Do I have a problem? I don't have much luck with girls.

[Evongelo]

I appear to have everything a girl wants: I'm tall (6'3"), I'm decent looking (maybe a 6?), I have a good build (broad shoulders), I dress well, I keep myself groomed, and I'm confident in my mannerisms and the way I speak, I make girls (or anyone) laugh, and I can small talk well.

HOWEVER.....I don't seem to be able to get girls interested in me romantically. In fact, I feel as though I make them uncomfortable. The girl's I've asked out either just had a kid, just got divorced, or have a boyfriend. With the exception of a couple, however, they don't seem like they would've said yes if the case were different. It's hard to describe, but I'll give the example that just happened to me tonight.

I thought the girl who worked at a drug store was cute, so I told her she was very pretty. She laughed and we talked for a minute, but I found out she'd just been through a divorce so I didn't ask her out. Five days later (today) I saw her again and I told her I liked her and I'd love to take her out, so if she were ever interested for her to say something to me. She said she'd let me know, but not in the cute, flirty way. It was more like, "I really want to get out of here so I'm just gonna say what he wants to hear so he leaves me alone". Granted, she'd just been through a divorce which is why I never asked her out, I just told her I was interested and left it open for her. So I just don't get the uncomfortable vibe I got from her. What is it about me that, excuse the language, just seems to make girl's dry up like a desert (if you catch my drift.....)?

[basilandthyme]

Perhaps your approach is wrong?

I'm wondering where you're meeting girls who you ask out. For what it's worth, I'd never go out with a random who approaches me in public...so I hope you're not doing that. If I was going to date someone who came to my workplace, I'd want to get some type of rapport going with him before I accepted a date. Most of all, I'd be inclined to date someone who I got to know via friends or sport or a social activity.

Get to know someone well enough to establish their availability. When the two of you are easily able to share some laughs and chatter then ask her out. And back to the girl in the drugstore, I also would avoid someone who told me I was pretty. I want to know that I'm being asked out because we get on so well....not because of my appearance.

Does this help at all?

[Evongelo]

It does help thank you. I have all the confidence in the world but I have so little experience with girls I think I just get out of sorts and force things. So many people say "just go for it" but I guess it depends on the situation. I go to this store often so I guess I could've just kept doing that, said hi here and there, have a few conversations, see how it went, and then ask her out naturally. I'm just more direct and literal and I don't enjoy playing these games. It is what it is though and I have to adapt.

[HDBadger]

It sounds like your luck just hasn't been great. When you boil it down, attracting women is just a numbers game. If you approach a couple dozen women, at least one will probably give you a phone number.

You can try sticking to your social circle/people you know better to find women, but there are a finite number of options there.

If I'm out, and I see a woman who catches my eye, I talk to her. If she seems cool, I maybe press for a phone number. If it doesn't work out I walk away.

That's all you can really do man. Most women aren't like us. Most women usually require 42 different switches to be thrown before they even consider a date or sex. It's annoying and, frankly, most women aren't worth the effort. But there are some good ones out there. They're just in the minority. Keep at it, and don't overthink things.