How secure is this approach against pregnancy? Will a girl likely be OK with it?

[RobertWQ]

After giving it further thought, I couldn't do the pill plus condom long term. Condoms are fine at the beginning of a relationship, but I wouldn't be OK with knowing that I would have to use them until I was menopausal.

For the record, I never had an accidental pregnancy during all my years on the pill. And the attitude of the original poster you referred to isn't my style.

I'm sure not every woman is like that one. However I'd have to trust her completely or nearly so. And there is no one I trust completely except myself.

[RobertWQ]

Just make sure shes aware from the start that you dont want kids. Theres no point her wasting 10years on you and then finding out you wont give her what she wants

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I plan to be very upfront about it, for that reason as well as helping her to understand the motives for my behavior / limits.

[smackie9]

I agree this is something that has to be brought up but I don't think you have to explain in great detail as to why. I was always up front with both never wanting to get married or have kids....it just took finding the right guy.

I'm sure you will find the right gal.

Ya ya I got the "Oh you will change your mind someday". I got blown off by my doctor about getting fixed since I was 28. It wasn't til I was 44 till she finally let me see a surgeon. I complained to the surgeon on how long I had to wait. He told me I was an adult, and it should have been my decision to have it done at 28. I was pissed off. So if you are serious about getting a vasectomy there is a doctor out there that will do the surgery, you just have to be persistent.

[hatesthis]

On just the oral only aspect. No I wouldn't like that as an only intimate option with a man I was into. It would not be enough intimacy for me like having sex would give me. 2nd sounds better but handing over a morning after pill to someone sounds cold to me, I don't like that part of #2. But is just how I feel.

[michelle23]

Get a vesectomy. I can just imagine some poor girl getting pregnant by accident and you accusing her of "trapping you"

Ive been on the pill 5years and never pregnant but if i did it would be a complete accident. Some forms of bc dont suit some people ie the patch or an implant may not work for me but works v well for a friend etc

Just be aware that IF it happens, it doesnt mean shes untrustworthy or she trapped you on purpose. Sometimes these things do just happen and i dont think its fair that every man who doesnt want a kid accuses her of that

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[Valixy]

You could have an accident every time you drive but you don't stop driving because of that, do you? There's a risk factor in everything we do, even in sex, but many people who don't want children succeed to practice safe sex happily for a long time. Don't overcomplicate things.

Do not get a vasectomy. Your idea and feelings about having children might totally change in a few years. That is the biggest risk I see from your comments, that you might do something like that to yourself and 10 years from now you could be longing to have a child with the woman of your life.

[smackie9]

Do anal.....................

[smackie9]

This is something that needs to be discussed with whomever you become intimate with. Also bring up the discussion of abortion or absolving yourself from any responsibility for an unplanned pregnancy if you are that serious about it.

[tehwarlock]

Safest is not to do sex. If you cant take responsibilty then dont do it. Otherwise its safer to use two condoms. Keep sex and alcohol seperate and know well the person you doing it with. Talk about contraception with girl before the sex not after.

Use two condoms? Simultaneously? It's actually less safe because you'd have latex rubbing on latex making both more likely to break! What's next? Telling him to punch a hole in it to prevent air being trapped inside!?

Use a trusted brand of condoms, make sure they're the right size for you (and unexpired), unwrap safely (no teeth/sharp objects!), apply correctly (pinching the tip, unrolling it properly), ensure you have proper lubrication at all times, don't spend too much time inside after ejaculating (risk of leakage).
Should it break during intercourse, you're most likely to feel it and if you thoroughly cleaned your penis and flushed your urethra after the last ejaculation, chances of pregnancy are pretty low (assuming it didn't break immediately after or during your ejaculation). Being a fairly gray area at that point, you might want to ask her to take a morning after pill.
I've been sexually active for the past 3 years, only used condoms and when I actually did have one break (on three occasions), it was my fault for using one too small/thin or allowing it to get dry.

[AnErin]

You are obviously against the idea of having kids. There is not "ideal" time to have them either. 20 years of SOME part of your life gets ruined.
It is highly doubtful that you will one day say, "I want kids".
Just store sperm, get the snip-snip and be done with it. But STILL use a condom for STD reasons.

And yes you are VERY correct about not being able to live the life you want when the kid arrives.