how to reignite the spark and avoid problems

[weecee]

hi im knew here and though my question may seem like a trivial one I am at a loss as to how to fix it myself. Not sure whether i am overthinking things or not so any advice from another perspective would be great.

Basic facts: myself and OH have been together just shy on 6 years this april.I am 22 he is 27. Been living together in our own place for 1 year. We have an amazing relationship as far as affection, understanding, fun etc however the sexual side to our relationship is starting to dwindle dramatically more so in the past 6 months. On average 2-3 times pm compared to 2-3 times pw previously. At first I put it down to both of us working, (we both work long hours) and the general settling in to a new routine together. However I have noticed an increase in his porn use over recent months and a lot more frequently. I am associating our dwindling sex life to this as it seems more effort is being put in to finding, watching and deleting videos than is actually put in to this side of our relationship. If it wasnt for this fact I wouldnt have a problem with it at all but as i see it it is affecting my relationship and also starting to affect my self esteem. I really feel I need to sort this out before it becomes an issue and we get stuck in a rut which could spiral. Other than talking, which I have tried numerous times only to get a short clammed up response along the lines of "sorry, i'll stop if it annoys you" im not able to keep the conversation open long enough to be able to even start sorting things out.

Any suggestions as to how i can get through to him and manage a decent conversation without him clamming up, getting defensive or agreeing with then ignoring the issue would be much appreciated!

[Cerby]

Actions speak louder than words. Buy some new lingerie, something he hasn't been before, and give him a show. Or find whatever turns him on and use it.

Sex with the same person day in and out can get boring, adding spice is what works. My gf and I role-play, use different dress ideas, find semi-public places to get a risqué fun on, or play a game. There are deeper ideas you can go with as well, adding other people, swinging, kink, but those may be a bit much for now.

[michelle23]

Problems in the bedroom normally stem from other problems in the relationship. Are you sure he is happy with you? Avoiding sex is a way to distance yourself emotionally from a person. Ask him is he happy in the relationship, is he still committed and does he still see a future? If he says yes, then you need to be clear that you are not satisfied sexually right now and things need to improve or you fear this will lead to a breakup. Ask him why he has began to prefer porn to the real thing? And tell him you need an answer this time. He cannot keep avoiding the issue. You need answers