Should i get back with wife?

[Scrappy]

I have been with my wife tens years and married five . She recently left me for about the third time 6 months ago. We have an 8 year old daughter who is not biologically mine but i have raised her and love her as mine. We met tens years ago and dated, we spilt up she met someone else and got pregnant by a drug addict boyfriend and we met up and got back together so i helped raise her daughter.

Each time we break up wife does not let me see my daughter and is quite nasty to me. We have always had a very volatile relationship we were arguing 3 days after we got married. Everyone tells me that i should not go back with my wife. That all is doing is controlling and using me. When she left me this time i read a text on her phone that she sent to her mum saying she was only with me for my money. (I work she never has). This time with the split it is different because i met someone else. This girl at work who told me she like me earlier this year , i had always liked her. We never done anything about it and the girl always kept away as she knew i was married etc. however in sept i started spending time with her and it has been so good . She is such a lovely person. I went on holiday on my own for a week and when i got back i couldn't wait to see her again.

However since i got back my wife has started contacting me, she has heard i was seeing someone and it has messed my head up. She let me see my daughter when for the last few months she told me my daughter hated me. She is now telling me she misses me and wants to come home. Everyone tells me she only wants me back cos she doesn't want anyone else to have me and its obvious as she didn't want to know before. I just miss my daughter so much. I had to stop seeing the girl at work as i need to clear my head. People tell me I'm a fool if i take my wife back and she uses me and uses daughter to control me and that we will just fall back into arguing and just split up again eventually.

[smackie9]

Yup I agree with everyone else 100% Do not let your wife manipulate you anymore. As for the daughter, you need to realize the more you remain in the picture, the worse things will be for her because of your involvement with your wife keeps the environment dysfunctional.

Seek out legal counsel and know your rights. See if you have any legal rights to visitation of your daughter because you were her soul provider....it's something to look into. Get a divorce.

[Amazing Grace]

Either way, it hurts. But you have another chance at happiness with a lovely lady. Take it. I agree with smackie9, get your legal advise and allow your heart to open up to this new woman who is so good to you. Life is too short for those who will use children to keep you around, and use you for your money.

[Boisdevie]

Your wife is a ****ing loony and you are an idiot for getting involved with a woman who was pregnant to somebody else. Get some therapy to hep you stop being so stupid if that's possible.

[HeartIsAching]

She's quite definitely controlling. She uses your daughter against you when you won't give her her way. She is now trying to get you back because you're with someone else and happy without her... 20:1 odds that if you give in, she'll lose interest and dump you fairly soon after.

Hell, she's already said that she's only with you for your money. Bet she's beginning to feel the pinch.

[michelle23]

Get legal advice and see if you have rights over your daughter. Your married so Im not sure if that automatically gives you father rights but I think it does.
Dont go back to your wife. Start divorce proceedings and move on.

Its probably too soon to get involved with someone else though. Maybe you just need to be alone for awhile and have some time to become more independent and to boost your confidence etc coz this bitch probably has you worn down with all her abuse.

Work on you and in time you will be ready to find love again but set your standards a lot higher in future

[Scrappy]

Well i spent christmas alone, i took presents over to them at wife's mothers house, i thought she would call my daughter to the door to see me but they didn't just took the presents and i never saw my daughter all over christmas.

Wife still wants to get back together. I know im a fool. This other girl was so lovely and I've really hurt her. She has asked me to keep my distance from her at work as she now needs to have time to heal from me.

If i give it one more go with wife do you think we will work? I just want to see my daughter so much.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Stop calling her your daughter. When she's older, she will probably contact you..if she wants to.

Your wife is a cunt. Kill that bitch.

[Valixy]

Well i spent christmas alone, i took presents over to them at wife's mothers house, i thought she would call my daughter to the door to see me but they didn't just took the presents and i never saw my daughter all over christmas.

Wife still wants to get back together. If i give it one more go with wife do you think we will work? I just want to see my daughter so much.

Your ex hasn't changed a bit. She's the same selfish manipulative woman she's always been. Why would you go back to her then? What is it from her behaviour that makes you think that it could work this time?

Also, try to accept that you won't be able to see her daughter if that's what she decides... It must be hard but going back for her daughter won't make things work between you two.

Maybe you could find yourself someone nice and have a child yourself?

[smackie9]

Again get a divorce and seek out legal councel. Yes you are f uckin fool. No things will remain a shit show....your wife just wants to see you lonely and in misery.

[Scrappy]

Well I've managed to hold off for now, but its hard because she wont let me see daughter so i feel the only way to see her is to take wife back.

Everyone is telling me that we will split up again , even my mum who my wife doesn't let me see tells me to not get back with her.

[smackie9]

So you won't listen to anyone here, not even those who love you and are closest to you.....there is a reason why we are tell you not to, it's a losing battle, you lose, your daughter loses, those around you lose....You are not doing your daughter any great reward by going back to misery.....a child would be happier if that are not exposed to such dyfunction, the truth be told she would be better off without your presence.

[Scrappy]

Well i did love my wife, i miss the family thing.

When she got in touch asking to see me after she had found out i was seeing someone, when i saw her i felt different towards her , i didn't feel attracted to her any more, not just in a physical way, when my friend asked me why my feeling may have changed i said it was cos of the other girl i had met.

I guess i have some love for her as i did marry her and like i said i miss the family thing.

[mike_show]

life is moving forward, you can't god back to the before such as family thing, the little girl is mislead by their real mum actually. So Gentlement, it's real time to face the music and start a new life. According to your post above, I thought you are a man tend to sacrifice, considering giving is a pleasure, which is a nice quality, but also a weak point for a women who wanna use you. You saved her life years ago and an keeping live with her, which don't means she love you turely, maybe some appreciation from the heart sometime even a devil can. Now it's time to save your life, coz a fair. You will have a new family, a new baby call you daddy.

[bcgirl]

Once you take the wife back, you will end up even more miserable than you are now. Your wife will always hold the grudge of you meeting a lovely girl at work and will get her revenge by cheating on you with another chump and getting pregnant