My Girlfriend broke my trust can we stay friends?

[Sosilent]

This is a pretty long story so try and bear with me. Me and my girl have been together for almost a year and was my first love. I'm 23 and she is 19. One night she texted me telling me she stayed over at a guys house without telling me so I insisted we have a chat. I had quite the lengthy chat with my girl and found out some fairly disturbing news. First the good news; the guy that she stayed over was a really good friend she new all her life, and they did sleep in different beds. I was fine with this.

I then went to ask her if she stayed over at other guys houses without me knowing. I also asked her if some of those guys were past friends with benefits. She was very honest and told me that some of the guys were past friends with benefits but assured me most of them had girlfriends. She also told me she would drink sometimes and then crash at their houses. As soon as I heard this info she knew I was very concerned/sickened, as I was almost ready to just give her gift and leave, but she really didn't want me to leave so we continued to talk.

I asked her to stop the overnights at past FWBs houses, or our relationship will end. She told me she would stop but I really don't know if I can trust her after knowing this information.

Mind you this was my first "real" girlfriend and she took my virginity as well, so its possible she thought I'd be immune to her tricks.

I don't know why I wanted to stay friends, I guess I'm still attached to her somewhat, but maybe that will fade soon?

So, is there anything in this relationship left to save, or are these red flags and I should tell her we should break up for good and possibly stay friends?

[Rowen]

Mind you this was my first "real" girlfriend and she took my virginity as well, so its possible she thought I'd be immune to her tricks.

Let me give you a bit of a clue... If she's being honest about it with you, she's not playing any "tricks." That being said, your seemingly spiteful attitude suggests to me you're unable to carry out this relationship. As long as she slept in separate beds as these guys, she is being faithful, and therefore, there are no "tricks."

You need to grow up and act your age. If you continue acting immature when she's being honest and open with you, you're going to be single for a long time because when someone opens up to you, they're hoping you'll listen and be rational.

But you need to decide for yourself if you can handle this.

[Sosilent]

Let me give you a bit of a clue... If she's being honest about it with you, she's not playing any "tricks." That being said, your seemingly spiteful attitude suggests to me you're unable to carry out this relationship. As long as she slept in separate beds as these guys, she is being faithful, and therefore, there are no "tricks."

You need to grow up and act your age. If you continue acting immature when she's being honest and open with you, you're going to be single for a long time because when someone opens up to you, they're hoping you'll listen and be rational.

But you need to decide for yourself if you can handle this.

She was only honest with me once I asked her about if some of the guys she was staying the night were past FWB's. She didn't straight up tell me about this, and that's what concerns me, and especially since she was drinking at those guys houses since I know how horny she gets when she drinks.

You're saying you could just go ahead in the relationship like nothing happened after knowing this information?

[Rowen]

She was only honest with me once I asked her about if some of the guys she was staying the night were past FWB's. She didn't straight up tell me about this, and that's what concerns me, and especially since she was drinking at those guys houses since I know how horny she gets when she drinks.

You're saying you could just go ahead in the relationship like nothing happened after knowing this information?

But you asked, and she gave you an honest answer. She just as easily could have lied, and then you never would have found out.

Anyone who trusts their partner can. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

[smackie9]

Even tho she was honest, she has this policy, "Don't ask, don't tell". She knew it would have been a deal breaker for you. No matter how up front she seems to be with you now, doesn't confirm you can trust her. Words are easy to say, but actions speak louder. She did withheld this information from you, and in this case it is just as bad as lying. I do not think this is so innocent of her "oops I forgot to mention the fact I sleep over at other guy's places". What is disturbing is the fact she sees nothing inappropriate about it...that is your red flag. She's hardly mature enough to acknowledge boundaries when being in a committed relationship, so don't expect any real changes to be made here. There is a big jump in maturity from 19 to 23 even tho there is a 4 years age difference....she is just stepping into adulthood while you have been in it for awhile, this is why you are seeing issues here.

You two are on different pages here, and if you stay with her you will always have doubts....it's time to get out and find someone closer to your age that respects and knows what it means to have relationship boundaries.

Staying friends? what the hell for? You won't be able to move on properly and hell you need to get away from her or you will end up one of her sleep over lackies.

[Sosilent]

Even tho she was honest, she has this policy, "Don't ask, don't tell". She knew it would have been a deal breaker for you. No matter how up front she seems to be with you now, doesn't confirm you can trust her. Words are easy to say, but actions speak louder. She did withheld this information from you, and in this case it is just as bad as lying. I do not think this is so innocent of her "oops I forgot to mention the fact I sleep over at other guy's places". What is disturbing is the fact she sees nothing inappropriate about it...that is your red flag. She's hardly mature enough to acknowledge boundaries when being in a committed relationship, so don't expect any real changes to be made here. There is a big jump in maturity from 19 to 23 even tho there is a 4 years age difference....she is just stepping into adulthood while you have been in it for awhile, this is why you are seeing issues here.

You two are on different pages here, and if you stay with her you will always have doubts....it's time to get out and find someone closer to your age that respects and knows what it means to have relationship boundaries.

Staying friends? what the hell for? You won't be able to move on properly and hell you need to get away from her or you will end up one of her sleep over lackies.

I have heard girls mature faster than guys, but I guess this is not the case here.

Not sure why I wanted to stay friends, maybe cause I was new to sex, and for some odd reason I do have feelings for her, but not as strong as they used to be. Perhaps the feeling will fade, but if I broke her off, I'd have only one other female friend to talk with, who I'm not THAT close with.

[smackie9]

I know guys who dated teenage girls, and soon as they turned drinking age, bam! they dumped their BF because they discovered night clubs.

I'm not saying she is childish immature, I'm saying she doesn't have the experience to be adult mature.

You don't need female friends....this is why you are 23 and only have had one GF experience. You need to have some close bro friends. You hang out with guys your chances of meeting women will increase by 100%.

[demo45151]

its depend on you. what you think

[KingZ]

Even tho she was honest, she has this policy, "Don't ask, don't tell". She knew it would have been a deal breaker for you. No matter how up front she seems to be with you now, doesn't confirm you can trust her. Words are easy to say, but actions speak louder. She did withheld this information from you, and in this case it is just as bad as lying. I do not think this is so innocent of her "oops I forgot to mention the fact I sleep over at other guy's places". What is disturbing is the fact she sees nothing inappropriate about it...that is your red flag. She's hardly mature enough to acknowledge boundaries when being in a committed relationship, so don't expect any real changes to be made here. There is a big jump in maturity from 19 to 23 even tho there is a 4 years age difference....she is just stepping into adulthood while you have been in it for awhile, this is why you are seeing issues here.

You two are on different pages here, and if you stay with her you will always have doubts....it's time to get out and find someone closer to your age that respects and knows what it means to have relationship boundaries.

Staying friends? what the hell for? You won't be able to move on properly and hell you need to get away from her or you will end up one of her sleep over lackies.

I know guys who dated teenage girls, and soon as they turned drinking age, bam! they dumped their BF because they discovered night clubs.

I'm not saying she is childish immature, I'm saying she doesn't have the experience to be adult mature.

You don't need female friends....this is why you are 23 and only have had one GF experience. You need to have some close bro friends. You hang out with guys your chances of meeting women will increase by 100%.

Smackie came in here and killed it. Did her country some good, too.

ily smackie omgg