Dont know what is the right thing to do..

[sara22]

I am a 28 year old female. I am madly in love with my best friend who is also a girl. She love me a lot too. We have been living together as roommates for the past few years. Now she is getting married to a guy. It is an arranged marriage. I know for sure that she does not love him, but she has to do it to keep her parents/family happy. My family expects me to marry a guy soon as well. I cannot bear the thought of living without her and I know she feels the same. We have a perfectly simple and happy life going on for us. We mean the world to each other. But if we were to tell this to our parents, that we want to be together forever, it will shatter their world. We have kind of decided to get married to guys as per our family's wishes and being around each other as much as possible, but it seems soo soo hard and I keep having second thoughts about it! I don't know what to do. We both love our families a lot and don't want to hurt them. But I really don't know if I can live without her. Please let me know what you think.

[michelle23]

The only solution i can think of is to run away together or tell your families the truth and face the fallout. You cant live a lie. Follow your heart and do whatever makes you happy

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[sara22]

Wouldn't that be selfish? To be happy ourselves we will be hurting everyone who is close to us.

[michelle23]

Your family obviously have religious beliefs that will never fit in with what you want/need. I know its difficult to turn your back on everything you know but if they wont allow you to be who you are and to make your own decisions in life then you really have no other choice..

Youll be miserable marrying a man and forced to sleep with him etc if your attracted to women. You will be living a lie and cheating on your husband with a woman.. its not worth it IMO

Your an adult, you should be free to make your own choices and if your family cant accept that-then maybe you need to be selfish to make you happy.

I dont see it as selfish btw. I see your arranged marriage that you dont want as a form of slavery and i wouldnt go through with it if i were you

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[TheEvilJester]

I guess it is kind of hard for a lot of us to comment on this. If you ask me, I cannot see arranged marriage as anything but wrong. But, there are cultures that believe in it, so who am I to say that they are wrong?

However, your predicament is a great example of why I have personally alwys felt it is wrong. There is NOTHING selfish about wanting to live your life, about wanting to be who you truly are. There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to find true love. Love is a wonderful thing when you can actually find it.

What is VERY wrong is for anybody to force their beliefs on you, or to tell you how to live your life. If your family would want to force you to marry a man when, not only do you not love him, but you like women, then how is that not selfish of THEM? If your family truly loves you, they should want you to be happy. I mean, that isn't saying it wouldn't be hard. If they truly believe in their ways, then it will be hard to understand why you do not. But, your life is your own to live, not theirs.

I know this is easier said than done, but you should both talk to your families. Hopefully they can accept you both for who you truly are. If they cannot, then maybe you need to keep them at arm's length until such a time that they can learn to accept you. It stinks, but sometimes families are honestly not the best people to have in our lives. So, if they cannot accept you, then maybe you are better off without them until they can. But, all of this has to be your decision to make, and your battle to fight. I hope some of us have been able to help you put things in perspective, but in the end we cannot tell you waht to do. It has to be your decision. Good luck. I really hope everything works out for you.