is this normal ?

[chairs]

My ex girlfriend cheated on me out of the blue after we were having some trouble in our relationship when she found a replacement for me.

1 week before she cheated she claimed I was the only one she ever wants.

While having sex with him she was screaming my name in bed (she was drunk).

She even tried doing cocaine for the first couple times with this guy.

after cheating she called me and blamed me for everything and not once looker inside herself or took responsibility. But promised she would never do it again. Two days later she cheats on me with same guy in a bar bathroom.
i cut her out. She comes running back and asks for forgiveness. I forgive her. She backstabs me again.
I cut her out fully and never look back.

She sends me a million texts about how shed cut the guy out if i even speak to her again. she said she felt dead inside and has self loathing thoughts and needed help coz all summer she felt depressed and hence hurt me so that i would feel what she felt. She said that she would commit suicide coz she has nothing to live for but her mother. i didnt reply to any of this. I feel she was saying all this to play victim and get a reaction, but who knows?

I left the town for good without even saying bye. I think this hurt her immensely. She started leaning on the guy she cheated on me with. She asked him out and he said no a couple times and then eventually said yes. I think she is trying to fill my void by being with this guy who is the same race as me, looks kind of like me, similar in personality ! I feel shes trying to replace me with him clearly coz she was screaming my name in bed with him.

now its been 6 months of no contact on my end and her being with him. but every week or two she will somehow contact me asking to be her friend. that she misses "her best friend". sends me texts about how sorry she is. bla bla bla. But not once have i replied. I even deleted her off all social media and deleted all our pics together.

My question here is.... Is any of this normal ? I have researched borderline personality and a lot of it seems to fit. she was always very erratic mentally and could switch opinions very easily.

she can also like whatever her partner likes. while dating her she was sweet for a long time. maybe a year or more. then just in a span of 3 months it all fell apart. if its borderline then wouldn't it fall apart sooner? I only ask if this is normal because i have never had a break up like this before. so i want some context from an outside observer.

as for some of her history:

Her dad was physically abusive to her brother. she witnessed this a lot. her father was also emotionally not always there for her. her father cheats on her mother but yet her mother cont. to stay with him.

she doesnt know who her maternal grandfather is because as soon as he got her grandmother pregnant he just bounced. she hated her maternal grandmother as she claimed to always "look in her stuff"..

she has a very loving relationship with her mother.

She has never sustained any friendships from high school as she claimed they all backstabbed her. she didnt even have a prom date despite being attractive !! I just find that strange...

She hasnt sustained many friends from college either. maybe one or two. but not the ones she considered her closest friends.


She also was paranoid and sometimes felt weirdly as if some people did things personally towards her when usually nobody else would think that.


also, while she dated I was her everything. She couldnt look past me. She loved me so much it was kind of suffocating. But then those last 3 months she treated me like an absolute enemy. it was so strange

I just dont know if this behaviour is just normal and high strung or something deeper? have any of you'll experienced anything like this? I only question it because it is a bit annoying to have put in effort with so much effort with somebody who destroys it all with such ease..

[basilandthyme]

Leave the psycho analysis to the professionals. Just be grateful that you dodged a bullet and move on with your life.

[cookies27]

I agree with Basil- she's got some serious issues. She needs professional help, and you were completely right in cutting her out.

Leave that one behind and keep moving on.

[Wakeup]

Only thing left to do now is to block and delete her so you can't get her random, unwanted texts. Done.Like.Dinner.

[HeartIsAching]

Yes, I have experienced this. I called it "Crazy Bitch I was Well-Shut Of."

[chairs]

Yes, I have experienced this. I called it "Crazy Bitch I was Well-Shut Of."

In your experience did she ever feel guilt for what happened ?
at some level i think my ex feels guilt as she keeps contacting me. either that or she wants me to forgive her so that it makes her not feel as bad for what she did. so it might be a selfish guilt

[searock]

So you haven't blocked her number yet. Do it now.

[HeartIsAching]

In your experience did she ever feel guilt for what happened ?
at some level i think my ex feels guilt as she keeps contacting me. either that or she wants me to forgive her so that it makes her not feel as bad for what she did. so it might be a selfish guilt

I don't know. I cut the crazy-ass bitch loose and never looked back.