The best thing to do after a rejection

[shafiee]

Hi,

I'm having a terrible time after being rejected by a girl. This is the second time I am experiencing this. The first time was also horrible. This time it is worse. I tried to have a pleasant walk, but all I could do was just walk... without having anyone to tag along... and with nowhere to hang around. I tried to ride my bicycle, and that too didn't make me feel any better. I tried to browse the internet, and all I could do was come to nothing. All I can think about is how wonderful she was... and how wonderful it would be to have her close to me... and how wonderful it would be to hear her voice once again. If only I can rest my head in her arms, and feel her stroke my hair. This is draging me down into a world of nothingness. And this is erasing the little hope I had with my life.

Is there anyone in this forum who had the same kind of experience? I would like to know what you did to recover from the situation.

Shafiee.

[whaywardj]

Is there anyone in this forum who had the same kind of experience?

No. Can't say I remember anyone here ever having had that kind of experience. Have you tried Barcelona?

[Junket]

Is there anyone in this forum who had the same kind of experience? I would like to know what you did to recover from the situation.

Walking always solved my problems.

Put on some good socks and some walkin' shoes and bring a bottle of water cause it sounds like you'll have to do more than walk around the block to get that rubbish off your mind.

[clynn]

Be really nice to yourself. Treat yourself.

You'll get over it, really you will. But it is awful, the worse pain ever. Yuck yuck yuck. it has happened to me many a time. I've gotten pretty good at rejection actually, ha ha!

[Junket]

One becomes numb to pain once subjected to enough of it.

[TAVS]

I started jogging and bike riding to clear my mind. I also started new hobbies.

[wavyglanbles]

I've just recently had a similar situation to you where I asked a girl out but turned out that she was already taken.

I can honestly say that the best healer is TIME....I can also tell you that it's perfectly NORMAL to be upset, and the best thing to do is to talk to a close friend about it, and also to do as many outdoor activities as possible such as walking, swimming. I also agree with one of the posts when it says to treat yourself, retail therapy does make you feel better.

I can tell you exactly what happened to me as a case study for you

I was in love with this girl (let's call her Miss X for privacy reasons)... and it took me 2 months to pluck up the courage to ask her out...During those 2 months, I was feeling sick,had difficulties eating, butterfiles, etc due to falling in love.

I finally asked her out and she said to me that she was in a 1.5 year realtionship. But she did praise my courage of telling her that I was in love with her, so that made me a little bit better, but was still upset in the end.

I was the same as you, I tried doing things such as walking, shopping, and watching DVDs but I still thought of her...I was thinking about the way she looked, spoke, acted, etc. Miss X was out of mind for small periods, as a wrestling fan..i found that watching wrestling videos created a great sourse of escapism for me as the content was far-fetched. But again, this was for short periods....

Have you tried listening to music while walking/cycling? Music does take your mind off things, when it's the right kind of music...alternative music such as manic street preachers, coldplay, etc are great to listen to as the songs calm you down yet don't contain much lyrics relating to the 'love' subject..but contain other elements of life so it doesn't remind you of your experience....don't listen to rap/r & b music as it mostly brags about 'having' girls, and pop love songs trigger upset.

But anyway, I also felt rejected by Miss X....When I asked her out, I did ask her if we could be friends. She happily agreed for us to be friends, but she didn't look or sound enthusiastic when I was talking to her. Luckily, this was the end of our course..and I then felt that to make myself feel better, I should talk to her one more time but just to wish her the best of luck for the future (as she is leaving to go to a new course in Manchester) and then go somewhere else to give her space...This did in fact happen, but the thing is, she wanted to continue the conversation between us...it may have been because she felt happy that I would never see her again but I didn't care, I wanted to end things with her nicely..without any sense of angst or bitterness. So this made me feel better.

It's now been a month now since our course has finished, but there have been short periods where I have had this girl in my head. But these periods have been shorter each day....so the time is the ultimate healer.

I was also lucky to have a few close friends to talk you about my experience, and they have given me great advice.

This may sound like a cliche, but there are plenty more fishes in the sea...and maybe there are a few more girls like the one you asked out...There is somebody for everyone, and the best thing about your adventure is that it has given you more experience for asking other girls out.

Your interest in walking suggests to me that you are an active bloke, and that you're not one of these people who stays in their bedrooms all day...that's already given you an advantage ahead of others when it comes to aiming for a better life. To still have positive feelings for this girl also tells me that you're a caring person; so with that persona alone, you do have hope in life as a lot of people respect that, and that will carry you through your time in this world. It will also help to have social nights out and find other girls.

I hope this helps

[prelude01]

I just hang out with friends and have a good time. Ask yourself do you really want a Girl friend? Would it really make you happy if you had one? What are you really after? If you answer some of these questions it might help. I say companions are just what it means someone who will acompany you though life. So if its a No ha ha its like a friend telling you nope don't want to go out tonight I'm tired.

[lilwing89]

The best thing to do is find another girl.

Maybe it's the way you ask a girl out? Are you like really good friends with her or what? The best way I find to ask someone is to know them as a friend first.