What's the point of it all?

[RobertWQ]

As I read this forum, and see in reality, I really wonder sometimes what the point of relationships, dating, etc. are from the perspective of logical, self-aware beings who are capable of doing more than just behaving like animals, unquestioningly reproducing for no ultimate purpose. I mean, what you read on this forum is a complete mess. You have breakups, fights, infidelity, STDs, more infidelity, multiple boyfriends, crushes on exes, affairs with exes, more STDs, unwanted pregnancies, "broken hearts," one partner wants the other disinterested partner back, guy catches his girlfriend in the sack with someone else, on and on.

What is the point of all this expenditure of energy, time, angst, misery, money, effort?


Children? HAHA. What's the point of having children? There are BILLIONS of people in the world. You're highly unlikely to be special in any historically meaningful way. You're just adding another drop in a very full ocean. And you're giving up all your freedom for 20+ YEARS to do this. For what?

Finding "The One?" HAHA. There is no such thing for many people. Anyone who thinks the Universe has guaranteed them a special love that will be blissful and wonderful and destined and forever needs to go look at how the Universe treats people in Sub-saharan Africa ... where thousands suffer and starve every day.

Sex? Ok I can see that one, but you don't need all the emotional melodrama for that.


Tell me, for independent people who aren't trying to find someone to take care of their financial needs, what is the point of all of this?


My answer: There is no point. This is just people being motivated by their evolutionary drives to reproduce. That's it. There is no higher point or purpose.

[surfhb2]

You sound like a complete Asshole

[RobertWQ]

That's really quite rude considering I was not insulting anyone. Perhaps you are the asshole? And I'm trying to logically analyze this. I'd rather hear why I'm wrong.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxmkiy9txBE

[random20]

Well I get the logical perspective here. It just feels good to have a partner when it's working right. So good that it's worth all the crap. We need someone to bond intimately with to feel whole. Those that don't need that are BLESSED. I wish I emotionally strong enough that I could survive without a partner but I am just not good single. I wouldn't consider myself codependent these days but at one point I probably was. I'm still just better with someone.... I love that feeling so much it's just hard to be without. Even if it means trouble in some way.

[basilandthyme]

Because when a relationship works, it's terrific.

You can cite all the bad stuff you read, but I assure you that among the posters are people who are in great relationships which fulfill their emotional needs


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[searock]

This is a place where people write about their relationship problems. People with no relationship problems exist (I also believe we are the majority, but that's just a personal opinion, optimistic maybe), we just don't write about our happy relationships on this forum because we don't need help. Also, it would probably be quite boring after a while :-).

[surfhb2]

That's really quite rude considering I was not insulting anyone. Perhaps you are the asshole? And I'm trying to logically analyze this. I'd rather hear why I'm wrong.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxmkiy9txBE

I never called you an asshole....you just sound like one.

Carry on

[RobertWQ]

That's still quite rude. You sound like you are a terrible, cowardly human being who, like our esteemed Washington politicians, dodges what they've previously said by invoking irrelevant technicalities when confronted. You sound like your penis is 1 inch long, like your girlfriend is a whore. I'm not saying any of those things are true mind you, that's just what you sound like.

[searock]

It's like if you went on a "depression problems" forum and inferred from your observations there that "all people are depressed". Makes no sense.

[RobertWQ]

Valid point. However from my experience, nearly all relationships are tumultuous, messy, involve unintended outcomes, hurt feelings, sap time and energy, and almost always fail. Are the few that succeed really worth all this? Would people CHOOSE to spend their time this way if they weren't driven by evolutionary impulses?

Somehow I doubt it. I think if you somehow turned off the evolutionary drive to reproduce, and the cultural imperative to find a mate, that many people, in spite of the potential happiness that the "right one" might bring them, would simply choose to spend their time on other things.

[searock]

I'm surprised that most of the relationships you've come in contact with are as bad as you say. I know people in happy relationship, I myself am in one, and I can assure you it's one of the best feelings. IMO there's no point being in a relationship if it makes you miserable. Relationships should make you feel happy, fulfilled, content. These kinds of relationships do exist.

[RobertWQ]

Well, I'll keep an open mind.

[basilandthyme]

I too am surprised that you've had such bad experiences. While I've had my share of failed relationships, I do recall most of them fondly....and those experiences certainly didn't put me off trying again.

Perhaps your 'girlfriend picker' is broken? Perhaps you're not ruthless enough? Bad relationship choices will lead us to bad relationship experiences.

[RobertWQ]

True. It's not just based on me though. It's kind of based on what I see on a regular basis. So much effort being put forth for something that to me doesn't necessarily have a higher purpose. I mean, even the most basic of organisms can reproduce, but only people can create great science and art ... I just wonder at all the energy spent toward courtship, romance, sex, etc. and wonder what the purpose really is when the overall outcome is the same as when any other species copulates.

[vashti]

There may be no other purpose than to attempt to make your time while living more pleasant... Given the choice, most people find it better to be connected to others than to be alone. You are free to take a different path if you don't find this one meaningful.