Turned down a man that was interested in me because I have a bf, guilt feeling?

[searock]

Truth hurts perhaps? lolzzz (teasing you Sea)

I was referring to this comment in particular: "Many modern young men these days seem to have had their balls cut off thanks to feminism." so for once I wasn't defending the idea that men and women can be friends with no strings attached - in this case it was actually clear from the start that he was interested in more than just making friends... guys don't normally chat random girls up to make friends. She still shouldn't feel guilty though, she just had a friendly conversation and doesn't owe him anything. She should just delete and block him on facebook, there's no point for them to keep talking.

[woody]

F__ FB....(imo)
Agree with what the fellas be saying here regarding that guys don't generally seek out female chums for strictly friendship so watch out for naivety. Your in a relationship. Flip the plate and ask yourself how would you feel if your man was chatting up some woman for simply 'friendship'

Code word. I wish to be your 'friend'
really means, I have already seen you naked in my mind.

Always exceptions but these truly are seldom.
Sweet of you to be so concerned over a stranger but beware and protect your own.

[chinagirl]

Why do you feel guilty? Is there more into the story you are NOT disclosing? You met this guy on the train. What's the big deal???

[Carlina]

Truth hurts perhaps? lolzzz (teasing you Sea)

- - - Updated - - -

What's wrong with you that you have to collect male admirers and house them in your social networking page?

You know this guy was asking you out because he wanted to romance you, not be your "friend" (if you don't know that then grow the fvck up and realize that when a man approaches you out of the blue his motive is to get with you, not chat with you on your attention whoring facebook site.

What's wrong with you for attacking me like that? I asked a simple question on here and there is truly no need to be reacting this aggressive, why don't you grow up yourself? You can't even respond in a proper way on a forum. I'm very sorry that I am not the all seeing eye and I should have known that every man that approaches me wants to either have sexy with me or something romantically, I'll try to work on that mate!

- - - Updated - - -

F__ FB....(imo)
Agree with what the fellas be saying here regarding that guys don't generally seek out female chums for strictly friendship so watch out for naivety. Your in a relationship. Flip the plate and ask yourself how would you feel if your man was chatting up some woman for simply 'friendship'

Code word. I wish to be your 'friend'
really means, I have already seen you naked in my mind.

Always exceptions but these truly are seldom.
Sweet of you to be so concerned over a stranger but beware and protect your own.

Your last sentence just says it all really, thanks for reacting in a normal none aggressive way. I'm still young so it's not like I know everything about men and what not; Facebook screamed friends for me and I've once been assaulted when I didn't want to give a man my number. This man was sitting right next to me in the train and just giving him my FB when he asked was easier then risking something I guess.

Why do you feel guilty? Is there more into the story you are NOT disclosing? You met this guy on the train. What's the big deal???

As I've said before, I am really emphatic, I have a huge heart. When I turned him down he was explaining how he had just gotten over his ex and stuff and that just made me feel guilty for breaking his heart again. Shouldn't be my problem, he is a big man but still, let's just say I like to make everyone happy

[woody]

I don't think he was attacking you; just offering some brute truths. Facebook is a odd form of social darwinism and I imagine its just a well known fact that sites like those lend certain opportunities to form emotional affairs, sugar coated in 'friend zone' bs.
And though you may be just the sweetest person and oblivious to the sex seekers in disguise that use these sites, many of us assume this is common knowledge; so when you shared your plight of how you felt bad for this practical stranger, it's no wonder you got a few 'rollin eyes'

Again, sweet of you to be oh so concerned for this person you met once but honestly dear lady, don't be blind. Or could it be, YOU felt a connection and are trying to get the pat on the back and the go ahead for you own curiosity?
In any case, if your not happy with the one your with, do something about it; but if you are happy and think its alright to form online friendships with men who wish to sleep with you (and most do, they are 'men' after all), well then, you've got some self evaluating to do.

If you need outside attentions, something is missing. I wish you well on your search.

[Wakeup]

I am not the all seeing eye and I should have known that every man that approaches me wants to either have sexy with me or something romantically, I'll try to work on that mate!

No, you're definitely not "all seeing" but its good to read you're going to work on your need to collect new males in your life and stable them in your social networking coral.

Having a "good heart" is no excuse to be entertaining men online that you just met. Learn about personal and romantic boundaries and form some so you don't feel guilty when you turn down some stanger who now knows your real name and where you catch the train. Have you ever thought about your own safety even? You don't even know if what he's told you is the bloody truth and you feel bad for "breaking his heart again" he doesn't even know you ffs... how could you be so vain to think you'd "break his heart?" O.o

Yea... definitely not all seeing.

I'd kick my daughters arse if she did something like what you did without concern that maybe he could be a stalker (or worse)

[violet11]

Girl… I know this is going to sound harsh and not what you want but… You are a stalker / harassment magnet. You define yourself by how nice you are, and that is a sure fire way of attracting weirdos into your life. Trust me - I've been there.

Caring about every Tom, Dick and Harry and feeling guilty about things does not make you a good person. It's just a method of self-validation.

[smackie9]

My friend in college was totally the same way. She would socialize with every tom dick or harry. We were sitting it the whirl pool at the local rec center, she starts chatting with these men. One guy was left in there with us, she is being all friendly like she usually is, then he states he just got out of jail and wondered if we were interested in doing something sexual with him, as he is reaching for us under the water. I jumped out and told the life guard, we decided to leave. I tore a strip off her, because I have already warned her about being too friendly with strange men.

As we started to walk out, the guy was waiting for us out just outside the doors. I was so pissed, I say "SEE! what the f uck did I tell you! Stop being so naive!" A soon as we got outside I told him to not even bother, and go the f uck away. It was daylight and people were around so he wasn't going to challenge me. I figured he didn't want to go back to jail. Man it still pisses me off to the day, how dumb some people can be. Note: she was the type that everyone treated like a doormat and she wouldn't do anything about it. funny she used to say the same thing, that she had a big heart....it was to a fault.

[woody]

Carlina,
Please don't be too offended with these replies. You sound younger and of course, with a good heart. But there are allot of 'weirdo's' out there or just people who get the wrong impression.
It is your divine right to protect yourself and I think that's all people here are telling you. Don't be fooled.
It doesn't mean you have to be un naturally mean or outside of yourself; just that you need to be careful. It is not your responsibility to save strangers. You must be more cautious. That's all.
Keep your good heart safe.