I'd probably just laugh it off or something also. It's a natural reaction.

I don't really know if they're flirting. From what I've seen he just initiates conversation with her a lot, which bothers me because of his physique! Ant other guy I'd probably be fine with but I just can't imagine any women turning him down.

At the moment I'm more concerned not that she will cheat, but that this thought is going through my head so much.
She is always saying how much I mean to her and talking about the future, I think I'm just being crazy about this.
Once something like this has taken root in your head it seems difficult to get rid of!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're two months in. Relax. Just because she's hot, doesn't mean she's the only hot girl you can get. Are there any other hot girls at work? When she talks to him, leave the area and go find one of them to talk to. If not, just leave the area.

This early on, don't let talks of the future and "how much you mean to her", get in your head.

[ninetoe1024]

Tell her how you feel, she may not take it as something she is doing wrong, but if she feels that way (and does not have a guilty look while talking to you) then she probably is just being another one of the folks at the office, talking to other people. When you see this happening, act. Tell that guy
to back off your territory. Defend what is yours, if it comes to blows, just hope it's not the musclebound guy, if it is, then say it as confidently as
you can and as if he was nothing but a fly, buzzing round your head. And, seriously, when you are fighting (hope it doesn't come to it), your
strength increases by a factor of 10 at least when defending your love.

[j-white]

Thanks ninetoe, unfortunately the whole evolution thing kind of happened
If I so much as threaten to punch somebody I'll lose a relatively good job (by my standards).

When she could see I was visibly annoyed she moved from the area and avoided working with him the rest of the day.
I told her not to do that because I don't want to control where she goes and who she speaks with. I never want to be that way as I'll never have peace of mind.

I'm more interested in getting rid of jealous feelings. It's a horrible emotion and leaves me feeling real bad.

[j-white]

So I've noticed that when my girlfriend sees a picture of a muscular guy in Facebook or whatever or even an actual guy in the fairground on one occasion. She makes an audible 'Mmm' noise. I confronted her about this.

She knows I'm quite self conscious about my physique (or lack of!). She said I'm perfect for her, I asked how am I to believe that when she loses control of her vocal cords when she sees a muscular guy.

I eventually got her to tell me what I knew and that she's doing it intentionally because 'girls like when their boyfriend is jealous'.

And here I was trying to get rid of these feelings while she wants to put me through that! Wow.

[4 ratties]

So I've noticed that when my girlfriend sees a picture of a muscular guy in Facebook or whatever or even an actual guy in the fairground on one occasion. She makes an audible 'Mmm' noise. I confronted her about this.

She knows I'm quite self conscious about my physique (or lack of!). She said I'm perfect for her, I asked how am I to believe that when she loses control of her vocal cords when she sees a muscular guy.

I eventually got her to tell me what I knew and that she's doing it intentionally because 'girls like when their boyfriend is jealous'.

And here I was trying to get rid of these feelings while she wants to put me through that! Wow.

She knows your insecure about your looks so she's feeding off that to keep U under her control. It's pretty sick actually. She sounds like a real winner. And only been together a couple months? Yeah this will be a fun ride for u. Goodluck.

[Valixy]

A girl might like to observe her boyfriend becoming a little bit jealous in innocent situations sometimes when she really has had no intention to make him jealous but trying to make him feel insecure about himself is different. That's not even fair play.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Have sex with another girl, then tell her you just like seeing her a little jealous. She's an attention whore, so she won't leave you.