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Thread: Super confused. Need advice! :( help

  1. #1
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    Super confused. Need advice! :( help

    I dated a guy for a few months. He was the first guy I've opened up to. We spent all our time together. He promised me a lot. He said a lot of things. His friends and family always told me he was in love. He didn't have his own phone, therefore he had to use his moms phone. He didn't text or call for 6 days, then when we saw each other at school, he wanted to act like everything was okay. During the time he didn't contact me, he was hanging out with his friends. Keep in mind, he didn't like me going with my friends and even kept me from my best friend. I gave him the silent treatment, and eventually he texted me, but he asked why I was talking and laughing with my guy friend earlier that day. I told him he was just a friend because he was. My boyfriend got angry and continued not to text or call. We would still stay with each other at school, but it would be completely silent. Neither one of us broke the ice. He started acting very rude to me when his friends were around, until finally after this went on for two weeks (longest two weeks ever) I broke down when we were alone and asked what was up. Why he didn't talk to me, why he acted differently. He kept saying "he didn't know" to every question I asked. I then asked if he wanted to be with me and he said yes. I asked him what I did so wrong so I could fix it and he told me "you didn't do anything wrong and I do want to be with you." I asked him why he was acting that way towards me and he said he didn't know again. We became frustrated, he got angry and I began to cry. My first time crying in front of him and all he did was sit beside me, didn't even look at me. After about five minutes, he got up and left. His sister was there and told him I was crying and asked why he was leaving. He didn't say a word to her either and just left. The next night, I decided I was done with it all and I didn't want to do it this way, but since he didn't have a phone, I texted his sister telling her to please tell him it's over and I'm done. She said she would give him the message. About four hours later, he texted me off his friends phone (he was at a party and drunk) and he said, "it's __, we aren't working out, we need to end this, neither one of us are happy." I then texted back saying, okay I told your sister earlier to tell you I was done. He texted back, ok. Only three weeks later, he began dating this girl he once had a fling with just for sex. They fought constantly and eventually after a month broke up. During the time after we broke up and when he dated her, he would say rude comments about me when I was around. I never got down to his level and said anything i would just ignore it. Now it's been a week since they've broke up, and he has stopped saying things about me, and the other day, (were juniors so we ride the bus) it was just me and him at first & I was on my phone and it wasn't working so I said to myself, what the hell is wrong with this? Then I heard him mock me in a girly voice, what the hell is wrong with this? I looked up at him and he looked at me and began to smile. Keep in mind I haven't said a word to him since that night we broke up which is now two months ago, he's just been very rude around me. After he began to smile I panicked and looked back down to my phone. Throughout the rest of the bus ride he continued to make eye contact with me over and over. I am seeing him more in the hallways and he's making eye contact with me. In class, I though somebody knocked on the door and I opened it and he was walking down the hallway toward me, we made direct eye contact & after realizing nobody was there, I panicked again and said oh my gosh and slammed the door shut. I began to freak out because I saw him and didn't expect to see him. Everywhere I go now, he's there making eye contact with me. But this afternoon on the bus, his friend threw his hat at the person I was sitting with and my ex said, don't throw it back there. His friend asked why. And my ex said because of her. And his friend looked at me then said oh.

    My guy friends tell me that he probably wants to get back together but doesn't know how to break the ice. I hope I'm not getting my hopes up because I went through a lot of bullshit with him, of course I would go back to him although my family and friends tell me not to. But like my guy friends say, he will just hurt me again and I "better not go back just because he wants me now that he realized I was better off", if he did, why hasn't he tried speaking to me? And why did he say that about his hat and me? also, another friend of mine was giving me advice. My ex boyfriend still has clothes of mine and other items, Hes been told multiple times since we broke up to give them back but he hasnt. My friend said he hasn't because it's the only thing he has left to keep me around? Please help I need some advice on this.

  2. #2
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    Youth. When it 'is' the right connection, all that crap you talked about just doesn't even happen. Don't sweat the small stuff. If it doesn't happen naturally, move on and stop over analyzing silly things. Gain some insight, gain some years of self worth and knowledge and you'll find a view less polluted of BS.
    Consider it a Universal screening process and watch out for the 'he said, she said'

  3. #3
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    Thank you for the advice. I began to move on because I knew I didn't deserve all that, but the past week that he's been around more has made me have second thoughts. He's always around which makes it harder for me.

  4. #4
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    I'm sorry. I find your whole story difficult to depict due to the lack of paragraphs or so many quotes of what others said. I admit, the impression I got would take too long and make no sense so I'll just ask you this.
    'How does he make you feel'?

    and please, no he said, she said; it's too much for ol woody to figure out.

    For you, at the end of your day, if there's too much baloney and verbal green apple quickstep you are receiving, you just gots to walk away and ask yourself, do I want to be a part of something that makes me feel that way, makes me have to respond in ways I normally would not?
    I imagine, not.
    WE must be around people that make us shine. Plain and simple.

    good luck and self love young'n
    Last edited by woody; 27-04-14 at 12:57 PM.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guestsp View Post
    Keep in mind, he didn't like me going with my friends and even kept me from my best friend.
    And you're seriously considering getting back with this guy? He sounds like a class A dickhead and if you give this guy another chance that makes you a bit of an idiot.

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