Would you date someone with kids?

[lalalita]

Why or why not?

Would there have to be specific speculations?

Have you dated a man/woman with children? How did it go?

[Starnique]

It depends on how many kids he has. It depends on the sort of relationship he has with his childs mother. I had a bad past experience with one guy and his ghetto ass baby mother but I got that situation straight real fast. It just really depends.

[VincenzoG91]

When I was young and shallow, I scored each major issue as a strike, and three strikes meant the woman was out, as far as my interest level went. Each kid counted as a strike, so I wouldn't have been interested in a perfectly decent woman who had three kids.

I broke my own rules many years ago, for a woman with more major issues than I had fingers, plus a couple of kids. I hung in there for years, but in hindsight, it was a terrible relationship and I would have been better off if I had bailed quickly. The kids were great, and that kept me in the picture longer than anybody reasonable would have tried.

[Agnus]

Probably not. Kids are cute but it doesn't make any sense especially if on top of the litter there sits the greatest kid - her husband, ex or existing, doesn't matter. What is their father supposed to do then? Breeding another female?

[BlueMoonSal]

I don't think so. The man would always consider his kids first while I would always come in 2nd place. In addition, I really have no interests in having my own kids.

[basilandthyme]

I'd have to get to know the person and observe how they interact with the kids to make a decision. Thing is, if I was to be integrated into the family, I'd have to make sure our parenting ideals were compatible.

[campingfriends]

I probably would if the kids are well behaved, because I enjoy well behaved kids, otherwise, no, because I do not enjoy annoying unruly kids. Yes I did date one that had a well behaved kid, it was a good experience.

[HeartIsAching]

Ok imma... your latest incarnation made me belly-laugh.

[Jffs24]

Would I date a girl with kids, yes.
Have I so far, no.
The drawback would be if the kids were brats and tried to sabotage their moms relationships. Who needs those extra headaches.

[Rowen]

Why or why not?

Would there have to be specific speculations?

Have you dated a man/woman with children? How did it go?

Of course, I would date someone with kids. Honestly, I've always kind of wondered if one day I might adopt a child or two. I really like taking care of little kids, especially, when they haven't reached that "hate the world and everyone in it" phase.

I have dated a man with kids before, but he was an asshole who wasn't involved in their lives. The children were born out of teenage pregnancy, and he dumped them off on their mothers. That, of course, was the same man, though, who was a chain smoking alcoholic. Fun times...

[TheRaven]

Why or why not?

Would there have to be specific speculations?

Have you dated a man/woman with children? How did it go?

99% Never. Unless she was a single mom and i liked her and her Husband was a soldier that died in some war and gave up his life for my freedom.
<edit> : and even then only if i saw a long term ie marriage prospect...its not fair to the little ones to have guys come in and out of their lives as father figures in a revolving door. <end edit>


otherwise...
I didn't make em...not my financial or emotionally responsibility.

and think about it...under what positive circumstances (other than the ONE mentioned above) does a woman have kids but not a husband?


Dont want the baggage...both physical and emotional. No successful decent looking man will answer yes to this...PERIOD.



R

[Exeter19]

probably not right now in my life.

[cbad]

Why or why not?

In my opinion, most people would not date someone with kids if they did not have kids of their own. Please read that carefully. I said "most," not "everyone." There are many reasons for that and I'll try to list a few.

1) It adds a lot to the relationship. It's tough enough to start a relationship and then decide to have a family later. It's a big transition and a lot of responsibility to have kids. Now imagine that you're jumping into both at the same time.

2) There's a lot of drama. A lot of divorced people have a lot of baggage and even more so if it's just some single person who never got married and has a kid. Sorry if that insults someone on the forum, it's not intended to. You have to deal with them, their kids, and potentially their interactions with the ex.

3) It MAY reflect poor decision making. For example, let's say someone is nineteen and has a kid. Maybe that works for someone else, but right off the bat I'm not looking at them as being either the greatest judge of character or the best planner. I mean, either it was an accident (alarm bells) or it was planned and they had a kid with someone who left them, which doesn't really say much about either person to me.

4) It's a burden dumped on the person. OK, so this other person got someone pregnant, left, and now you have to raise the kid. Great. No, thanks. That might not even work if you're talking about a pet, let alone a child.


Often, if the other person has children, they are more willing to get involved with another person who has children. The reason is because they are both coming from the same "level," so they are both more understanding of the circumstance. If you are the one who is getting involved with the person with children, I would consider my above points. If you are asking because you are the one with the child, I would still consider them because you need to make sure your kid isn't being subjected to tons of guys coming in and out of your life and messing him/her up. Your kid comes before you, end of story.

[Starnique]

No successful decent looking man will answer yes to this...PERIOD

That's not true. A friend of mine has two kids from a previous relationship and she had them when she was fairly young. Being irresponsible but she's cool. She met this guy and he makes a six figure salary...he does very well as the figures are not small and he is good looking and decent. I don't think he intended to marry or date someone with baggage if that's what you want to call it, but he fell in love with her first and he loved everything about her so then he fell in love with her kids. He really helped her grow and develop. She was wild and tactless but now she is like a different mature woman. She does hair, have her own shop and a huge clientele. He really helped her a lot and shes a better woman and mother. He could've had Any chic probably but that's who he fell for. Sometimes things just happen. So speak for yourself.

[cbad]

It's pretty much the truth. Basically, if the guy is successful and decent and good looking, he can find a woman without kids. He's not going to go for someone with kids. That's called "settling." It's like if you ask a successful, hot, and decent woman if she'll marry a man with kids. Sure, you might find someone somewhere, but almost all of them will laugh.