Would you date someone with kids?

[searock]

How is an amazing, compatible-with-you, makes-you-happy person that just happens to have kids "settling"?! Also, there are persons that don't mind dating people with kids, therefore they don't view it as a negative attribute at all.

[IndiReloaded]

Most of the time I would say 'no'.

In my case, we had an unexpected 'love at first sight' experience. Unusual for us both. I have a son; he has never had children and doesn't want any.

I'm not a stereotypical single mom tho. Professional, good education, career-focussed. My son is a teenager and getting independent. That makes a difference too. My partner did tell me the fact I was straight up early on about my son being a priority in my life was a major factor for him wanting us to be together. I was willing to walk away for my choices and values and he respected that. Honesty is very important.

As with most things in life, it depends on what you want and what compromises you are willing to make to get it. I'm a pretty great catch, so is my partner, and we just clicked. When you want something enough, you do what is needful to make it work. Hope this helps those in this situation or thinking about it.

[Starnique]

Uhm..no it's not. My point was sometimes things just happen. Take the guy I was talking about. He did not settle. He fell in love with her. He pursued her. What you're saying is irrelevant. If you don't want to, then don't but don't speak for other people.

This was for you cbad.

[Starnique]

People with good money don't settle, especially men do they? Hardly ever. They may fck her but falling in love is a different story. Come to me with realistic facts and experience then we can talk.

[TheRaven]

People with good money don't settle, especially men do they? Hardly ever. They may fck her but falling in love is a different story. Come to me with realistic facts and experience then we can talk.

Totally agree.

I'd emphasize "good career that they love" over the money..the good money is a side effect of being great at what you do. But I totally agree.
Personally...I wouldn't even have sex randomly...unless some girl actually said to me " Lets have sex no strings attached and she was hot"...that rarely happens when you aren't even trying.
Men with good careers in difficult fields have a different thought process about such. Their brain has been trained out of necessity (at being good at their career) to think differently. Spend 3 years of your life...15 to 18 hours a day...barely eating...locked up in a room studying..No TV...no Movie..No going out to dinner..eating the same exact thing every day..No friends..no family.....and then when you DO succeed...you will NEVER chance that on a one night fling and getting some chick pregnant....never ever ever.

on the flip side...such men expect only the best...they wont settle for a girl they feel is otherwise perfect but has had a promiscuous past...just not done...unless the dude is fat and doesn't have a decent looking face...but otherwise...never.


sorry..rambled on there..but i now as soon as i finish this post...my books are giving me that "come hither" look..


cheers



R

[cbad]

on the flip side...such men expect only the best...they wont settle for a girl they feel is otherwise perfect but has had a promiscuous past

Right. Love is love. But a part of all relationship is a decision, conscious or not, as to if you are getting a "good deal." Like, a hot woman isn't going to date some fat guy who is broke. That's just how it goes. They may be great for each other, but the reality is she won't even consider it. And no matter how much people deny that, it's true. Even in your life, no matter how high or low you are on the totem pole, you're not generally going to approach someone you perceive as lower. Most guys view a woman with kids as lower on the totem pole. If you want to say "oh, yeah, what if she was Scarlett Johannson??" OK, so that means that Scarlett Johannson can do it, but since most women aren't Scarlett Johannson, that's an almost irrelevant point. Bottom line is if you have kids with a guy, better make sure he'll stay with you because if he splits it's exponentially more difficult to get another man to come in on that situation. That's life. Nobody said it was fair.

[TheRaven]

Right. Love is love. But a part of all relationship is a decision, conscious or not, as to if you are getting a "good deal." Like, a hot woman isn't going to date some fat guy who is broke. That's just how it goes. They may be great for each other, but the reality is she won't even consider it. And no matter how much people deny that, it's true. Even in your life, no matter how high or low you are on the totem pole, you're not generally going to approach someone you perceive as lower. Most guys view a woman with kids as lower on the totem pole. If you want to say "oh, yeah, what if she was Scarlett Johannson??" OK, so that means that Scarlett Johannson can do it, but since most women aren't Scarlett Johannson, that's an almost irrelevant point. Bottom line is if you have kids with a guy, better make sure he'll stay with you because if he splits it's exponentially more difficult to get another man to come in on that situation. That's life. Nobody said it was fair.

BINGO!!!


Why do people climb Everest?? Because not everyone can do it
Why do people skydive (i used to) ?? because not everyone can do it
why do people squat (weight lift) 1000 lbs ?? Because not everyone can do it
why do people study for an exam so difficult that since 1992 only 20,000 odd thousand people have passed? Because ..well not many have the balls or the brains to go thru the hell to pass it (ok that was just for me!)

so why would someone like that want a girl...that everyone else has had? He's always done and gone for things that others CANNOT achieve...he thrives on it.

Men like that WONT settle for a former slattern.

my 2 cents


<edit> and if a women lies about it...TRUST me...we will know...either by your hand gestures..the manner you speak daily....or you might say something to me tomorrow..and 4 years down the road say something to me..and then 12 years down the road say something to a friend in front of me...and if those things are MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE...i'll know you lied....a good memory comes in handy in day to day life also.<end edit>

R

[joanna1]

Why or why not?

Would there have to be specific speculations?

Have you dated a man/woman with children? How did it go?

Yes, I would. No one to date has had children but I would never rule out a relationship because the man had children.