What to make of this situation

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I really want to curse him out. Maybe I will call from another phone or is that just crazy?

Yes, that's crazy. Along with the rest of what you've been doing for the last few weeks. You need to realize that you messed this up.

[ChloeGirl]

How did I mess it up though? He said he tired of me getting mad and talking mean to him and then apologizing for it. Half the time, I don't know what I be doing wrong though. I don't even know what the hell I be apologizing for. If I don't do something he like then I'm being mean. I was in a abusive relationship with the father of my child. Now, I feel the need to stand up for myself more. Sometimes I can be very straight forward and get in my moods but that's only when I felt like he was being one sided about something. I don't see what I did that was that bad tbh.

So, how did I mess it up?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I meant you messed it up originally with the whole birthday thing.

This time, it sounds like things were going okay, then you "got into it"...I wonder who started that fight?

If you have to keep apologizing, you probably aren't going to make him happy, so you should just call it quits. You remind me of this one chick I used to mess with..she never learns. I think you should stay away from casual relationships as a rule.

[ChloeGirl]

I don't even know how it started. I feel so sad. I'm just going to let it go and stay away from casual dating.

[Wakeup]

Well I am really sad. I really just want an answer but I guess I'll never get it.

I'm just going to bow out gracefully at this point. I was looking at Swimfan earlier, about the crazy stalker girl and I would never act that way but men who use women deserve that kind of treatment. No I'm not bitter, I'm just saying.

Take responsibility for your own actions. If you dont want to be just booty then dont be just booty.

Learn from this so you dont get yourself into a non-committed thing again with some other guy.

Save your oral skills for someone who is showing you he loves you in non-sexual actions.

[Wakeup]

Btw. You didnt mess anything up. You just asked for something more then he wants to give you. He was playing you and you are better off without him.

Nothing would have changed no matter what you did or didnt do so dont blame yourself for him not talking to for voicing what u want. Just get away from him and stay away now.

[ChloeGirl]

That really did make me feel better and you're right. Now I can walk away knowing that it really wasn't anything that I did because I was blaming myself. The only time I was mean as he put it to him, was when I felt like he was being all about himself like he usually is. Now I know that I had a right to express how I felt because he wasn't treating me right and nothing I did was ever good enough. I am no longer going to text or call him. I am just going to move on with my life. I know I am a good person and he knows it too, so I am not going to let him keep playing me like I'm not. He's just manipulating me into thinking that I didn't treat him right so he can continue to get what he wants out of me. **** him at this point. I'm hurt, more so disappointed, but I'll get over it.


Thanks

[searock]

It's good that you aren't going to text or call him, but also make sure that if he texts or calls you, you do NOT reply.

[UKRomantic]

I understand what you all are saying but I do not lack self respect. I just really liked him, that's all. I am not this way with other guys. I'm saying that to let you know that this is not the way I normally act.

I wouldn't say that he is not that into me because he wants me like crazy when I am catering to him and doing things that he likes to do. Using me, yes. I feel used right now. and its not a good feeling.

I'm not going to worry about it but it hurts and I do have every intention of not speaking to him but then when I see him unexpected, it totally throws me off. I'm just sad right now. I can have just about any other good guy but he's the only one that I want. Its just hard because he knows all of this and he keeps playing with my feelings and it makes me mad because I think he does it on purpose.
Maybe he has a control issue? I understand that once I let it go, it will no longer be a problem. The sooner I let it go, the better.

I stopped reading here. You are making excuse after excuse for him, rather than just accepting the fact he's using you.

You deserve more than someone who's into you when he feels like it, surely?

The sooner you cut him out, the better.

Also, I love the line "I'm not like this with anyone else" - It's quite a common line, the next time you meet someone you like, you'll be saying the exact same.

[ChloeGirl]

Also, I love the line "I'm not like this with anyone else" - It's quite a common line, the next time you meet someone you like, you'll be saying the exact same.

You don't know me to make that assumption about me. Like I said, no I wont.

[Wakeup]

I meant you messed it up originally with the whole birthday thing.

This time, it sounds like things were going okay, then you "got into it"...I wonder who started that fight?

If you have to keep apologizing, you probably aren't going to make him happy, so you should just call it quits. You remind me of this one chick I used to mess with..she never learns. I think you should stay away from casual relationships as a rule.

You notice how he says he "used to "mess" with?" You really have to learn to listen to what a guy is saying Chloe. No girl needs to continue to be "messed" with. There is nothing wrong with looking after your own emotional health and asking for more then what you're getting. If it isn't given when you outright ask, then it's certainly not going to be yours if you just keep giving and giving and he just keeps taking.

This time, it sounds like things were going okay, then you "got into it"...I wonder who started that fight?

By "things were going okay" A blowjob in the car? That's just you giving and him taking once again. Nothing "okay" with settling for that when you want more. Just learn to talk calmly and straight forward. No point screaming for what you need so learn that when you're in your next relationship. This guy is a player who will keep taking if you keep giving. Stop that merry-go-round now. If he contacts you it will just be to see if he can get another orgasm from you so don't get all a tither and think "oh he must really like me and he's come back" It won't mean that.

[Cerby]

he also needs to feel that he "owns" her... that she will always be there whenever he wants her.

As a guy, I don't know what this even means. You give us too much credit Searock. We seek the path of least resistance, not some psychological desire for domination over our female counterparts. Those who seek to "own" also seek to "control", which is a behaviour he hasn't exhibited.

He is playing games for sure, but only with the intention of getting some easy action, nothing else.

[searock]

As a guy, I don't know what this even means.

The fact that you're a guy isn't the reason you don't know what this means. There are women who need to feel that they "own" guys too. It's not a gender thing, it's an insecurity/possessiveness thing.

Anyway, you may be right that this guy in particular is just doing it to get an easy lay.

[Wakeup]

The fact that you're a guy isn't the reason you don't know what this means. There are women who need to feel that they "own" guys too. It's not a gender thing, it's an insecurity/possessiveness thing.

Anyway, you may be right that this guy in particular is just doing it to get an easy lay.

I dunno, Sea. I could be wrong but: I think guys (and girls) that have a need to "own" want more then a non-committed shag. Most players with options wouldn't be sussed about losing one he/she has shelved. They will attempt a do-over though if the door has never been closed... like in Op's instance.

[searock]

I dunno, Sea. I could be wrong but: I think guys (and girls) that have a need to "own" want more then a non-committed shag. Most players with options wouldn't be sussed about losing one he/she has shelved. They will attempt a do-over though if the door has never been closed... like in Op's instance.

You may be right, it is definitely true in most cases, but I think that some people need that feeling of being able to use another person whenever they please, be it for sexual favors or for an ego boost and so on, without wanting a committed relationship with them. It's the reason why some people lead other people on even if they don't want a relationship with them, they just crave the ego boost and unconditionate adoration that they receive... and if you threaten to take that unconditionate adoration away, they panic and will desperately try to get it back via manipulation.

In this case though it is totally possible that he's just playing this game to get an easy lay.