Past repeats

[farfai]

OK so me and my boyfriend dated for 2.5yrs about 5yrs back. Bt we were immature at that time and his immature behaviour made me fed up and I broke up and travelled to another country for studies. There was no contact for 4years between us. Then he contacted me again on a social media website and we got in touch. He showed me he has changed a lot and is independent now. I got engaged to someone else after i got in touch with my ex because my parents wanted me to marry this other guy but our thinking wouldn't match so it didn't work out. My ex and I were friends for one year after the 4year break. He kept showing me has changed and how he hasn't forgotten a single thing and that he was stupid to ruin things before. So when my arranged engagement ended. I travelled back for vacation where my ex lives. We met and things got complicated and we got together again. Now we have a long distance relation as i'm in another country for studies. I feel all the things he said that he has changed were nothing. I feel he's still the same person. Self obsessed and a party boy. Everything else is so important to him..like his work (ok that i'm perfectly fine with), his friends, his partying etc, everything other than our relation. when i complain he says i'm thinking negatively and he is sorry if i felt this way. But after that he goes back to being himself. The long distance thing is really depressing and its confusing whether i should trust him or not. He has told me about all the relationships he had during our 4years of separation, he says those relations made him realise my importance but he doesn't want to make our relation public. I feel paranoid and insecure a lot. I don't know if I should give him time or not. I'm stuck. We decided to get back when we were drunk while returning from a mutual friend's party. I would have never taken that step sober cause i'm not sure if he's really changed or not. I don't want to leave him. He says he loves me but I still feel unloved and insecure. I don't know what to do. I'll be travelling back to him after 2months in my semester break. I'm confused if I should wait till that time or just be straight up with him and tell him we were better off being friends. It has been 2months since we are back. Please help me. I do love him. But I don't want to beg him for importance.
I'm 22, my boyfriend is almost 23.

[nico88]

If he's doing all the same shit he did years ago that made you break up with him in the first place then what makes you think it's gunna work the 2nd time around?

Sounds like you're just wasting your time you know?

[Liz1234]

To be honest tell him how you feel. After you tell him how you feel, if he has shown no improvement then slowly Start to ignore him. Act like you don't need him. If he begins to ask why you even been distant, tell him that you've been thinking of being friends. A few weeks will pass. If he calls for your attention, sends flowers, try giving it another chance. If he never asks for you again then it's not worth it.

[farfai]

I have told him how I feel but in his defence he says that i'm over thinking and thinking too negatively.. Then he apologises none the less but gradually falls back in the same pattern. And now I jst feel insulted complaining again and again.. I feel like a possessive obsessed gf by telling him again and again.