Should I give up someone who seems to be my soulmate?

[Soraia]

Hi! I met a 34 year-old-men in a dating site. Both looking for a serious relationship in our profile. Our talk was so fluid that we met in person the next day. We found a lot of affinities, as we had never seen with other people. Intellectual similarities, same life values, taste for art, same way to see the world. After that, we found we were very sexually compatible, too. It´s been 40 days we met. We saw each other every other day. I practically slept half of these days in his apartment.

But I was the only one who invited him to meet me. He said yes all the time, but never invited me. And the nights we are not together I go online to check, and I find he is online with other people on Skype, Facebook and on the dating site we met. I asked him why he doesn´t seem interested and he said he cares about me. But he said he is not good at showing his feelings. And said we are still getting to know each other, so it is too soon to make a decision. I feel that 40 intense days s enough to know if it is worth to try and have a relationship. If he is not sure, it is because it is not meant to be.

Yesterday he didn´t answer my phone call and I saw he was online on Skype, Facebook and on the dating site we met, talking to other people. I said it was enough for me and that I had given up. He said he cared about me and we should talk. I asked him to come to my house so we could talk. He said it was too late and he didn´t want to talk while I was mad. I said that if he went to my house I would know he really cares. But he didn´t go. So I decided not to invest anymore in this relationship. He is trying to get in touch with me. But I´m afraid to talk to him and be deluded. What do you think?

[woody]

I think you should follow your gut instincts on this one. If you are a romantic and are seeking a true companion who wants only you, this guy, sorry to say, doesn't sound like he's worth your level of intimacy offered.

Sure, you two get along well, have a great connection all round so why then is he still talking to other ladies through online dating sites? Note: you told him you were 'done' and only then did he try regaining you into his life.
You must understand that if this was a right match for you, He would be calling you, asking if he could come over, he would not be cruising the online sites anymore because, well, he already found you....

It is upsetting when we like someone who although has many good qualities, seems to be a little bit of a player as well.
Many men will boost up the pursuing aspect of a lady only when and if the lady retreats. Beware of this.
And hold out for one who does not play games. When you meet the right match, you'll know..

[Stay 2gether]

i agree it sounds like he is trying to have his cake and eat it too and you are worth way more and i am sure you want more so i would let him go and keep pursuing your love or wait until it fins you because clerly he is not the one lady hope all ends well for you lady

[anya_may21]

I think he doesn't want a relationship and you do and he felt that you do and he wants to date others for awhile, you included in that list of others and he may be distancing himself to you in sake of others on the FB, dating sites who want more casual things.

[TablesandChairs]

I met my fiancee online; we were both only there for 2 weeks before we met. We took our profiles down within a week but neither of us had logged on since we met each other.

Nothing says 'serious' about this guy and you are wasting your time. You've spent over a month together - that's long enough to shut your profile down and be done with dating sites...if he was serious. Point is, he's not - he's still searching. Don't accept that; move on and start dating again. He's not the one for you. A true soulmate feels the same about you as you do about them...anything less and you're settling for someone who is not that into you. No one wants that.

[desktop]

There's an article right here on this site that said it best. "Not everyone you feel a connection with, no matter how mind-blowing, is your soul mate."

[TheEvilJester]

From your story, it certainly sounds like you two have hung out enough to be able to decide if a relationship is worth pursuing. So, yeah, at this point it sounds like the guy just isn't ready to commit. That, or he is just a jerk looking to hook up with any woman he can.

I mean, some of the stories shared above are a bit extreme. You meet one person on a dating site and then suddenly stop even bothering to log in to the site immediately? That is wonderful that it worked out for you, but that is extremely rare. If you ever have any kind of success with those stupid dating sites, it is usually after getting ignored by a bunch of people, meeting with a few and not really hitting it off, meeting with a few and thinking you hit it off only to never hear back, etc. So, I actually wouldn't recommend you stop using those sites until you are relatively sure a relationship is brewing with somebody.

Anyway, back on topic.... It sounds like this guy has no interest in a more serious relationship. Not only that, but you tell him that you are done and all he can say is "it's too late to talk now" and "I don't want to talk while you are angry," and crap like that? If he really wanted to continue seeing you, he would/should have wanted to talk immediately once he knew you were hitting a breaking point. Not only that, but he should be the one to initiate contact and get togethers sometimes. So, I would agree with the general consensus here. Go with your gut feeling. He isn't worth your time. You, like all women, deserve somebody who will treat you like their queen, not just some other girl among God knows how many others he is probably talking to as well.