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Thread: I dont believe hes staying single

  1. #1
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    I dont believe hes staying single

    Heres the story I met him through online dating and the first date seemed fine laughing and joking etc, kept in touch after first date and weve became good mates and now started like FWB thing and we slept together the second time we met, and were still carrying on FWB hes not long out of relationship and I wanted fun too the thing is after we slept together hes hardly been text I know hes busy with lots of classes etc and texts when he can, just after he told me "dating" isnt for him hes staying single but were still doing FWB and hooking up soon again I don't want to ask him if hes seeing people I do want to but not freak him out.

    Heres the thing I don't think I believe him he hasnt accepted my Facebook request told me he never uses it when I seen he accepted people that day and this one girl on his page has done the complete same thing as him with everything private hes told me hes busy less texts hes took his ex off also but kept her on before accepting this "new girl" on it which is weird to me its driving me nuts and want to ask him any advice right now would help this is driving me crazy.

  2. #2
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    If you're not officially dating him, he probably is seeing other people. You and him just have a friends with benefits kind of thing. He told you he wasn't looking for a relationship so if that's what you're looking for then get rid of him and find a guy that has more time for you and is open to more of what you're looking for. You can still be his friend but I wouldnt put all my hope in him. If I felt like he was being secretive about shit and he had something going on with his ex then I wouldnt talk to him anymore. He may be busy but he seems sneaky.

    I believe in saying what you got to say so I think you should ask him whatever you want to. If you sleeping with someone you have a right to know these things. He doesn't seem to interested to be honest. Its more of a sex thing to him but yeah he is still sneaky. You should move on and dont let him use you for sex only if you're not happy about it.
    Last edited by Starnique; 03-10-13 at 05:13 AM.

  3. #3
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    Any chance you've actually fallen for him and can't handle being FWB with him anymore? I'm picking that up as an implication by the fact that you're all over the place in your mind because of him. The whole point of FWB is to be casual and not have to deal with emotional turmoil and emotional turmoil sounds like exactly what you're now caught up in.

    There is no way for us to know if he's dating anyone btw. Maybe he is, kinda weird that he's being like that about the facebook thing. But if it's REALLY a FWB relationship and you understand that and you DON'T have actual feelings for him then does it matter if he's dating anyone else or not? If you don't know about it and he's being deceptive then it's on him as far as being unfaithful goes correct? It's his responsibility and only his responsibility to stop himself from cheating.

  4. #4
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    Yeah, he does sound sneaky amongst a few other terms that come to mind, tee hee. Do you want a sneaky guy, can you handle it? Is it worth it? Nope. Sounds like your a romantic and this is a wonderful thing indeed; but with this you must be cautious with whom you allow to your bed. Guard yourself woman; hold out for someone worth your affections. The longer you spend dwelling on Mr.Wrong, the longer you spend not being open to Mr.Right.
    True enough, Mr'Right now does have a place but watch out for your heart. Not easy being intimate without developing further 'feelings' especially if you are a romantic which I think you are.
    Ditch him, in my humble opinion. Being alone is better than being with or wanting to be with someone who gives the wrap around. Cut him off and see how he does. We can make suggestions but only you know this person and the connection felt; just, for goodness sake, protect your heart and other things.

  5. #5
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    His ex cheated on him after 3 years together, I don't think its feeling there yet as i've met him a few times he is busy in what he does yet before he managed to find time also we know people from school that we hung around which I didnt know they knew him maybe thats why I asked if he'd meet again if I didnt bring up NSA and he said no whats confusing is hes keeping in touch even after first date I never get a man mind!

  6. #6
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    It seems you got most your answers already but I figured I would throw a few things in.

    First of all, FWB never works out well. Someone always wants more
    and someone always gets hurt when it ends. In that movie FWB with Justin and Mila,
    Im willing to bet how that movie ends, in real life actually happens maybe %1 of all
    FWB situations. %99 just go there separate ways and are not "Friends" any more.

    Second, hes obviously chosen to keep you out of his facebook for any number
    of reasons. How inclined would you be to continue being his bed buddy after
    you see pictures of him in other girls arms, especially since its clear that you
    have broken the first rule of FWB ... being .. rule number one.. Never get attached.
    Why risk adding you to his FB only for you to get jealous of something or someone
    and cut him off?

    Third. Maybe his X .. isn't such an X. Or if he gets a new GF, but still wants a fling on
    the side.. IE you... why risk adding you to his FB only for you to find out and say something
    to the person hes dating?

    And forth. If you wanted more from this guy like a relationship or which ever, You
    should have never slept with him. Ever heard the term "you appreciate things in life a lot
    more that you actually had to work for VS things that were given to you"?
    Sorry, the same goes for people. Not just possessions. If you put out on a first date, don't
    expect phone calls or text in the morning. It was just sex. Nothing more. Fwb is the same thing,
    Its just sex and.......... nothing more.
    But if you actually make a guy "work" to get into your pants, chances are, after you
    two do have sex, that hes going to be there in the morning and respect you.

    I have had 2 very long term relationships with women and 1 I married.
    The first one made me wait almost 2 months before we had sex.
    The other, despite seeing each other like 4 times a week, still made me
    work for it for like a month.

    Other girls that I had sex with on the first or second date or women I was "friends" with
    then one drunken night slept with ... not to be rude
    but... I honestly can't even remember their phone numbers.

    If you want to keep on sleeping with this guy just remember, all he views you as
    is a sex object. Someone he can call on a lonely Saturday night
    and nothing more will ever come of it. Your two people just having sex. Dont
    expect cutesy text messages or him making time to see you. Dont expect things
    people normally do in a relationship cause...... you're not in a relationship with him.
    You should view him in the same way.

    Sadly... when feelings start getting involved and it sounds like it has..
    its time to end it cause it only hurts more the longer you carry it on.
    Last edited by Raden; 03-10-13 at 09:23 AM.

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