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Thread: Am I being led on? Or am I crazy.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
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    Female
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    Am I being led on? Or am I crazy.

    So, I'm one of those jaded girls who tends to jump the gun and "reject" the guy before he gets a chance to reject me. If I feel any pull back whatsoever I will automatically come out and say "well you're not that interested in me anyway"

    So I thought I found a good one, and I think I'm wrong

    Starts the date with a 200$ dinner, things went so well, he even invited me to a hockey game a month later - so he obviously saw himself dating me. Went for more drinks at his place, no sex. He invited me for brunch with 12 of his friends the NEXT day. I was really quiet but still doing my best to interact but I was so shy - who wouldn't be? After brunch we went to a movie (which he let me pay for) and had take out (which we split) at his place.

    After, he pulled back. I got sensitive, he was still signing into his account. He hardly texted me during his trip to his hometown and this told me he WAS NOT into me! I confronted him and made it clear I felt he was no longer interested (I said it in the least crazy way possible). He then was honest and said he felt like I was judging his every move (which I was) so I laid off and things got so much better.

    We made plans for the weekend but I had to work and be away (I fly for a living) but I came after my shift on a Thursday (at this point I had not seen him in 2 weeks)

    I had started another arguement that he was still on his dating app and he must still be looking for girls. I had BEEN through this before and didn't want to go through it again. He then told me all the girls on there were "friends and nothing more"..... please.....

    So we had plans TODAY. I msg him weds and he's like "oh hey, my brother is here" and I am like... "Oh, guess you're busy on friday?" and he avoided the question with "its undecided".. so yesterday he mentions his friend is having a party for his bday and "I could join if I want too"... I told him I was a bit broke and he changed the subject - here I am sitting home alone at almost 10pm and he gave me no details about the party - I have a feeling its because he doesn't want to pay for my drinks. Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    No it's because you are so difficult, and somewhat apprehensive. Those conversations you had set a negative mood and I know guys back away from that shit. You are a Debbie Downer, and you should mind your own business about what he is doing on his phone. You are not official, you both are just dating. During this time is to feel each other out and see if there is chemistry, how you get along, how you interact with people in their life, etc. So far you squawked at him a few times, got insecure on him about his interest, judging him, him looking at other girls....he's just looking get over yourself, and instead of being excited to join him, you debbie downed on him about being broke. You need to use your communication better to avoid being negative. You could have said "OH I would love to join you, it sounds like a fun night!" If you looked hot, sexy and being all about having fun, you would never have to worry about drinks being bought for you. It's about being a pleasure to be with, not what they can do for YOU.

    Anyways I don't think he's going to be calling you, probably never.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
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    Ireland
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    Would you not know after 5/6 dates if theres potential or not? Seriously all this dating around is just another excuse for people to have their cake and eat it too. Another way for emotionally unavailable people to avoid comittment. Your right hes not that into you so move on already.
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    Texarkana, AR
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    You're not being led on - you're crazy.

    You've indicated that you're suspicious, you've said that you're judging his every move, enough so that he can tell, and you've only dated a few times... yet you expect him to be exclusive to you and not date or even LOOK for other dates. What have you given him that will make him believe that you're truly interested?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    mountains
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    Its the beginning, just the start of getting to know one another. I don't think your being led on, just dating a man who has his own life as you have yours and he likes you, wants to get to know you. He's seeing things too, seeing how you react, how you do things.
    Just go with the flow and stop over analyzing his every move and let it be

    Would you rather have a guy that texts you 20 times a day or someone who has enough confidence in both you and he to allow for space?

    good luck

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Canada
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    Quote Originally Posted by nakali View Post
    So, I'm one of those jaded girls who tends to jump the gun and "reject" the guy before he gets a chance to reject me. If I feel any pull back whatsoever I will automatically come out and say "well you're not that interested in me anyway"

    So I thought I found a good one, and I think I'm wrong

    Starts the date with a 200$ dinner, things went so well, he even invited me to a hockey game a month later - so he obviously saw himself dating me. Went for more drinks at his place, no sex. He invited me for brunch with 12 of his friends the NEXT day. I was really quiet but still doing my best to interact but I was so shy - who wouldn't be? After brunch we went to a movie (which he let me pay for) and had take out (which we split) at his place.

    After, he pulled back. I got sensitive, he was still signing into his account. He hardly texted me during his trip to his hometown and this told me he WAS NOT into me! I confronted him and made it clear I felt he was no longer interested (I said it in the least crazy way possible). He then was honest and said he felt like I was judging his every move (which I was) so I laid off and things got so much better.

    We made plans for the weekend but I had to work and be away (I fly for a living) but I came after my shift on a Thursday (at this point I had not seen him in 2 weeks)

    I had started another arguement that he was still on his dating app and he must still be looking for girls. I had BEEN through this before and didn't want to go through it again. He then told me all the girls on there were "friends and nothing more"..... please.....

    So we had plans TODAY. I msg him weds and he's like "oh hey, my brother is here" and I am like... "Oh, guess you're busy on friday?" and he avoided the question with "its undecided".. so yesterday he mentions his friend is having a party for his bday and "I could join if I want too"... I told him I was a bit broke and he changed the subject - here I am sitting home alone at almost 10pm and he gave me no details about the party - I have a feeling its because he doesn't want to pay for my drinks. Thoughts?
    My thoughts are that you are never going to find a guy good enough until you get past your past and stop being so jaded and bitchy. You in your own words, have made you sound like a complete cold bitch who is impossible to warm up to.

    Get help for that.

    As for him "not being into you" what man could get "into you" when you're so closed off that you squeak.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    Male
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    1,302
    Yes.....youre crazy. Just relax and enjoy your time together

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