How long to wait for her???

[achilleslee]

Hi people, i need your advice.
I started dating one girl 19 months ago. We fell in love each other, but she had boyfriend.
They were together seven years at that time.After some time she broke up with him because of her (she was not so happy with him, she was happier with me at that moment) and because of me because i truly love her and she wanted me.
Now it is one year after their breakup, but she has still in head him, and also me. That is the reason why we cannot have relationship. She dont want to hurt him by our relationship.
Please help me, i really need some advice. I asked her many times, when we will have relationship, and every time she answered me that i have to wait.
She said today she want have her head clean to one year. I really want her and it makes me angry when she dont want have relationship with me because of him. She told me few times i am not normal, because i am angry.
It is too much waiting to get her head clean...
She wants to be friends with her ex, because she says he is special to her. And i see when i am trying tu push her to this relationship, she becames cold and tells me things like- i am not that person she wanted,
because i still push her...
Help me please...

[Kromat83]

You are wasting your time with her, when she still isn't over her ex.
19 months and still not in a relationship with her, there is definitely something wrong there.

The problem is her blaming others, and making you feel guilty.

She needs to be to want to be another relationship, or she'll be wasting both her and their time.
P.S. If after about 2-3 months, it doesn't seem like a relationship is possible, I would have left if it kept dragging on, as you missed some opportunities by being around her and will be hard to let go, the longer you stay.

She needs to fix herself before anything will happen and you can stay with her, but for what price and her saying that you are pushing her after 19 months is just ridiculous.

I would leave her, but it's up to you to decide.

[achilleslee]

Thank you very much!!! I also think that one year after their breakup is long time enough to decide, also in case she broke up because of me and her . One thing i havent got clean. I am not really special to her??? Because she brokeup from seven year old relationship and send away person who was her surety. I dont understand why she year before when they broke up- she was really into relationship with me and also told me that she wants relationship after year of her breakup. And now, she says she must have her head clean and also i am not normal because it needs some time. Also she told me few times i am not that person that she wanted, but it is all about my anger- i want relation ship which she dont gives me....why you think she changed ? And why she hell think I changed, just because my pressure on her???

[Kromat83]

I don't see why your obsessing about someone that isn't giving you what you want.
It is strange that it took her over 1 year to decide rather you are the right person for her.

I seriously think it would be better if you two parted ways, as she clearly doesn't know what she wants.