Mind games!!!

[bekho]

So I met this girl online at a pen pal website. I never thought of getting involved in an online thing before. We hit it off with all the messaging and skyping. Sending photos daily etc. Very much like the movie "her". We'd talk 2 times a week for hours and hours.

When I went to thailand to teach over the summer, she would come over from singapore to spend time with me. We would go back and forth to see each other. We were really into one another. She cried every time we saw each other and had to leave.

Finally, after the summer I had to go back to london. We whatsapped a lot. I started a new job was tough for me and was really busy. I couldn't spend as much time messaging her as before but I tried. She seemed to be fine. I tried to arrange times to Skype but they fell through.

2 months later, around oct/Nov/dec time I wanted to talk to her. We hadn't skyped in months and what sapping (even 24-7) just isn't a substitute. I tried to arrange times with her but it always fell through. I didn't get it. But I was patient.

December closing to xmas I really wanted to talk.I was angry. I'd go out of my way to rush home multiple times to catch her at a good time. But shed fall asleep especially early. But the next day shed be what sapping me till so late and I'd be angry. I felt like I was being ignored. Yet, why still message me constantly?

We arranged one more time to talk and it fell through too. She said she had to go somewhere. I called her using skype regardless and she finally picked up. I complained about how I was being ignored and I wanted an explanation of why I was being treated this way. She brushed it off with several excuses. And seemed like she cared a lot about me. I believed her.

Now its december. A day before xmas eve. We arranged another time to talk and she agreed, but it fell through again. I was so disheartened. So I gave up... I didn't reply to her one whatsapp message. She never sent another. So I left it. Having gotten the message that whatever the reason, things have just moved on.

2 months laterin feb she sends me a bday message out of the blue. I'm happy but I reply simply. I wait 7 days until its her bday and message her back with the same message. And proceed to ask her how she's been and what's been going on...

She replies in an erratic and delayed method. I can see her online using whatsapp but she ignores my message at lengths.

After it all. I just wanted some answers. What happened to us? Why are you messaging me now? Can we work things out?

Her replies weren't like before. Delayed, short and illogical. Reasons weren't coherent and all over the place. I wanted some form of semblance, but I never got it. If anything, it made me more confused. ..

So finally after such a drawn out affair, I find myself back to where I was in December. Exhausted. Tired of desperately trying to find answers which weren't given. I messaged her this.

"Ok richelle, I guess it's just going to be like this. Sorry it didn't work out between us. I'll still think of you and our time together fondly. You were a nice person to me. So, I won't bother you anymore. Good luck with everything. You can do anything you want. "

And her reply was:

"Hey eric.. im sorry im not very participatory in this whole solving the problem thing. I guess it was just confusing because i really thought you were angry back in november and december and just decided to ignore me.. and then once i got used to that.. i was just argh"

This pisses me off so much.

[basilandthyme]

Bekho, she was probably shagging someone else when she was avoiding contact with you. Heaven knows, Long Distance isn't exactly known for satisfying the needs of the participants.

If there's one thing you've learned from this, I hope it's that you will stick to girls who you can see regularly.

[Kromat83]

She seeks attention, that is why she keeps contacting you, and your giving it back to her, which is the wrong thing to do.

If you still want to talk to her, only answer her in small amounts, so you seem busy and can't give her the time.

Your wasting too much energy and putting your feelings on someone too much you haven't met or barely know

Don't do online dating ever either, just go to social gatherings and meet as many people as possible.

[bekho]

We have known each other a year in total.

Yea basil. I think she ended up cheating on me.

After a few more weeks of stress Ive finally been able to let her go. I feel much stronger now.

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