Dumped to get back with her ex... My long story

[Magicsponge]

Right, the no contact didn't last long... she messaged me again (through SMS so she does still have my number), asking why I didn't drop her stuff off. Well, needless to say this set the fires burning. I ignored the first message, but then she sent another having a go at me for ignoring her, I'm sorry, but I couldn't resist copy-pasting her message where she told me to 'f-off or I'll call the police about harassment'. Very immature I know, but I couldn't help myself. I then proceeded to tell her that I'd been busy and wasn't a dog to fetch when she says so. Anyway, after a few more heated messages, we're back to silence. I've agreed to take the stuff over tomorrow, only because she has something of mine that I need back.

I know you'll frown upon this, but I think starting to hate her is helping me get over her.

[Ginger2013]

The anger is natural, but honestly? Don't be immature like that, give her back her stuff, go get yours and be done with it. You'll feel better once it's all over with.

[smackie9]

whatever gets you through the night.....

[pogeybait4883]

When you start a relationship with someone who is still with someone else, what makes you think that they wont do the same to you? It's NEVER a good idea to start a relationship with a cheater. I understand that she may have had her reasons and that you may not see her as a cheater and chances are good that if you two ended up together and she ever felt your relationship wasn't up to par, she may resort to cheating on you. Who am I to say a thing like this? Someone who has been in a very similar situation as you and I can tell you from experience it never works out. I've had friends in similar situations as well and it NEVER works out. I know it is hard to get over the fact that the two of you seem to be so compatible and almost "made for each other". We've all been there and even though you may feel that way, perhaps she doesn't. My advice is to hold close to your heart the memories of the time you had together and move on.

[Magicsponge]

When you start a relationship with someone who is still with someone else, what makes you think that they wont do the same to you? It's NEVER a good idea to start a relationship with a cheater. I understand that she may have had her reasons and that you may not see her as a cheater and chances are good that if you two ended up together and she ever felt your relationship wasn't up to par, she may resort to cheating on you. Who am I to say a thing like this? Someone who has been in a very similar situation as you and I can tell you from experience it never works out. I've had friends in similar situations as well and it NEVER works out. I know it is hard to get over the fact that the two of you seem to be so compatible and almost "made for each other". We've all been there and even though you may feel that way, perhaps she doesn't. My advice is to hold close to your heart the memories of the time you had together and move on.

Thank you for this post, and you're absolutely right. I was warned by friends when getting into this relationship that I'd probably end up getting hurt, and they were right... but sometimes just don't want to listen do we?

I saw her again for the final time this evening, so we could return each other's things. As I've said in previous posts, there had been some heated messages exchanged prior to this, but I had no intentions of parting on a bad note. She opened her door, I handed over her things and said that what we had was amazing and we shouldn't spoil the good memories by arguing needlessly, that we'd never see each other again and I'd miss her. She agreed it had been amazing, and we both smiled and said goodbye. She text me a couple of times as I was driving home to thank me for returning her things, but I'd said all I needed to, and didn't reply.

I later posted a status on facebook about saying goodbye being hard, and I received a message from a girl I'd been good friends with in the past, saying she'd waited years to contact me. Anyway, we're going out tomorrow night. I'm not emotionally available yet, but at least it takes my mind off things

EDIT: I should stress that this girl I'm seeing tomorrow knows where I'm at, and asked me out to cheer me up. I'm not looking for a rebound as I now know how it feels to be one!

[Magicsponge]

Have been struggling for the past couple of days. I've been trying hard though. Am 'no contact', been keeping myself plenty busy, and have even been out with two different girls over the past 2 weeks... but now I'm thinking about her again. I think going out with these girls has highlighted the connection I had with my ex... I just don't feel it with these new girls. They're both keen, ringing and texting me all the time. They're pretty, successful, available and all the other things that I'm sure people would look for in a partner, but I'm just not interested and I've become the stand-offish person that I was before my ex came into my life.

Maybe it's just early days yet, it has only been 2 weeks after all... I miss her though and my resolve is wavering a little.

[Valixy]

Two weeks is too soon but you'll get there because it does get better with time even if you'll fall back every now and then. As with any other well intentioned changes, taking the first step is not the most difficult thing one will have to do. Continuing on the same way, applying the same effort daily while everything inside you is fighting the improvement you're looking for, is always much more difficult than we initially think. But it's the only way you can go, the only way that's really worth it anyway and after all this struggle, you will liberate yourself and start being happy again. We all do. Don't give up.

[searock]

You two are both crazy... just drop off her stuff at her place, block and delete her number, block and delete her on facebook, never contact her again. It's really that simple.