Dating a separated man...should I stay or go??

[TinaCafe89]

I'm 25 years old and I'm dating a 33 year old man. He has been separated from his wife for 4 years now. They live in separate houses, which are ironically enough one street apart from each other. He married her when he was 23 years old and she was 34 years old. When he married her, she was pregnant with another man's baby. He married her because he was here illegally and he wanted to gain his resident card. He's now an American citizen. They had agreed to marriage for him to get his papers and because she needed financial help. So she knew what she was getting into and so did he. However, when they were living together to play the part for immigration to think it was all real, he just ended up staying with her. He even gave the little girl his last name. Now, she's 45 and he's 33 and I'm 25. We started dating only 6 months ago and NO I'm not having sex with him until his divorce is finalized. I do don't want to have sex with him because God Forbid I get pregnant, I definitely DON'T want to raise a child in this drama. My child deserves better. He said that he didn't get a divorce before because he just didn't have a reason to until I came into the picture. I'm college educated, I have my masters and a good career. I have never been married and I have no children. I would ideally like a man who also has never been married and has no children. But, I feel in love with him. It hasn't been easy. He says that he wants to be involved in the little girl's life because he helped raise her but the woman won't let him. The house in which he lives in is also at her name and I'm not sure if he will be responsible for paying child support, since the child is legally his even if he's not the biological father. I want to hear some advice on this situation. Should I just walk away or should I wait for him to get the divorce? He's a good man with a good heart but his situation drives me crazy and I wonder if it's even worth it?

[countrysailor]

I am sorry to say this but RUN. The fact that they only married so he can get his resident card should be enough of a red flag to avoid him, also if they haven't divorces after being separated for 4 years, chances are he still isn't a legal citizen yet.
As for the child support that really is up to the judge, even though the child isn't his and if he never adopted the child, the judge can award child support on the sole basis that he has been raising the child since birth. It happens all the time. I know a guy that married a gal that had a son that was middle school, he never adopted the kid but when they divorced some years later the judge ordered him to pay child support.

[Rowen]

I agree with countrysailor... This guy sounds like he's carrying quite a lot of baggage he needs to sort out before he has any kind of relationship with anyone. Also, I'd like to point out another great point he made- if this guy is still with her and is now so eager to be with you...it makes you wonder if he actually didn't become a citizen.

So, I think the best would be to leave it alone. I'm sorry...I know it must really hurt. :S But, you'll find someone who can actually have a healthy relationship with you and make you much, much happier. And kudos on your courage not to sleep with him. I think that's very noble and a very smart move.
I wish it were different. :S