We had this ****ed up friendship that looks like a relationship but it wasnt. Nothing really happened between us. After a few years of ups and downs i found out she had gotten into drugs earlier this year. For other reasons i then also fell into them and she got furious. she can be volatile and aggressive but i love her:
Jess
Hope you are ok. It made me really sad to see you like you were last week. I dont wanna sound lame but i really do love you and i think you're clever, funny and have the best personality. Honestly the best time I've had this year was wen you slept at mine a few times and not because i was hoping for a root but because i thought that being in each others arms felt so right and waking up with you there still intertwined with each other made me feel happier than I've felt in a long time. I dont know what it is because it doesn't seem right but it just feels right for some reason. I want you to be in my life till the day i die and i will always come back to you no matter what has happened. I hope we both find inner happiness one day and wen that happens then maybe the timing will be right. I dont know if this is how you feel deep down as well but there is definitely some awesome connection between us. Even tho i hurt you sometimes and you hurt me as well we always put it past us because deep down we do care for each other. I think you mite feel the same way i do, maybe you just dont know it or maybe you do and you're just not saying it. Or maybe you dont and ill just hav to live with that as painfull as that is for me. you're really special jess (tiki) and i hope you really know that inside and dont just act like it
If you ever need me to take you away from somewhere bad or take you home or if you ever just want to hang out with someone who just really appreciates you as a person and wants to make you happy just let me know.
Im so happy you decided to crash some jewish party 4 years ago because i doubt either of our lives would be the same if you went somewhere else. If weve sticked together this long there must be something special and different about us. Maybe its fate i dont know i dont usually believe in that stuff but there's no other explanation how a loser jew and a wild, crazy serb could be so close for so long. Sorry for the essay but it really does come from the heart. x
Please dont reply just think about it and tell me what you think next time you see me