How could she move on so fast? (4 years relationship).

[snubben90]

Hello. I'll keep my story short. English is not my mother language, I am sad as hell so the text is abit messy sorry! I'll try to answer questions if you got, I might of used the wrong phrases and stuff :/

Me and my ex broke up after 4 years. We've had a shaky relationship (mostly due to her breaking up due to minor things). Broken up maybe 6 times under the past 4 years. Once because we went through an abortion.

(it all started on feb. 28th friday).
However, this time it was the first time it was "mutual" so to speak. The reason we broke up this time was shitty also from her part.
She was sick off me not helping out at home as much anymore and that I forgot to clean the toilet when I missed some pee on it.
(NOTE!: I work 220-260h each month the past 6 months to save up for a vacation for us two I am tierd when I get home (I leave 07.00 and Im home around 20.00).. she works around 100h). (I only missed to clean up my pee because my glasses are broken and it's hard for me to see in such a white area).

Note2: She never went like "could you help me do this? Cmon, you missed to clean up some pee! Can you remove it now?" but she went like "Holy shit, Im so sick of your shit.. clean up your pee" if she had a problem, she always let it be until it was to much for her. Never brought it up so really.. how can I know there is a problem unless she tells me?

So she started a fight because of that. One thing lead to another and she suddenly said "I've had enough of all of this! I don't want to keep going AND I want to start smoking again!" (She quit smoking 2,5 years without any problem).

Tierd as hell as I had worked 10 days straight, I went like "Fine, then leave. I dont want to be with someone that gives me shit when I want to make money for us and I am tierd.. also, I cant be with someone that activily want to start smoking"
It was my appartment and I didnt force her to leave.

She slept on the couch for 2 days. Then she came home and smelled SOOOOOOO much smoke and I said "How can you come into my home, when I let you stay here, take care of your cats and let you keep your stuff here and smell so much smoke when you know I hate it so much?"
(Note: Grandpa died from lung cancer.. whole family is heavy smokers and their economy is bad because of it).

She left that night for her friends house(Monday). We didnt speak until thursday.
She came over to my house, we had sex, we spoke about us.

We agreed that we were gonna try again. Maybe try couples counciling. However, she left with the attitude that we were gonna try again, she promised to try and quit smoking agian etc
Everything was going "ok".

We agreed we wouldnt speak until Monday again.
However, at friday she texted me.. saying she didnt want to try again.
Fine, I couldnt force her so we didnt speak anymore.


Saturday she went out and on Sunday I asked her about it because I had a bad feeling.
Turns out she already hooked up with some random guy. She dont know how he looked like, what his name was, his phone number or anything. She just met someone and started to make out etc...
The story sounds abit wierd due to the fact that she aint that kind of girl.. I mean, you dont know how he looks like, his name or anything? (I asked because I didnt want to make new friends at the gym and it turns out to be him...)



It's killing me so much that she did that. I cant wrap my mind around it and it feels like I meant nothing to her after 4 years!
When I found out, I went on a rage. I texted her calling her a slut etc etc

2 days ago we spoke and I asked her some about the night, she couldnt answer on my questions (So I get the feeling she might of made it all up to hurt me.. but I dont know really).
I also asked her if I ever treated her in any bad way so she wanted to leave the relationship.. she couldnt come up with a proper reason other than I didnt help out the last months.

I however, pointed out several times a day that she was giving me attitude
Example:
I come home 20.00 I help out with putting out the plates for dinner.. I forget the water and she gives me shit for it like "seriously, how lazy can you be to not get out the ****ing water?" She always replied with stuff like that.

And since we spoke on the phone, she has been texting me some that she misses me and wish she never touched that guy etc...




So to wrap this up:
I cant understand how she could move on so quick. It's really hurting me that she did also..
Also, I dont know if I ever can get over the fact that she did what she did.. even if we were singles it still hurts so much.
One part of me kinda wants her back, but I havent seen her since she told me about the guy so I don't know how I will react if I see her.. right now Im just disgusted by the thought of what she did...

[prebegan]

Wow, the mess u r in. it looks like she was anxious to end up the relation sheep and leave. Btw i see u r try so hard for that girl, if i was on ur place and work for 260 hrs to take her to vacation and she was giving me sheet about it i ll end the relation sheep in a second. That means that she doesnt give a **** for me!!! Now about the guy she hooked up with, there are two scenarios, she was drunk like hell, or she s lying that she doesnt know anything about him, in this case she know lot a things about him, the thing that she cant answer ur questions doesnt mean shes lying. My guess, if shes texting u again to be with her, misses u, he probably had no other interest with her than one night stand and she wanted more, so shes coming back to u, this only if she knew that guy before!!

[basilandthyme]

You ex sounds like a massive pain in the arse. Why you'd want to put yourself back into a relationship with her is beyond me. Yes, calling her names for sleeping with someone else after you'd broken up with her was out of line....but you'd be crazy to go back to her.

I strongly advise against relationship counselling. Dating/relationships are about finding Mr or Ms Right. They are not about trying to find a way to make it work with Mr or Ms Wrong.

Go no contact. Cut this crazy bitch out of your life.

Then: look at what you've learned from the relationship. Think about boundaries as to what kind of treatment is acceptable to you. And don't work so much! Working the kind of hours you do will kill a relationship.