Please help me read some mixed signals!

[PurplePanther]

This is my first post on these forums. About 2 years ago, I met a girl who was visiting my work-place from a different city. We met at work almost every day, and became friends. I soon found myself inexplicably happy in her company. One day, shortly before she left, I proposed that we 'go out', although I did not explicitly call it a date. She happily agreed, and I gave her a tour of my city - we walked a lot, talked a lot, and had dinner together. (It was the first time we had met outside of work.)

She left a few days after that. In the last 2 years, we found ourselves in the same city once more, and on that occassion we met, had lunch together, and generally caught up. Apart from this, we have generally kept in touch via messages, and talked on the telephone a few times. The messaging itself however, developed a strange pattern, which is the focus of this post.

In short - whenever I message her, she messages back, and then we exchange a few more messages and sometimes photos, keeping each other in touch with our lives. However, she almost never messages me herself, without me initiating the conversation. By itself, this is of course not unusual at all - a tell-tale sign of a general lack of interest. However, there is a complicating factor here. Every time I went a few weeks without messaging her, she would send me a message on the lines of "Have you forgotten all about me? Are you still alive? Are you too busy to talk to me?". And so on! And I find this utterly and completely inexplicable, because as I mentioned before, despite me messaging her often, she will never initiate a conversation herself, apart from the above 'panic' messages!

I am not really asking the question - 'Is she interested in me?'. This is because I'm fairly convinced that she is not. (I am, of course, interested in her.) However, what do you ladies think of this strange messaging behaviour? What might it mean? I can't seem to find any way to explain it!

[VJ2406]

Hello purple panther

I don't really like to make judgements about people I don't know however it sounds to me like she's revelling in the attention. Is there any reason you won't call her out on it? Have you ever called her out on it?

[PurplePanther]

Hello purple panther

I don't really like to make judgements about people I don't know however it sounds to me like she's revelling in the attention. Is there any reason you won't call her out on it? Have you ever called her out on it?

I actually don't know what 'call her out on it' means. Sorry - English isn't my native language.

I'm going to assume that by 'calling her out', you mean openly asking why she never messages me herself, or (when I receive a 'panic' message), telling her that I didn't message her for a few weeks because she never messages me.

I actually did this once. All she said was 'Yeah I get it - I should have messaged you.'

And then the same pattern continued.

It's ironical, but it's because of her 'panic' messages that we're in touch today at all. Without them, I would have long ago become weary of always having to initiate the conversation, accepted her lack of interest in me, and stopped messaging her altogether. But on receiving a 'panic' message, I somehow convince myself that it would be rude not to reply.

[purple_roses]

She sucks.. Expecting you to do ALL the work. I think that's incredibly rude of her to make those comments. I wouldn't be attracted to someone who doesn't put any effort in. I like feeling special too.