So confused about my relationship

[Confusedboy1994]

I don't know what is happening? I know this girl for around 1.5 years. I asked her out about a year ago and she turned me down, but we remained very close friends, then we ended up fighting and she patched up and we again became very good friends, then we again fought and patched up but then some months ago we had our most terrible fight, so much so that I blocked her off and deleted her number and we didn't talk for a few months, but now, she again sent me a message asking to be friends and of course we have patched up again! I hold a terrible weakness for her, I can't turn her down but this time the problem is I think she has a boyfriend, and so the equation is a bit different than before! Why does she keep on coming back when she has made it clear we can't be involved in any kind of romantic relationship. She knows I love her, she has a boyfriend, yet she still wants to patch up! What's wrong with her? I can't ignore her continuously! It's impossible to not hang out with a person you desperately want to hang out with!

[pcmaster]

Well man you like her and she wants that validation and attention you give to her. But she dont need you - she needs ego boost. So she was using you.

You like her but you cant be friends because you like her on another level and its just gona cause you pain and waste of time on wrong girl. Make sure you are not lonely and have friends, hobbies, communication with other attractive girls. You need to live rich so you wont make stupid choices and want tiny bits of attention this girl gives to you.

[TheEvilJester]

I think pcmaster hit the nail on the head. I agree 100%. It sounds like she just wants to use you. She doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, but she enjoys the attention she gets from you. So, she keeps coming back knowing that you will take her back, but knowing that she will never go any further with you than being a friend.

To be honest with you, even if she was 100% just a friend and not somebody with whom you wanted to be more than friends, I think I'd still suggest cutting all contact with her in this case. After all, sure friends fight sometimes, but not as heated and as constant as you seem to be saying, and usually not to the point where you will stop being friends, even if only temporarily. Friends should be relatively easy. If you are getting to the point with a friend where you actually feel it necessary to end the friendship, and it has even happened multiple times after multiple reconciliations, I think that is a pretty clear sign you two weren't even meant to be friends.

Now, let's pretend for a minute she was a great friend and none of these fights ever happened.....

If you can't see being just her friend, then my advice would still remain the same. You need to end the friendship. Otherwise, you are just causing yourself undue heartache and keeping yourself in limbo because you'll just be wanting a girl you can't have. You need to instead give yourself time to get over her and then find a girl who WILL want to be with you. Good luck. I hope you find what you are looking for.