Is it worth it ?

[Spottyheart]

Hi I've never posted on a forum before but I've been struggling with this problem and no matter how I look at it, I can't seem to make a decision. I would def appreciate some input and opinions I've been seeing a guy for a few months and it's been really great, when he's around he works away half the year, now that sounds ok but there's more his ex wife and him have 2 kids 3 yrs and 7 yrs boys. Sweet boys but the ex tells the older not to interact with me, which is sad for him and awkward for me. Apart from only seeing him a week out of a fortnight, the week he's back he has these 2 boys for the whole week. You heard me right, he works away for a week and then when he's home he has his boys solid for the next week. I myself have 2 kids teenagers so I get a fair bit of freedom, which should be at this stage a great thing. After a miserable failed marriage and staying single for a year after to make sure I was ready so to speak, I end up with a guy I really do care about that I either don't get to see, or never get ANY alone time with him. Ever !! ? What do I do ?

[TablesandChairs]

It's easy for me to say 'it's not worth it' but that's my honest opinion. Good relationships take one-on-one time to develop and grow; there's just no opportunity for you guys to get to that stage. When he's not away, he's looking after 2 little children...and you're always going to be third on his priority list. Add to that a bitter ex wife...he would seriously have to be amazing for me to consider sticking around.

I can't help but think; you've got older kids and this is your opportunity to connect with someone, to go out on dates, have fun...I dated a man with full custody of a 2 year old child and at the end of the day, minus work, commitments and child-raising, there was no time left and I knew I could do better, harsh as that sounds.

[Spottyheart]

That's what I needed to hear! everything you said was exactly what I've been thinking

It's easy for me to say 'it's not worth it' but that's my honest opinion. Good relationships take one-on-one time to develop and grow; there's just no opportunity for you guys to get to that stage. When he's not away, he's looking after 2 little children...and you're always going to be third on his priority list. Add to that a bitter ex wife...he would seriously have to be amazing for me to consider sticking around.

I can't help but think; you've got older kids and this is your opportunity to connect with someone, to go out on dates, have fun...I dated a man with full custody of a 2 year old child and at the end of the day, minus work, commitments and child-raising, there was no time left and I knew I could do better, harsh as that sounds.